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adoption/hints and hugs from other adoptees*Chapte

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 9 Feb 2006 22:01

Who would have guessed this topic would stay with us so long, or make such interesting reading? As you may have guessed there are 3 previous chapters to this one, all sharing the experiences of being adopted. It is quite a strange feeling when you think it i just you, so its good to share. please come in , all are welcome

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 9 Feb 2006 22:08

just to catch up with the others

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 10 Feb 2006 06:45

thw last few replies from chapter 3, for continuity.. nudging for adoptees...and anyone else! everyone welcome, its not an exclusive club!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Added by Bev Taylor on 08/02/2006 21:34:50 Sorry Jess, I didn't answer your question, the social worker did say that there would be a charge but she is sending me literature through the post. Bev ------ Added by Bev Taylor on 08/02/2006 21:27:37 Evening all, just before Christmas and from talking to my Mum, I was able to find a social woker who had access to my adopted sisters files. I gave her marriage and birth certificates to prove my relationship with the adoptee and as we weren't living in the same area, she contacted a social worker on my behalf of my local council. Yesterday, I called to social worker of my local council and she was able to advise me that the case had already been referred to an assigned agency who were professionals at working on adoption cases and would be able to provide us with pre-counselling. She said that the agency would contact her to see if she wanted contact with us and then they would liase for us. Fingers crossed, I do know that she had never sought access to her file so she may not even know that we exist, do you think that it is likely that she would know that she was adopted? She would be about 36 now, I am not sure where she would be living but I do have her birth name and what court dealt with the adoption. I have added her name to my tree so she would be able to do a search on this website. I will keep you all posted! Bev ----- Added by Sheila Molyneux on 08/02/2006 18:42:29 Hi Jess, Glad to see your back on board:O) hope all' well with you, sorry I do not reply before been out for the day, Bev, Will the Social Worker recommend that they trace <our sister themselves, and will they charge you? I am also curious when our adoption agency offered to help us no charge was metioned however, I have heard talk of them charging a fee now. Catherine Your sisters name would be registered under he birth name (if your mothers was single her Maiden name) you could still try contacting Social Services to see if they can trace which agency handled the adotpion and see if they would be prepared to help at all. and the very least leave a letter with her file telling her you would welcome contact with her. also try posting messages on the followign sites. www.myfolks(.)com www.lookupuk(.)com www.missing-you(.net) Glen, Glad to see things worked out Ok for you in work, you drive safely and catch up with us all at the weekend. Sheila ---- Added by Melisa Bain on 08/02/2006 13:12:35 Hi Jess Ahhhh yes, excellent wording thanks for that ! Cya Melisa : ) ---- Added By Jess bow bag Bobbin Dog on 08/02/2006 13:05:24 | Update Message | Delete Message is it a name on here? I'd say something like... I am searching out some ancestry and have come across a name which may interlink our trees. the name i have come across is (blah Blah) born 19.... who had connections with the town of (so-and-so) in the early (or whatever) 1960's (or when ever it was). Then put.... I believe she originated from (whereever) if you know, and then anything else you know,keping it simply to facts. finish politely by saying that you hope they 'll find a moment or two to message you back. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have a half birth brother that appears on here , when i message the poster with a similar thing I did get a reply ''he married a cousin of mine in 1989, sorry i know nothing about him'' well, at least i gleaned the fact that he was married. its all building brick, that help you build up a picture without giving too much away. Any help at all? Jess x ---- Added by Melisa Bain on 08/02/2006 12:48:14 Hi Jess Do you think I could ask if such in such was in the area in 19** and just leave it a that. What do you think ? ------ Added By Jess bow bag Bobbin Dog on 08/02/2006 12:07:44 | Update Message | Delete Message melissa - carefully!! i guess the wording depend on how much you know about her, whatever you do, make sure you word it so that it wont lead anyone to guess, just in case its a secret ----- Added by Melisa Bain on 08/02/2006 12:05:09 Hi All I am very new to this and being born and adopted in the U.K. and living in Oz for the last 30 years, I may need a bit of help, so here is one more question ! If by chance there is a name on a family tree that is the same as your B/M and year of birth, how do word a message you would send to them being very mindful that know one may know about you? Thanks and Cya from Oz ------- Added By Jess bow bag Bobbin Dog on 08/02/2006 06:57:32 | Update Message | Delete Message Melissa - was going to say, Sheila is 'your man'- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Porkies Have you ever met a compulsive liar? I knew a girl who at the age of 25 had pursued the following professions: Nurse, Air Force pilot, Professional Ballet Dancer, Opera singer, Chef. lol, unfortunately for her 2 of my family members have careers in two of the above. So she dug herself a huge embarrasing hole which she could not get out of.

Eileen

Eileen Report 11 Feb 2006 00:25

glad to see the new chapter - have been trying to keep the other thread that Jess started, with 'adoptees who can be open about their birth dates' near the top, but there is so much on it keeps sliding down. good luck everyone and especially you Jennifer Ann, born 22nd September 1945, in Woking Surrey, birth mother's initials M. E. and her home address Bisley. You are my sister, get in touch, lots of info. no pressure. Eileen

Loopy

Loopy Report 11 Feb 2006 10:12

Hi Everyone This is a bit of a silly question, though it does make me smile when I think about it. Do you think being adopted makes you a hoarder ? I crave to make family history for my little ones therefore hardly throwing anything out that could be looked at later in life and going aahhh LOL Sorry just wanted to check if my excuse was shared by others Melisa

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 11 Feb 2006 10:50

Melissa - NO!! That is just an excuse, if it works for you though , you carry on! Jess , who hoards too!

Loopy

Loopy Report 11 Feb 2006 11:15

Hi All After spending the last 3 nights reading Chapter 1,2 & 3 I relize that I am not alone in the things I feel about being adopted and have never really bared my soul to anyone in the last 36 years about the way I feel. So if it is O.K with you guys I might start maybe not everything tonight (10.00pm in Oz ) but little by little I will open up.My husband is great but not being adopted he is there to listen but does not really understand. There was a name on GR that matched my B/M name and year of birth so I emailed her with a short note as Jess recommened and she replied with can you give me more info, not trying to get my hopes up I do not know what to say? Should I ask her if she met someone called my First and middle birth name no surname if it is not here she may think nothing of it. Sorry to babble once I start I find it a little hard to stop Cya Melisa

Sandra

Sandra Report 11 Feb 2006 11:18

Still searching for my natural mum Elizabeth Born Doreen Blair in the Tor nursing Home in Edinburgh on 10th December 1960 Sandrax

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 11 Feb 2006 11:23

Hi All, Back for a short weekend,trucking marvellous eh? Glad to see Chapter 4 well under way,just posting so i can find it next time, Hugs to all Glen xxx

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 11 Feb 2006 12:05

Just been back to the adoption search reunion site to check if the update has been carried out and i spotted this, Any blood relative of the adopted person may apply for intermediary help in trying to find an adopted relative. A blood relative is a person related through blood or marriage to the adopted person.Half blood relatives also qualify. The intermediary service provider MAY make a charge,due to the timescale involved these charges may be 'quite considerable'. It advises comparing several providers to obtain the best price(?). For people on low income assistance may be availabe,this may also apply to people with disabilities. I think the full update is due at the end of the month. www(.)adoptionsearchreunion(.)org remove brackets Glen

Loopy

Loopy Report 11 Feb 2006 23:10

Hi Thanks Liz, I have just sent it and trying not to get my hopes up, so now I will just wait . Cya Melisa

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 11 Feb 2006 23:18

This is the hard bit melissa!-the wait. Hopefully the info you have sent back will lead her one way or another, dont think i'd have put it quite the way you did, but, hey, who knows? Strange feeling this 'being adopted'. when i started this thread i felt the very same- almost unique.Now i know i am not. I do hope the reply you get is what you want to hear and that the outcome is good. tell us how it goes- even if you come on here and scream because you have heard nothing! we do understand! Jess xx

Loopy

Loopy Report 11 Feb 2006 23:29

Hi Jess I think you are right -the wait is worst than the not knowing ! I have always had a bit of the foot in mouth problem, right first then left later. Maybe it genetic. Cya Melisa

Eileen

Eileen Report 12 Feb 2006 00:45

Hi Melissa, from one hoarder to another. I hoard just about everything. I have all my childrens' toys - two separate lots from boys now 37 and 38, and girls and boy, now 27, 24, and 23. (two marriages) and a lot of their baby clothes. I have most of my own toys, I have toys from 1910ish that were from my adopted parents who are both now deceased. I have school exercise books, bits of material from favourite dresses, all manner of stuff. I want to have a museum of 20th century childhood as it is all I can think of to justify all this hoarding. Thats not counting bits of favourite wallpaper from past houses, knitting and sewing patterns from the forties and fifties - I don't knit, and don't often sew. The list goes on and on. Yes I think being adopted can have this effect on one - hanging on to things is a sort of security blanket gone mad. Things don't go away and leave you. I think you can, for my generation, also add the experience of seeing parents save anything that would come in useful as they had just been through the war and a) it was a necessary habit, and b) you could not get much new anyway. I was born in 1944 and can remember rationing for some things that went on into the 1950s. Now I save things as it is called 'recycling' If we all did it there would not be so much stuff cluttering up the countryside and landfill sites. We don't need all this plastic stuff. We should not make anything out of stuff that will not break down naturally like wood, iron, natural fibres. Thats just my little soap box. Anyway a lot of hoarded stuff is very interesting and gives our children a window onto how things were. Good luck with the search - I am still searching for my full sister adopted separately - birth name -Jennifer Ann dob -22nd September 1945 place of birth - Woking, Surrey Mother's Christian name initials M. E. Mother's address- Bisley Best wishes Eileen birth name

Dorothy

Dorothy Report 12 Feb 2006 01:07

hello jess glad to seeyou have number 4 going on I think that it is a great thread for all us adopted folks, I am still having trouble believing at times that I am adopted as for 62yrs I wasent as far as I knew, my biggest passion has been doing the family tree for me and the family I thought i came from, I have traced this new family back quite a ways but it is like researching somethinf for a friend they don't have any meaning for me. I have had several nice phone calls from the brother in scotland but it feels surreal to me at times. I suppose that it will take time to come to terms with it all if ever, good days and bad days some days I think that I just want to forget about the whole thing , I am glad that you are back on line and hope that you are well your threads serve a good purpose take care regards dorothy canada

Sandra

Sandra Report 12 Feb 2006 15:54

nudge

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 12 Feb 2006 21:11

This is the lasteed 'chatering thread ' for adoptees, besides threads you wish to start yourself, of course. probably easier to post here rather than earlier threads, else we'll be here there and everywhere!! Jess x

*~*Beve

*~*Beve Report 12 Feb 2006 21:51

Hi all, Haven't been on for quite a while so thought i'd upate you all. Have finally had my 'social worker 'interview me and have been given the details to get my birth cert and court records of my adoption. The ironic thing is I searched through BDM on Ancestry and managed to trace my sisters birth in 1961 then went through the births for march 1963 (me) and found matching details for mothers maiden name. Not sure what i'm going to do with the info yet and have another meeting with social worker in early march to collect copies of court records. Just to say best of luck to everyone looking for B/P's. Beve

Bacardi

Bacardi Report 12 Feb 2006 22:41

hi all nice to see this thread exstened just a quick question are we allowed to apply for our court records and how do i go about this my adoption was in b,ham and i now live in wales and what sort of info will i recieve from the case hugs angie x

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 12 Feb 2006 22:45

beve- take your time and digest what you learn. depends what is there as to what you dcide to do with the info. it will seem like an eternity until that next meeting! have you traced the sister? I have m and she is my very VERY best friend now, we are like two peas in a pod!!(not looks wise but in manner and thought) hope your file bears fruit Jess x