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adoption/hints and hugs from other adoptees*Chapte

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Loopy

Loopy Report 2 May 2006 04:47

Hi Glen, Good luck for your job interview ! Gee I bet you spent quite a bit of time looking at the picture of BM and wishing it would speak, I know I did when I got mine. Have you heard from your BC again since the phone call ? And more rellies found are you going to contact them ? Yes buckle up, your on the roller coaster again The next big question will be whether you will ride the roller coaster with the tinsel knickers on, they could be a tad itchy !!!! LOL Seeya Mel

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 1 May 2006 22:44

Hi everyone New name,new image and a heck of a shock. Completely out of the blue i had an e-mail from half bro this evening,with an attachment.First message since early February,and comes with a picture of my bm. The piccy was taken about a year after i was born,so it seems even more like her,the woman as she was,at the time.(you all know what i mean) Also had a result this week finding two more living rellies,one in his nineties (an uncle) and one in her thirties (a niece) Seatbelt securely fastened and holding on tight,here we go again. Oh and a job interview tomorrow,(tuesday). Wish me luck Glen

Loopy

Loopy Report 1 May 2006 12:09

Nudge

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 28 Apr 2006 10:44

It all started in another thread about the 1841 census,blame Heather Positive Thinker. I think she has some other plans for me now though. Glen

Ann

Ann Report 28 Apr 2006 10:20

Hi all Glen Well my imagination is going on overtime. Do they tickle your .........um ....bottom. lol But i dont get the turnips. yuk turnips. Annxx..... and it did make me laugh

Loopy

Loopy Report 27 Apr 2006 21:28

Hi Glen, I just love it LOL Mel

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 27 Apr 2006 15:28

Hi Ann Whaddya think of me tinsel then?LOL Glen

Ann

Ann Report 27 Apr 2006 13:58

Hi all Mel the Impatient 1.......just love the new name You might just have to be satisfied with contact from bs and bc. Your bm must have a busy life at the moment. Or she might still have some guilt issues. Either way enjoy your other emails with the other 2 and dont worry to much about her. She will be in contact again one day. And if not thats her loss. But dont close the door just yet..... it hasnt been that long. Try to be patient....haha Annxx

Loopy

Loopy Report 27 Apr 2006 05:34

Hi Everyone, While looking through a paper today I came across my stars, when I read them I found them quite amusing and thought I would share them; 'They say that good things come to those who wait. What they don't say is how good these things will be,or how long we will have to wait. Are they trying to hide something? Might the whole thing be a ploy to to lull us into a false sense of security, while they rush out and get those good things for themselves? Prehaps you should question your decision to pospone a key plan. Why must it be put of.' I do not think this should be just be my weekly stars, I think it should be my life one. And after that I will email BM one more time and see how we go and if I don't get a reponse, well her loss not mine. For now I am over it Melisa

John

John Report 25 Apr 2006 15:35

Thanks Angie, I have decided i'm definitely going to write now, I agree with keeping it short and sweet, when we contacted my mum's uncle a couple of years ago by letter that was just a very short letter, straight to the point, and we got a fairly quick reply as well.

Bacardi

Bacardi Report 25 Apr 2006 15:21

hi john i think your letter sounds good,i second what glen says when i wrote a letter to find my brothers all i put was that i was looking for xxxxxxxx there 3 names and put my email address and mobile number on the 3rd fone call i had found all 3 in a month short and sweet sounds good doesnt put to much pressure on the person lots of luck angie x

John

John Report 25 Apr 2006 15:11

Thanks Glen, I see what you mean about mentioning the electoral registers, will have a good think today.

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 25 Apr 2006 14:57

Hi John Keeping it short is a good idea,i would tend to avoid mentioning too much about electoral registers,it could make you sound a little too much like a stalker.Sometimes people find it scary and possibly underhand or devious. I think that although it is important for your mum and yourself to know more,you could perhaps say that your mum ' would dearly love to know more '(it puts a little less pressure on someone) Just a few thoughts,and i don't claim to be any wiser than anyone else here,i will leave it for others to comment as they feel they need to. Glen

John

John Report 25 Apr 2006 13:57

Thanks for the replies everyone. I've got a bit of an idea of what to write, i'll post it here, can you let me know what you think? Thanks Dear xxxx, I'm writing to you, as I've been helping mum research the family tree, mum was born as xxxxxxxxx xxx xxxxxxx in xxxxxxxxx on the xx xxxx xxxx, but was later adopted. We went to visit xxxxx relations in xxxxxxxx probably about 20 years ago now, they told us that there were relations in the xxxxxxxxx area, and over the past few years i've been searching through electoral registers and phone books and contacting others with the xxxxx surname in the xxxxxxxxx area. I hope you don't mind me writing, but as you can imagine, it's quite important for mum to learn more about her family. When we were in xxxxxxxx, we visited xxxxxx and xxxxx who lived in the xxxxxxx area, xxxxxx has a brother called xxxxx, who we were told lives in the xxxxxxxxx area, and we wondered if you might be any relation, if so, would be great to hear back from you. Thanks for taking the time to read this letter. Best wishes John. What do you think?

Loopy

Loopy Report 25 Apr 2006 13:23

Yes Glen, I would second that. My relationship is on the up and up with my cousin, but with BM who knows have not heard from her in quite a few weeks. Mel

Bacardi

Bacardi Report 25 Apr 2006 12:48

bumped up for mandi angie x

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 25 Apr 2006 12:06

Hi John I would also urge a little caution with how you word a letter,but as the blood tie is not as close as a mother and child,perhaps it may be a little easier,my own experience (for what it's worth) has been far better with slightly more distant relatives than closer ones. Glen

Bacardi

Bacardi Report 25 Apr 2006 11:31

hi john id write him a letter at least if you dont get a response you would know that he isnt interested,as mel said choose your words carefully,let us know how you get on on,best of luck angie x

Loopy

Loopy Report 25 Apr 2006 11:06

Hi John, If you would really like contact with him, well yes I would write, after all what can you lose. You may want to word it carefully though just in case he does not know of your mothers existence. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Mel

John

John Report 24 Apr 2006 18:58

Hi all, i've just seen this thread, over 300 messages, wow! Anyway, I wanted to add to the thread, as my mum's adopted, I got interested in doing the family tree about 5/6 years ago now, and we have thousands of names in the tree now, which is good. Mum's got 3 half brothers, 1 of them is listed at Genes Reunited under their birth name (he was adopted as well), I tried messaging them back in 2004, but didn't get any reply, I thought they might have changed their email adress in between listing themself and me messaging, we were so excited to have found his name on the site as well, but never mind. We went to visit another of mum's half brothers probably about 20 years ago now, he was a very down to earth fella, and made us feel welcome, and mum's birth father came to stay with us in the late 1980s for a couple of nights, but he had his own family, and I think it was difficult for him. Anyway, a couple of days ago, I thought i'd do a search through the electoral registers, and I came across the address for a birth cousin, I found the address for mum's half brother in past electoral registers but not the current one, he'd be a similar age to me (I should say that's my cousin, not mum's half brother), about 31/32 and i'm just wondering whether to write to him or not really, I keep thinking that he probably won't be that interested, as not a lot of people my age I know are very interested in their family trees, and his dad I don't think even knows my mum exists. What do people here think? Should I write? All the best John