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Lack of communication - so annoying!

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


Gillian Report 10 May 2014 10:51

I discovered recently that the names of my father and his sister and parents had been added to someone's tree.. Within days of these names being added I sent a message to the person who had added them, asking him how we were related and requesting to see his tree. Two weeks later I still have nor received a reply from him.

It really is so annoying. You would think that if someone is interested enough to join a genealogy site, they would want to know more.

Of course there are circumstances when you won't get an answer - for example, my cousin's tree still appears on GR, although he died last year - but my message was sent within a few days of the names appearing..


Ken2 Report 10 May 2014 11:23


On the Genes Help pages it says: "If you wish to contact another member you must either have a paid subscription or pay per view credits. It costs 30 credits to send a message.".

I read this to mean that if the person you have contacted is not a paid member, or hasn't got credits, then he/she can't reply.

You do say it's been two weeks - not a long time if the recipient has been on a fortnights holiday.

Hope they reply soon

Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it

Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it Report 10 May 2014 11:37

A non paying member can reply to a message .what they can't do is initiate a contact


Ken2 Report 10 May 2014 12:04

Thanks Shirley for clarifying that point.

Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it

Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it Report 10 May 2014 12:08

Maybe asking to see there tree straight away hasn't gone down well .

I know I only open my tree when I am absolutely sure there is a family connection .

If any of those family that the person has added to their tree is still alive then they need their permission to add them .

I would try another contact but giving more details about your dads side and again ask what is their connection .dont ask to see their tree again though .

I take it the original message has been opened ?


wisechild Report 10 May 2014 12:08

It happens on most sites.
If I want to contact someone on Ancestry for example I always check to see if their tree has been active recently.
Even if it has, there is rarely more than a 25% response to my message.
Those who do respond are usually very quick to do so, even if it´s only a "thanks for the info".


DazedConfused Report 10 May 2014 12:53

Just because someone has a tree on any site does not necessaril mean they are looking for any kind of contact.

And no one can be forced to reply.

This is an old problem for which there is no solution.


Inky1 Report 10 May 2014 15:28

Presently, two of my sent messages are unopened. One was sent 05May2014 to a member with whom I have had previous contact. The other (to a 'new' contact) was sent 11Apr2014. I generally wait for around six weeks before deleting them. As well as the reasons already raised, this allows for illness & holidays. I don't know whether or not the act of deleting an unopened message also deletes it from the other members inbox?

Sadly Ancestry do not have a 'message opened' flag. In March I received a message wherein the comments were at first a puzzle. Until I realised that the member was replying to a message I had sent in August last year......


Hugh Report 10 May 2014 21:27

Shirley, re. needing permission to add a living person to your tree.

I doubt that there is any legal requirement for this. The fact that a person is related to you or details of their events is deemed to be information 'in the public domain'.
It is this which allows you to purchase an Extract of anyone living, related or otherwise. You are free to purchase BMD Extracts of current members of the Royal Family, for example.


DazedConfused Report 10 May 2014 21:59

You can also do what I used to do when adding a 'living' person to my tree.

Put in a false death date and then make a comment in the notes.

Also depending on how closely related you are to that person does it really matter.


Inky1 Report 10 May 2014 22:45

What purpose is served by inputting a false death date?


Kay???? Report 10 May 2014 23:37

Any name can be added to your tree ,living or otherwise,,,,,,

the clause is-------you must refrain from adding personal information that can lead to identification of (a) living person/ (b)people ,,,,,,,,,,,,a name & yob isnt information that identify a person and is excluded from privacy or data protection.


DazedConfused Report 11 May 2014 11:23

The date I was thinking of was 29th Feb!


Kucinta Report 11 May 2014 12:43

Hugh - Shirley is right in that it is a Genes Reunited requirement that you do not add living persons to your tree on Genes Reunited without their permission:

From the FAQ re Family tree :

"Living relatives

Members must have permission to add the names of any living relations to their tree.

If a member has added the names of living members of your family to their tree then we can ask them to remove them. Please send a full list of any living names and their years of birth that have been added without permission to the Genes Reunited support team.

It would also really help the support team if you could send in full details of the person who has added these names. When you see your own name or your family names in the search results, you can click on the link to send the tree owner a message. On the next page you'll see their membership number. Please include this name and number in your email to us.

We will then contact the member who added them on your behalf."


Inky1 Report 11 May 2014 18:58


Not really an answer to my question. The persons are 'living' even though you set them as dead.

Irrespective of any GR requirements I tend to agree with Hugh. BMD's are in the public domain.

If you intend to give access to your tree then you protect the data relating to your living relatives by setting the flag that makes them 'hidden'.

If you find that another member appears to have input some of 'your' living relatives, it may well be that those names are also living relatives to that other member.


SylviaInCanada Report 12 May 2014 04:58

just as a point of interest .............................

ancestry automatically changes ALL information on a person added to your tree to PRIVATE if the person has been born in the last 100 years and there is no death date.

so it is not only GR that has this requirement


Gillian Report 12 May 2014 10:19

Thanks everyone for your comments. Still no reply from the poster, but in a roundabout way I have discovered that he is researching my grandmother's family. I would assume that he is a paid up member as he has so recently added these names, even if like me he is only a basic member.

Still hoping for a response, though. :-)


DazedConfused Report 12 May 2014 11:49

Gillian - how many of 'your' family members have been added.

I know in my own research, I will add in a Spouse and any children to my own family, but if a more distant relative, that will be it. No more research.

This could be the case here. A member of your family marrying in and being added to the tree and that could be the sum total of their research into 'your' family.


Reggie Report 12 May 2014 11:49

It is not necessary to be a paying member to put a tree on GR.

Has your message been opened?


Gillian Report 12 May 2014 12:43

Actually there is no "message sent" or "message opened" by my message, just a blank! (Yes, I did press "Send") Don't know what the significance of that is, but it's not so important now, because I know I can contact him through his one name study site. He has over 22,000 names on it, so will be kept busy updating and responding to queries, I guess.

thanks again, folks. :-)