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Oi!! Just returning........

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


Heather Report 1 Aug 2006 09:31

We have received an interest in the vacancy left by Glen from young Mr David Owen from general board. He does seem keen and has had aspirations to join tips board for some time, elevating himself from what he refers to as the trailer trash of GR. We will await his CV and then convene a general meeting. I have pointed out that this is possibly only a temporary post (well, I dont know though, he is better looking than Glen ...........)


Unknown Report 1 Aug 2006 09:39

Oooh, this might well be a promising development Heather. I have previously exchanged correspondance with Mr. Owen, and l believe me may have the necessary erm, attributes to fit our requirements. Erm, exactly what are our requirements ???

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 1 Aug 2006 09:46

Betrayed by the women in my life. Mrs Glen is far better today and is enquiring as to the bedside manner of this infiltrater,she says she may have an oppurtunity for him!! And as for you lot................................... Where is the blooming door? Glen


Heather Report 1 Aug 2006 09:55

Glen, quite clearly the post has been advertised as temporary only. Would you deny this young chap's aspirations to better himself in life? As it happens, I was thinking of asking you, on your return, to take a junior supervisory role in that you could train him up to NVQ level 2 in gimping. You can tell Mrs Glen that from what I have heard Im sure his bed side manner is exemplary (even if his spelling isnt) and we will forward her passport size photos for her approval. But, this is all supposition - we need his CV and statement before we can proceed any further. It may be his nerve fails him and that your mask doesnt fit him yet.


Unknown Report 1 Aug 2006 09:57

Oooops! Tinsel Knickers made an unexpected visit. l think we're in his bad books, although he's being a bit melodramatic with the betrayel part though. But will the knickers fit Heather? I'm sure David won't have a problem parading around in tinsel knickers.


Heather Report 1 Aug 2006 10:04

Ive told David he may wear his own knickers (well, would you want the ones Glens had on for the last year???) I have suggested soft leather leider hosen as a possibility - but we are open to discussion on that point. However, he seems to have gone very quiet now ........................................


Unknown Report 1 Aug 2006 10:06

As long as he doesn't want lycra, bulges in shorts have caused enough probs on gen already today. Besides, lycra is so 80's

Merry Monty

Merry Monty Report 1 Aug 2006 10:12

lol Rebs............I hope no General Board readers come over here...they will be shocked! Merry


Heather Report 1 Aug 2006 10:14

I bet this thread is doing someones Ed in, dont you? However, it seems Mr Owen may have chickened out Rebs and Merry. We await his reply or otherwise.


Unknown Report 1 Aug 2006 10:18

If David decides to join us, we'll have to rename the thread, Straight Woman for the Gay Guy...........we may not be a telly show, but just as entertaining. lol !!!


babs123 Report 1 Aug 2006 10:20

It appears to me that Glen is bristling somewhat at the prospect of anyone here even considering a temporary replacement for him and I don't blame else could fill those tinsel knickers and I'm sure Mrs G wouldn't want anyone else to either. ... unless anyone knows differently. Kat :)


Heather Report 1 Aug 2006 10:20

Yes, I just hope Mrs G isnt being spoon fed - I can imagine Glen being a bit brutal at the moment thinking of this incomer!


Unknown Report 1 Aug 2006 11:23

*waves belatedly to Kat*


Unknown Report 1 Aug 2006 13:15

I've been overcome with excitement or something and have had to lie down all morning. I must say I think I would make an excellent gimp for the Tips Board. I'm sure you'll be impressed with my credentials. I have never been of any real use to anyone on the rare occasions when I have ventured onto this board and have posted a tip. About once a week or so, I post a request for help in tracing ancestors in London slums who never married, never baptised their children and only appear in occasional censuses before vanishing into the ether. I am always given lots of help and I rarely follow any of it up as it invariably involves getting my arse of the computer chair or spending more money. Lastly - but quite importantly I feel - I start threads and then don't come back for hours or days to respond to replies as I have gone to work/ the pub/ sleep/ my own little dreamworld.

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 1 Aug 2006 13:21

Aha That tells me something,now i can put a face to the name for the 'loiterer' by the revolving door!! (thoughts turn to cunning devious plan involving wet floor,jammed doors and 'accidents' that might befall the intended victim...............i mean poor unfortunate soul)


Unknown Report 1 Aug 2006 13:29

Please don't think of me as a threat Glen - I would be keeping the position for you:)) And I have my own garish underwear already...


Heather Report 1 Aug 2006 14:21

Hmmm., so thats the CV and statement is it David? (raises eyebrows to Merry). Well, people, we are all aware of Glen's shortcomings (if you arent, please send a large A4 SAE and £1.50 of stamps for a list) and although Im not concerned re David's lack of nether region movement from the puter - which in fact is a requirement for tips board, as we all know - the apparent inability to complete what he begins is a worry. We all know Glen finishes what he starts, right down to the individual pieces of camomile on the Vicarage lawn in his scaled down Norfolk village model. I am also slightly concerned (having used my superpower vision) that whereas the word 'lumbering' comes to mind with Glen (as befits a gimp), seeing David running in circles around his home waving his arms in the air with excitement over the prospect of this temporary post is a concern. It was a shock enough to find Glen wandering around general the other night - but he was easily subdued - will there be problems with this younger more exciteable model? And though he has shown aspirations to leave behind his murky past, will he in fact have divided loyalties?? Glen has assured me that his flower arranging abilities, albeit it hampered by the 6 ft ankle chain, have improved greatly during his current nursing stint (which abilities were subject of a first verbal warning some weeks ago). Is there anyone out there prepared to act as a reference for Mr Owen before we submit this to the committee? Please note that this will be a balls in the bag job (not in the Russell Brand sense) as befits a private club such as ours. White and black balls will be provided to each member before the final vote and voting will be kept secret. O.C. (as the poshest person we have) will be I/C balls.

An Olde Crone

An Olde Crone Report 1 Aug 2006 15:22

I hereby state that I solemnly promise to be in charge of subduing Mr Owen, should his excitable tendencies cause us problems. I have a volume of Chaucer, written in early English of course and I am prepared to recite this in Mr Owen's ear (that's EAR, for the shorter-sighted amongst you) in my best droning-on voice. Actually, I think it is rather dangerous to rely on only one Gimp we should really have reserve gimps, gimps-in-waiting, Job Experience gimps etc - Heather, will you phone the Job Centre, or shall I? OC


Unknown Report 1 Aug 2006 17:31

Dear Ms Thinker & Members I can only blame my excitability on my extreme youth. I do hope to have this under control in the near future with a little training and with my referee OC controlling my trembles (although I am a bit partial to Chaucer :s) Please have no concerns over my past associations. I will shake all thoughts of seedy connections to other boards as soon as I've wiped them off my feet in my ambitions to emulate the levels of gimpiness I have heard that Glen has managed to attain. As for my inexperience and lack of success in completing tasks, I can only say - *catches sight of something sparkly and wanders off after it*

Merry Monty

Merry Monty Report 1 Aug 2006 17:58

Ermmm....Exactly how old (or young) is Master Owen???? Merry