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Ideas needed

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


MarysRoots Report 21 Apr 2013 22:05


Just wondered if anyone as any ideas to help me??

In 1996 my brother passed away his son (my nephew) was courting a girl and she was due have my nephews child later the same year 1996.

Due to a massive family disagreement we have never spoke to my brothers wife or family since and have never seen my brothers grandchild On my brothers grave a vase was put on with grandson so I know my nephew had a son and have often wondered what he was like I also know my nephew split from the boys mother is there a way I could find out if he's well does he know about his grandfather etc. He would probably not be interested in our side of the family and I'm not sure if it would be appropriate for me to contact him direct even if I found him He would be about 16/17 now


Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it

Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it Report 21 Apr 2013 22:14

If his father was named on the birth cert then you should be able to find it. But think you have to know all the details ie actual birth date mums name etc to get the cert as its under 50 years old so subject to privacy laws to protect identity fraud .

What is needed

Date of birth must be given if birth occurred in last 50 years
Place of birth must be given if birth occurred in last 50 years
Father's / Parent's full name must be given if birth occurred in last 50 years
Mother's maiden surname and forename must be given if birth occurred in last 50 years


brummiejan Report 21 Apr 2013 22:49

First thing is to pin down the birth really. Or maybe you could try looking for birth announcements in the local paper - these would be accessible at the nearest main library for the area. Both these approaches rely on your knowing the child's surname really.
However, might it be better to try locating your nephew, if contact is what you are thinking of?


MarysRoots Report 21 Apr 2013 22:56


I would rather not contact nephew due to certain circumstances surrounding his late father




brummiejan Report 21 Apr 2013 23:06

In that case Mary, up to you obviously, but for what it's worth in my opinion I would let sleeping dogs lie. If there is such bad feeling in the family, his father and other family members might be really upset by the contact - and he is still very young which means you have to be especially cautious.
What a shame this rift has occurred isn't it.


MarysRoots Report 21 Apr 2013 23:26

Sometimes things can never be put right, Maybe one day I will meet him at my brothers grave if he goes there as I visit often

Kind Regards



GlasgowLass Report 22 Apr 2013 00:11

Often, on an anniversary, birthday ect, I leave a card at the grave of my family.
Rather than leave it to get soaked in the rain, I place it, fully open in a plastic see through wrapper. ( a polly pocket sealed with sellotape works) and pin it onto one of those card holder thingys

Since I started doing this, other relatives visiting the grave, are now doing the same thing.
Cards left at the grave, are still intact and still very legible after many weeks.
(A card like this was left on my mums grave in Sep 2011 is still there and still completely intact)

You could if you wanted, write a very carefully worded message, addressed to your brother, which could be found and read by his grandson.. if he visits.


MarysRoots Report 22 Apr 2013 00:31

Good idea GlasgowLass I will have to think of something subtle and hope my brothers grandson sees it you never know :-) :-)