Genealogy Chat

Hi Ann, Have you heard anything from BM at all or is she still suffering from Alzheimer's. And now for some dull normal talk lol, gee it was cold in your part of OZ today, I really do not like the cold at all. I do not know why they do not put something good on t.v. on Friday nights, we can not be the only ones at home - CAN WE AAAARRR. Melisa

Sending my Kleenex your way Glen.

Hi Mel Yes its been a very cold day. Scary movie 2 is on prime if your desperate.lol No more on that BF subject.....BU is sending photo's soon. Will just have to wait.....hmmm wait...hate that word. Annxx

Hi Glen, Ohh I must say that wallpapering sounds fun !! but no good for me, I change my mind about the colours to often, and it's a little hard to get it of for my liking LOL Let us know how you go in Lincoln, we will be thinking of you. Mel

Hi Ann, Are they real words - wait and patience. I did not make them up nor know the meaning of them, and I will not be listed under them in the dictionary. LOL Sorry I am not desperate enough to watch Scary Movie 2, I would rather iron. Melisa

Hey mel Not ironing.....Please...hate ironing. Annxx Did you hear from your BS, does she know something different or not.

Glen - small old word Eh? I went to college (x years ago!) and it transpired , i discovered some years, later that i got off the bus the other end, at the end of the road where my birth mother was still living! I went half way across Hertfordshire to college , because we got the bus fares re-imbursed in those days if we stayed 'in county'- the nearest college that did my course was just across the county border in Bucks, and mum and dad REALLY wanted me to study there but really couldnt afford the bus fares(nor could i)...now i know why! jess x

Hi Ann, I hate ironing to but it is better than the movie, just. I have heard from my BS and she knows the same story, she just worded it that way because she did not know if I knew. And just wanted to make sure what BM had told me about it. What do ya say !! To many emotions for nothing !! Anyway of to bed now, night Melisa

Mel Oh....thought she might have known different story Are you the only Adoptee in your BM's family. Annxx

Hi Ann, OOhh 1 more then I must go to bed. I am the only adoptee in that family, when my BM becoming pregnant from that, it really took it's toll on the family, as my BGM had a stroke from it all and died shortly after, leaving my BM to raise her 6 younger siblings. BM was one of 10. Needless to say other than the inital first couple of emails I have heard nothing from BM since, that was about 3 weeks ago. I have contacted BA who has done quite a large tree and has now added my name to it, I do not mind and quite like the look of it there, but on the other side when I look at it it's just a name. Do I really belong there, that is the burning question. Off to bed this time Mel

Goodnight all, Annxx

Hi Mel, Do yourself a big favour try not to over analyse everything, it will wear yo, out; I think that this is the adoptees biggest mistake, trying to read between the lines on everything we hear. Your BS did know the story then, at least you have that cleared up, now just try to take things as they come if you start doubting everything you have already been told youwill drive yourself crazy, and the search in itself is enough to do that ;O) Ann Sorry that you have not had the fairy tale ending that you hoped for, but in reality how many of us do, most of us have issues to face during this search. That 's why I would urge anyone who does this to be 100% sure they want to proceed, it's alright well meaning people telling you to jump straight in and make contact, but your the one who has to pick up the pieces. I do not regret doing my search and have gained a lot, but at a price, but you have to get over it and get one with things, and as you say you realise in a lot of cases how lucky you where to have wondrul adoptive parents. Eileen Hope the move is going ok, amazing what you find when you start going through the house. Glen Enjoy your visit ! Bye for now Sheila

Dear all, As an adoptive parent I just want to say that I look in now and then and have greatly benefited from reading your experiences. I think I am better prepared to help the young adults in my household having been able to read your experiences. They are not quite at the stage of actively searching for their birth families but one of them might benefit from reading this thread soon so thank you for your sensible advice and caring help to each other. You all sound lovely people and I wish you all the happiness in the world. I hope you all know how much we love and cherish you.

Quick nudge - Thanks Sheila Move now so close am resorting to g & t, and am currently supposed to be sorting garden magazines (about ten years worth) It is also our wedding anniv. today 29th, so should be cossetting hubbie, who was actually watching footie.

Hi Again 'Happy Anniversary' ...... to you and hubby Eileen, reckon after 29 years he derserves a bit of pampering, so both go and put your feet up , the packing can wait till tomorrow :O) Reckon you will have to get brutal with the sorting out now though, I can talk must be one of the worlds worst hoarders, but at this rate you will be ordering another removal van, so guess the magazines will have to go, mind you there could be a couple of useful articles in there to help you with you new garden ;O) (see I am not much of a help am I ? Enjoy the rest of your special day. Sheila

Hi Everyone, To Eileen Happy Anniversary to you and your hubby. I agree with you Sheila, if you are unsure about contacting someone in your birth family, then you are probably not ready, wait until you are. I think you know when you are though as nothing stops you and you will probably have no regrets. I know I do not. On a lighter note I once read an article in one of my mags about people who where adopted and most of them are hoarders. I remember it because I kept it so show my hubby, as if to say see it's not my fault. Hope this makes us hoarders feel better, after all it's just one of the circumstances of being adopted. LOL Melisa

Hi everyone Just thought you might like a quick tale of my misfortune today. The carpet fitter turned up in a rush to finish in time for a wedding.He walloped a freshly stained and varnished skirting board,anyhow he fitted the carpet and i succesfully 'repaired' the damage and you can't see where. All safely done without problems,then as i'm packing away the cat decides to run in front of me,tripping me up. Result 1/2 a tin of varnish (with the lid on) hits the floor,pops the lid off and falls open end down..........on the new carpet. Anyone want a shiny varnished cat,free and gratis? Glen

nudged for nattering , but it fine to do it else where if you are more comfy with that jess

My nephew came out with a real cracker today - just showing how difficult adoption issues are for the very young. My brother has two kiddies 9 and nearly 7. Some time ago My dear mother blurted out ( with dementia) That she and my dad were not young Georges 'REAL' nanny and grandad! At the time young Georgie looked very confused and of course asked ''well, who is?''.There is no answer to this as my brother has no desire to 'know' who he was at all. Today the little fellow raises the subject again , looks at my partner and says ''Uncle Alan YOU are my REAL Grandad, arent you?''. Alan gave him a big hug and just smiled, as did my brother, really didnt know WHAT to say. There is no answer for the little fellow! Jess x

Jess, thats really such a sad story. My late (adoptive) mother had dementia too - you just never know what is going through their minds. Not long before she died, my mother told me she knew I had a full sister, but that they decided to only have one child - me - so they could afford to do more for it. Up 'til then she had never ever mentioned that I had a sister. I did know by then as I had found out when I was in my twenties, but I had never told her. My four year old grandson is already well into who is related to who in our rather complicated family. The distinction he makes relies on who came out of whose tummy. He knows that he came out of Mama's tummy, our older daughter, and that his Dadda put him there. He knows that Dadda did not put him in Aunty's tummy (our younger daughter)who is now with Dadda and thus is both Aunty and step-mother - told you it was complicated. Removal men coming tomorrow - no that is now today - to pack and load. Will one day be enough? I doubt it with all my hoarding. Have to unplug the computor soon, and won't get back on again until the weekend, that is if we find the right box by then. Hugs to everyone, missing you already! Eileen