Genealogy Chat

Top tip - using the Genes Reunited community

Welcome to the Genes Reunited community boards!

  • The Genes Reunited community is made up of millions of people with similar interests. Discover your family history and make life long friends along the way.
  • You will find a close knit but welcoming group of keen genealogists all prepared to offer advice and help to new members.
  • And it's not all serious business. The boards are often a place to relax and be entertained by all kinds of subjects.
  • The Genes community will go out of their way to help you, so don’t be shy about asking for help.

Quick Search

Single word search

Genes Extras

Genes Reunited subscription bonuses

As a way of saying thank you to our subscribers, we have launched Genes Extras. You'll find exclusive competitions and discounts on family history magazines, days out and much more.

Take me to Genes Extras

Icons

  • New posts
  • No new posts
  • Thread closed
  • Stickied, new posts
  • Stickied, no new posts

'Here I am mom' after 22 years

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Linda

Linda Report 13 Jun 2013 13:06

Very well put RR

Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose Report 13 Jun 2013 11:45

From the sound of it, the person acting as intermediary in doing the searching, acted sensibly and with discretion, and not giving the details out to the 'seeker' but letting the 'sought' know and giving him the opportunity to decide what he wanted to do.

It doesn't actually say in the article whether there was a point at which it was obvious to the intermediary that the son knew he was adopted, that he did was great obviously, but one has to think that will not always be the case, and to find that out from a stranger could make for a complete disaster.

I hope those who watch 'Lost Families' and see this article, will also remember that it doesn't always work out so well, and that it is not just the two parties but extended family that might be affected.

Helping reunite adoptees, birth or absent parents and children takes a massive amount of sensitivity , discretion, thought and also some professional detachment I think. It is so easy to forget in your empathy with or sympathy for someone desperate to find a parent or child that there are two sides to the story.

I know from some personal experience that the option to consider the situation before it is 'forced' on you by a knock on the door or phone call out of the blue, is really the minimum needed. As on 'LF', time to read a letter, time to consider the basic 'why, where, and if' before it happens, is likely to make for a better long term outcome.

What makes me sad about this story in particular though is it is so recent, not 'back in the day', and there was a 17 year old girl who obviously had no support to help her keep her child. No one, should 'have' to have their child adopted to keep them alive and in decent conditions, if that is not what they really want to do. ( I admit I have a personal bias lol but will not go into that here).

CupCakes

CupCakes Report 12 Jun 2013 23:47

A touching real life story

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2340319/Here-I-mom-The-Facebook-response-reunited-mother-long-lost-son-adoption-22-years-ago.html