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Crisis of confidence. Help needed please?

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


Unknown Report 9 Mar 2006 19:00

I have been doing this for a couple of months now and up until about a week ago I was going great guns. Now I have doubts about a family connection that I can't see a way of proving and I have just received my first wrong birth certificate. I am having a bit of a crisis of confidence. Has anyone else been in this position? I am still desperate to carry on but have lost confidence in myself.


~~♥Suzy♥~ Report 9 Mar 2006 19:05

Marie Post a few details here, and I am sure a few kind souls will help you. You will find a renewed confidence if a brick wall or two is broken down. Good luck. Suzy


KathleenBell Report 9 Mar 2006 19:06

We all order the wrong certificate at some time. The first wrong one I ordered was actually the birth of a cousin of the person I really wanted. This cousin was 10 years older and I hadn't checked the date properly. I knew before it arrived that it was going to be the wrong one. Just go back to where you were with your research before you ordered this certificate and start from there. None of us is perfect. Kath. x


Heather Report 9 Mar 2006 19:06

Hi Marie i'd guess that we all make mistakes from time to time and I don't envy you trying to research the name Smith! Would you like to tell us where you have gone wrong and perhaps someone will try to help. Heather


Fiona Report 9 Mar 2006 19:10

Hi Maria, Only your first wrong certificate?? Nothing wrong in getting a wrong certificate, there is a thread on here with loads of peoples wrong certificate's............see your not the only one!! I know I've had my fair share!! Don't give still new and as time goes on you'll get better at this. When you order a certificate if you know the fathers or mothers name you can request the name as a checking point so they don't send the wrong one, they charge 3 pounds for looking and you might be a little disappointed when they say it's not the right one but better that than a pile of wrong ones. And there's always that buzz you get when you find that ancestor that you've been looking for for the past two've lots to look forward to so keep going.


Unknown Report 9 Mar 2006 19:10

Marie If you've never ordered a wrong cert or followed the wrong branch through the census, then you aren't a serious genealogist! Remember, people who never make mistakes never make anything. Chin up! Nell

Right said Fred

Right said Fred Report 9 Mar 2006 19:13

I've just realised that a whole line of my tree appears to be wrong, at least i get the fun of doing it all over again! If i don;t laugh, i'll cry!


Unknown Report 9 Mar 2006 19:25

Actually it's not the Smiths who are the problem!!!!! I have posted this before but didn't resolve it. My problem is with the Herberts. I know I have Florence Eliza my Great Grandmother in 1901 with her husband George Charles Smith and two kids. That is definate. I know that I have her father as John Keylock Herbert. The name Keylock is known as a family name and it is on his birth details. What I can't connect is Florence Eliza 100% with father John Keylock Herbert pre marriage. I have a birth certificate which could be Florence Elizas and it states her father as John Herbert occupation cab driver which would fit as her marriage cert states fathers occupation as coachman. On her marriage certificate he has used full name John Keylock Herbert but not used middle name on her birth cert. (if it is her birth certificate) Someone sent me a gedcom with who I believed was my Florence Eliza on it but it was with a different set of parents (same first and surnames different places of birth dates of birth etc). Like I said I don't trust myself to carry on as I can't think of any other way to link them definately. The wrong certificate is just a case of have to have another go. The surname is Mowbray and this was the most likely one. Her father on wedding cert was Thomas Mowbray and on this certificate he was John so not looking likely to be my relative. Sorry to go on but I just feel a bit flattened. It's nice to know I am not alone. Thank you all for taking the time to help with your replies : ) xx Ps Tom you poor thing. I do feel for you.


Heather Report 9 Mar 2006 19:33

I felt like this a couple of weeks back, felt I had dead ends all round and what more could I do. But it did pass, go back to your tree and go through every person on there that could have a birth, death or marriage cert which may help you and make a decision on which to buy. I am now getting info from all over the place and added a couple of distant cousins from GR just this week. If Florence is getting you down, dump her for a while and then go back to her. If the name of the dad is right on the cert and the job - what about the address where she is living when she marries? Can you tie that in to him in any way. AND what about this person who sent you info - have they given you proof THEY are right. As some of you know I had a real twerp this week with all my tree back to 1735 - he had just lifted it all from my home page. When I queried him he reckoned he was connected through my GGFx2's daughter - 'who married my GGF in 1850' - ERM, that girl was 6 months old in 1850! Turns out he hadnt bought one cert in his life ('I have tried to keep this hobby to zero expense, I have other interests') Well he certainly got my interest - I hope he is still smarting. So dont always think you are the one who has got it wrong. But leave that bit of the tree and go back and look at the other possible info you can glean and buy certs for or look up on census. It will pass and you will get more info and just the same old buzz back soon.


Unknown Report 9 Mar 2006 19:46

Thanks Heather. I had dumped poor old Florence, much as I love her and headed towards the Mowbrays!!!! Hence the wrong certificate. You are right though, I knew it wouldn't be easy and I was up for a challenge so I know deep down I won't stop as the buzz of finding a relative is unlike anything else. I can honestly say that in the main I have really enjoyed this but I just don't want to make a huge mistake so early in my tree and I've lost my nerve. The Florence whose birth certificate I have lived pretty much within streets of her future husband George in all the census's I have looked on. Do you think this would have a bearing though considering how common the name Florence was and that there were a fair few living in London at the time? Thanks again Heather xx Ps I am glad you gave that idiot a piece of your mind. What a cheek!!!!


Heather Report 9 Mar 2006 19:48

Leave her and the Mowbrays - they will sort themselves out one day in the future, go and look at all the loose ends on your tree and work on some of those. I am amazed how many loose ends I had left - tons of people who poor sods didnt even have a date of death and lots of siblings who had no spouses listed. Have a go at finding that info which will give you confidence again before getting to grips with the stuff you are currently flummoxed by.


Unknown Report 9 Mar 2006 19:53

I will do that Heather. Thank you. My other great grandmother has sisters and brothers that are calling me too so I suppose I should let them have their say. Florence was my favourite rellie and I miss her!!! Does that sound silly? But she is driving me nuts so I will return her to her file for a while until she knows how to behave!!!!!!


Heather Report 9 Mar 2006 20:08

Perhaps shes got a bit cocky knowing she is favourite, give the others some attention and let her gag to get back in your good books.

Janet in Yorkshire

Janet in Yorkshire Report 9 Mar 2006 20:20

Marie, You are never really stuck until you've reached absolute stale mate with everybody on your extended tree. Put her aside for a bit - eventually new ideas about her will pop into your head, even if it's a question of eliminating a reference, that is still a step forward, if you see what I mean! Jay


Unknown Report 9 Mar 2006 20:24

Heather you have just cracked me up!!! Thank you jay. Good advice. xx : )


Emma Report 9 Mar 2006 20:51

Can we help with Florence Eliza? Maybe find her with her father on a census or something? Emma


Rachel Report 9 Mar 2006 21:17

How about checking her off against her mother in the census. I'm not sure what time period it is that you're talking about but hopefully you can track her through the different census with the right father & mother. I might have got the wrong end of the stick though!


Unknown Report 9 Mar 2006 21:26

Hi Emma. Thanks for the offer. I would love a bit of clarity but I don't think there is any one definative thing look up wise that can help. However I would never discount a new pair of eyes and a different opinion!!!!! John Herbert (with the Keylock crossed out on the form) is on the 1851 census with his mother ann and father daniel herbert living in Lambeth. John Keylock was 3 months old. Florence Eliza is a definate on the 1901 census married to George B Smith a printer operator living with two daughters May and Florence in Walworth Newington London. My belief was always that these two were connected in other census 's the most comprehensive one being the one before Florence's marriage 1891 where John and wife Eliza Herbert were living in Newinton and John is a cab driver/groom with children George, Florence, Kate,John,Frances and Lizzie. I just can't find a way to definately connect the two of them together. If you can help I will be so so grateful Thanks for taking the time to reply xx


Emma Report 9 Mar 2006 21:52

Hi Marie When was she born approximately? From the age on her marriage certificate or the 1901 census I guess, rather than the birth certificate if you're not sure that's it's definitely hers. Don't know that I can be too much help, I only have accesss to the free 1881 census on Ancestry (my credits ran out) but I always like to try to help. Know what it's like to come up against a brick wall. I had found this for 1881 but I don't know that it can be right, John's profession is a railway inspector. Eliza Herbert abt 1851 Marylebone, Middlesex, England Wife 2 Francis Ter, Islington, London, England >>Florence Herbert abt 1880 Islington, Middlesex, England Daughter 2 Francis Ter, Islington, London, England John Herbert abt 1848 Blockley, Worcestershire, England Head 2 Francis Ter, Islington, London, England John W. Herbert abt 1877 St Pancras, Middlesex, England Son 2 Francis Ter, Islington, London, England L.Or S. Herbert abt 1880 Islington, Middlesex, England Daughter 2 Francis Ter, Islington, London, England Emma


KathleenBell Report 9 Mar 2006 21:57

Florence E. Smith is 25 on the 1901 census and birthplace is given as Kennington. Kath. x