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Nigel's RR'd post.

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


Alemap Report 11 Mar 2013 10:10

I don't normally engage in the general chit chat, but this one is important.

I agree with Cynthia and everyone else wholeheartedly.

I give my apology to anyone I have offended for any reason. :-D And hopefully, haven't scared anyone off the boards.

I was brought up with "If you cannot say anything nice, do not say it at all."

I do realize that I can be abrupt sometimes, but it is more due to excitement for having found something useful than any intent to be malicious or hurtful.

I do also try to include where I found the information, so the person can try and find further information for themselves.



MarieCeleste Report 11 Mar 2013 13:28

Very good point about including sources Pam, I do get a bit concerned when people just plonk a load of info down without saying where it's from or what the relevance is.

Fair enough when it includes a self explanatory heading like "1901 English Census" or "England & Wales Death Index" but when people are taking info from e.g. other trees and just saying she married Joe Bloggs and they had these children ....... then I personally feel it lacks credibility. I honestly don't mean to offend any helpers on here, it's just my opinion.

There have been many threads started about what is expected of new posters or the problems with them so it probably does us good to have a look at ourselves. I wouldn't go so far as to say we should have a service level agreement or charter as people volunteer on here and give their own time so it wouldn't be fair to expect any more than that.

EDIT: Have sent pm to Wendy


lancashireAnn Report 11 Mar 2013 13:35

I agree MC

I try to remember to put the source at least briefly if not the full url, but sometimes get carried away by having found something that was a bit obscure and forget but usually remember to put what it is.

It frustrates me when looking at a census return that has been posted if I have to calculate which one it is using the age and yob mainly cos my memory is not what it was and I forget and have to work it out again when I go back to the page after reading page 2!


GlasgowLass Report 11 Mar 2013 14:54

I think I add too much at times, and perhaps it could confuse someone is is new to this hobby
I recall one post that I made, adding every census year in order for one single family
Unless I am mistaken, it was our self appointed GR Police Person who TOLD me
( didn't ask) to cut it down because there was too much info on a single post

Being somewhat green at the time I amended the post as per the direct order!

Tenerife Sun

Tenerife Sun Report 11 Mar 2013 15:27

Who is the GR police person? Am I the only one who doesn't know. I'm beginning to have an inferiorty complex :-D :-D :-D


Gins Report 11 Mar 2013 15:56

Well, no one has told me either!

Maybe its us TS ;-)

Tenerife Sun

Tenerife Sun Report 11 Mar 2013 16:09

Ummmm hope not Gins, I have pm'd you


GlasgowLass Report 11 Mar 2013 16:11

Not TS or Gins.
I do have my suspicions but, lets face it, someone here could be their bestest pal or, or junior ranking officer for all I know!

Tenerife Sun

Tenerife Sun Report 11 Mar 2013 16:13

Thank you Ann, I feel better now and I also have the answer :-D :-D


lancashireAnn Report 11 Mar 2013 16:50

Please could someone pm me too to confirm / or not confirm my suspicions :-S

was it Sylvia who had the little black book of miscreants?


lancashireAnn Report 11 Mar 2013 17:09

thanks you TS - suspisions confirmed :-)


jax Report 11 Mar 2013 17:19

Should anyone wish to help Nigel

new thread


SylviaInCanada Report 11 Mar 2013 17:38

LancashireAnn ..............

yep, I have a little black book, but so do some others .............

.................. but the list is of people who have been unbelievably rude and unpleasant on threads after having asked for and been given help .........

........... or have been found to be professional researchers.

You would not believe some of the things that have been said to (or about) me!

Other helpers have also been insulted or maligned ............... I assume they keep their own lists of people they will no longer help "because ..."

I believe that I have no need to place myself in the firing llne more than once ......... I volunteer my time, and do my best.

If someone repays that voluntary help with vituperation, then I do not need the aggravation.


SylviaInCanada Report 11 Mar 2013 17:44

I also believe that we should be helping people new to the hobby learn how to do it ..................... telling them about the sites, teaching them how to use freebmd, etc .............. instead of just always feeding them the information

To that end, I provide the site where I found the information ................. and most especially when it is one of the obscure sites that I've found of possible use over the years, such as Castle Garden (for immigration into the US from the 1830s to the 1890s), or the Blacksmiths Index

I also think that we do need to know where someone has searched before we start looking ............. hence the "where have you looked?", "have you searched freebmd?" "what else do you know?"

Unfortunately, those are all questions that can come over as staccato and abrupt, or rude.


Cynthia Report 11 Mar 2013 18:20

Some more good points raised. :-D

I think MC and Anne raised a good issue re posting too much information and thus totally swamping a new poster with a bewildering array of names and details.

It takes me ages to wade through a census for salient facts and I often need advice on how to sort out relationships. Others though, can sail through a census with no difficulty, spotting relationships easily. We are all different.

Sylvia's point is also valid, in that it's helpful to know where people have already looked - it just takes those single words 'please' and 'thank you' eg......"Please could you tell us where you have looked?" to make all the difference between a request and an order.


Janet Report 11 Mar 2013 18:39

That is exactly the point Cynthia.

It's the way it is said, not the question that is asked.

When I came on here in 2004 I saw a friend of mine plottin her tree, I watched the genealogy telly programmes, I got given my grandad's birth cert.

I bought myself a subscription on here, it was ages until I knew all the different places to look., which ones were free, which ones you had to pay for. FreeBMD was a revelation to me ! Over the years I have learnt things, found sites and eventually actually been able to help others

I have had some curt replies myself and I think to myself I'm 56 for goodness sake I don't need people snapping at me like this. They wouldn't do it if I was in the room with them?

anyway a name and shame board that would be a laugh :-D


ArgyllGran Report 12 Mar 2013 08:34

While I completely agree with Cynthia and the other posters on this thread, the quick-fire nature of the boards may sometimes be part of the reason for some replies coming across as abrupt.

Because replies are usually posted so quickly, there's a certain amount of pressure to add your tuppenceworth before someone else posts the same exciting bit of info that you've found, or before the answer to your question is posted before your question is, which then makes you look as if you haven't read the thread.

I wish the screen would refresh itself automatically when something new is added.
While you're composing or previewing your reply, you don't know what else is being added to the thread. If you refresh the screen to check on that before posting your carefully composed message, you lose your message.
Therefore I think some posters just quickly post the info or ask the question without taking time to think how it might appear to the reader.

Which does not excuse all the abrupt posts! It does seem to me, though, that the Board Police have backed off a bit on other threads since this one started, so that's good.
[LATER] Well, I take that last sentence back, having had a look at one or two threads this morning.


Cynthia Report 12 Mar 2013 12:03

You may have a point there argyllgran.

What I tend to do, if posting a message that takes me a while to type, I copy it, refresh the page and then paste it if the information is still relevant.

Haven't looked at much this morning as have been out.


ArgyllGran Report 12 Mar 2013 16:29

Yes, I usually do that too, Cynthia, but sometimes forget in the heat of the moment!

It would still be good if the page refreshed itself, like email.



Potty Report 14 Mar 2013 11:34

I think I may just have been a bit abrupt with someone. A thread from Nov last year has reappeared with a request for more info. The poster had never been back to the thread and there was no acknowledgment in the new post of the info already found and no thank you. Not from somebody that new to the boards (23 posts). I shan't be helping on that one!