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Nigel's RR'd post.

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


PricklyHolly Report 9 Mar 2013 10:25

Ooops......... i got that wrong.

I thought it was a thread posted by Daphne that had also disappeard but it was Nigels thread enquiring about Daphne.


Jonesey Report 9 Mar 2013 10:20


I can but agree with you.

The tone of some responses to posts I see leave a great deal to be desired and can indeed deter people from using the message boards for fear of being vilified or ridiculed. Whether the writers of those responses lack empathy, basic manners or a good command of language is often difficult to determine. It may of course be a combination of all three.

We are all human and as such we are all prone to making mistakes. The way most of us learn not to make the same mistake again is for someone to point out our mistake, to tell us what we did wrong and then to tell us how to do it correctly. That is to educate which should be done through encouragement not by bullying.

A simple test when considering making a response is before making it ask yourself whether you would be happy or upset if someone said that to you in that manner. If the answer is "Upset" then modify your response until the answer is "Happy".


patchem Report 9 Mar 2013 10:18

I was going to say Bother, and I will still say Bother, but I sat here pressing my back button and got back to the deleted thread.
Perhaps that worked for me because I had posted on it, not just looked?
So I have sent a message to Nigel offering apologies etc etc. Obviously I do not write as well as Cynthia, but I have tried.
I suggested that he reposts on the Living Relatives board without specifying certain information.
He was looking for Daphne Wallis born about 1931, he thought in the East End, but no births there showing.
I think in a discussion a few weeks ago someone admitted that if they believed the T's and C's were ignored they would have no qualms in rr'ing, and could see no reason why they should pm the poster. Poster was wrong, they rr, end of story.
Daphne Wallis, 1931, is in Nigel's tree on here, so you can still send him a message - you do them so much more eloquently than I can manage.


Gai Report 9 Mar 2013 09:58

Hi Cynthia

I didn't see the post you are talking about Cynthia so can't comment on it but should the post been RR'd or have the self appointed board police struck again.

Gai :-)


PricklyHolly Report 9 Mar 2013 09:58

It seems that Daphne's thread has disappeard for the very same reason.

I doubt she was given the opportunity to edit her thread before it was RR'd. :-( :-(


Cynthia Report 9 Mar 2013 09:38

I have just spent ages trying to find the right words to add to Nigel's thread which had been RR'd - and there it was gone :-(

I will still put my thoughts though....... :-D

I do hope that whoever RR'd the post had the courtesy to pm Nigel and explain the reasons as to why. He was, as so rightly pointed out, a new poster.

Sometimes, I am too embarrassed to send one of my messages to let people know that they have replies, because of the abruptness of tone used in those replies - it makes the boards look so unfriendly

Whilst I am well aware of the privacy issues involved, surely it is much friendlier to ask "May we ask what your connection to this person is?" or "Would you please mind telling us why you want to know........?"