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adoption/hints and hugs from other adoptees*Chapte

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Sheila

Sheila Report 18 Mar 2006 22:27

Just remembered another site, www.webdetective.com will give you some links to other sites. has she put a message on for you on her web site ? if she is looking for you try www.missing-you.net this is free, and some of our family have used it from Canada for an adoptee. What is the site she is on that it is so expensive to join ? Sheila

Sandra

Sandra Report 18 Mar 2006 22:36

thanks Sheila but i dont know my half sisters married name but at least i know my mum is still alive. I feel my credit card is going to have to take the weight of this. I found it by accident on my trees .com Thanks again Sandra Hope your well

Ann

Ann Report 18 Mar 2006 22:44

Hi everyone Sheila Yes I did send her the BC and a page of Adoption consent and the Homes papers as well. Do you think that should jog her memory........Hope so. I have had 3 children also and for the life of me cant forget having all 3 experiences .But I suppose they were a joy to have not something to have and give away. I'll just have to wait and see..And you know I hate waiting.......lol Annxx

Sandra

Sandra Report 18 Mar 2006 22:46

Sheila my half sister lives in the usa and has put her /our family tree on my trees .com i dont know if she knows about me but it has given me hope as my mum is still alive which means alot to me . will need to make a move but not sure how to go about it. Why does it have to be so difficult? Sx

Sheila

Sheila Report 18 Mar 2006 23:16

Hi Ann, You should move here to Germany they like everything in triplicate ;O) Reckon that lot of evidance would even convince a lawyer, dont think she has forgotten as your birth was a bad experience necessarily, but they were told in the 1960's to go away and forget about us (think she may have took this point too literally tho :O( Seriously though,they never thought they would have contact with us again, and where told it was for the best for everyone to go away and put us out of their minds, it could be the way she coped convincing herself that it was not real, or she may need to be sure that you are who you say you are. Anyway you have waited 42 years whats another week or two ;O) By the way how are things with BS and BA going ?guess they haven't asked for evidance of who you are, apart from the paperwork we cant really show anything, I mean a picture from then and now wouldn't work, although I still have the same round face and double chin, do you reckon that counts ? Don't forget patience is a virtue, and now you have to play waiting game ;O) Hope she get back to you soon. Take Care for now Sheila

Sandra

Sandra Report 18 Mar 2006 23:51

Thanks Sheila Sent Judy a message; fingers crossed she can help Sandrax

Ann

Ann Report 19 Mar 2006 22:49

Hi everyone Sheila Yep I know, I have to play the waiting game. Talking of Germany ,my in-laws come from Germany and all their family still live in Germany. lol Heard from BS last week so things are ok. What is BA silly old me cant remember???? Got email from BUncle and he cant read one page so I have to type it out for him....Some of the stuff they couldnt read anyway and have ???? on it. Annxx

Sheila

Sheila Report 19 Mar 2006 23:22

Hi Ann, Glad to see that your sister has been in touch, still taking things slow then ? by the way how many of you are there ? have just the 2 of you traced BM so far. So you have family in Germany heh, small world, :O) hope they haven#t had the same amount of snow as us, though its picking up now. BA is birth Aunt, didn't you say one time you where in touch with her, and she was thinking of coming to Australia to see you ? is this BF's ( birth Uncle's wife?) If she is the sister to BM then maybe she can fill in some of the gaps for you, seems wierd having to put BS, BM, BA etc, but this is the only way of clarifying things as it gets quite complicated, especially when there are more than one sibling involved. Hope you hear back soon from BM, I know we both know in theory that it's a waiiting game, but in practise its another thing. Funny remember you saying about your BS, one minute your cautious about rushing things, then next you worry if she has not been in touch for a few days in case she is cooling of, guess its mixed emotions for everone involved heh :O) Take Care for now all Sheila

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 19 Mar 2006 23:28

sorry i need to smile and this thread has made me do that right now! we use these abbreviations and assume each other knows what we mean , although they have just happened, no official meaning to any of them. B/M = birth mother B/F = birth father B/sister= birth sister B/Bro = birth brother B/Sib = birth Sibling what made me laugh ( or smile) although it is NOTHING personal is, a reply or two ago , ref to a birth uncle, abbrevaited in the same way, with a finger - left - on - caps slip. i have found lots of birth rellies , but never a BUncle!! thank you for making me smile! jess

Sheila

Sheila Report 19 Mar 2006 23:40

Hi Jess BUncle isn't that something on the side of your foot ;O) oops thats carbuncle or is that a BU who sells cars ? Yes guess we forget a we have been on theother three threads its not obvious to the other, forgot to mention BG - birth grandmother BGM - birth grandmother BA-- birth Aunt BU- birth uncle :O) BC- birth cousins think thats it unless your into genology then its gets to GBG; GBGM etc etc ;O) Glad to see you happy now Jess, don't the let them get your down. Sheila

Ann

Ann Report 20 Mar 2006 00:09

HEY U 2 STOP LAUGHING AT ME I DID THINK IT WAS AUNT......... BUT HAD TO ASK COULDNT REMEMBER.....MUST BE THE AGE.LOL I forgot I told you that BA is coming over. Dont think she would know anything BM had lots of secrets. No Sheila, in contact with BU. She doesnt have email. She had given me her address and phone number but have not had the courage to ring her. Annxxx

Dorothy

Dorothy Report 20 Mar 2006 16:55

HI JESS and friends I have not been on line for a couple of weeks getting the house in shape to sell doing some downsizing, so I have missed this news about new adoption legislation, as I did not find out I was adopted till I was 62 I think I have a somewhat different view now on the whole thing, I wish I had been told i had the best parents one could have but would have loved to have been able to plan ahead for some rather major health problems that were in my BM family on the maternal side. and have impacted on meand my son and family, I suppose better late than never does apply my new brother has been able to fill me in, but as we have no idea who my father was one does wonder what that side might have had hidden away. We have been trying to see if any of the BM friends who are alive will try and fill in some blanks but no luck as yet. I wish you all well with your searches things do have a way of working out, my brother and i are building a good friendship and I hope to meet him next year that will be my 65th birthday present to my self a trip over the pond to scotland bye for now dorothy

Ann

Ann Report 21 Mar 2006 00:13

To Dorothy Enjoy your trip to Scotland, have a bonny good time.lol Hi to all Well got up the courage to ring BM and she wasnt home. She was at the Dentist then went to her brothers. She has offered to ring me. So even though her memory has faded she is trying to communicate with me. That's all for now Annxx

Loopy

Loopy Report 21 Mar 2006 03:10

Hi Everyone, How are you all ? Today I had my first email from my 1/2 BS, she seems nice. I also get regular emails from my BC, who is really lovely. I have not been in contact with my BM since she told me about my BF. I am not upset, I just need to take a step back for a couple of weeks to get my head around the whole thing. And I think maybe she needed the time as well to get her head around it also. It seems to have moved so quick, or maybe I was like a bull in a china shop and did not let up until I knew everything (within the month) as usual. Don't worry Ann patience is not my strong point either, maybe that the Aries in me. Everything seems to be going well, but as I said it is like a Roller Coaster ride. I have gone up, up then dowwwnnn the biggest hill and around the corkscrew. What next I am afraid to take my hands of my eyes is it up or down or around and round. Can anyone tell me! Aaarrrrr LOL Seeya later Melisa

Sheila

Sheila Report 21 Mar 2006 08:39

Hi Ann, Thought a little light relief may have been needed to cheer you up :o ) Glad to see that BM is now going to phone you, bet you jump every time the phone rings now.......let us know how things go, and I am sure your BA will have a brilliant holiday over there, hell of a long way to go for a visit though ! My BF only have to travel to Europe! Hi Dorothy, Glad to see you say that you had the best parents ever, but undestand your need to search, hope you have a brilliant 65th birthday, and what a present, getting to meet your brother and a holiday, bet know one else gets that for their brithday! Hi Mel, Really glad to see you on here, sent you an e.mail before to see if your ok, Great you have had an e.mail from BS and she seems nice, so like I said before there are always posative things to find from this, (the gold at the end of the rainbow :O) That said I would telll everyone this route, is a hell of an emotional roller coaster ride, do you reckon this searching for BF,'s should carry a goverment health warning 'this search could be dangerous to your sanity ' :O)) Reckon we would all still do it anyway, like you I went hell for leather to track down BF, although I did take a while to approach them, BS jumped straight in reckon though like you said Mel we have an excuse we are all 'Aries'. Bye for now Sheila

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 21 Mar 2006 08:50

Mel, just keep your eyes covered, and go with which ever way it hurtles! if you plan on whizzing off to the right, you can bet you'll go straight on! Can you see the end of the ride yet? hey, i've kept on whizzing round for about 15 years now, yes it slows, and goes on straight bits and then .wheeee...you are off round a double corkscrew! One major tip though, -hold on tight!! Jess x

Eileen

Eileen Report 22 Mar 2006 14:33

give some cyber hugs to a lady who hoped to see the house she was born in, in a small village in N. Wales. She was at first nervous of getting out of the car to look for the house so her husband went to look, and met my friend who lived next door, and happened to be crossing the lane to her garden.. She said 'goodmorning' as people in small villages tend to do when seeing a stranger. My friend had known the previous owner - now deceased - and also knew where to find the son. This son was the cousin of the searching lady. He had no idea that his late aunt had had a child adopted away in the late 1940s. A happy if rather astonished meeting took place at my friend's house, and the adopted lady was able to see family 'photos etc. My friend was delighted at being able to help this lady to find her roots. If she had just not been crossing the lane at just that moment , or not been the sort of person who said 'goodmorning', it would not have happened. My friend obviously knows all my story and it was knowing this that helped her to help this lady. She also knew the son well, and was able to approach him sensitively. The lady was the daughter - by a soldier - of the elder of two sisters who were still living at home at that time. The younger sister(an elderly lady by then of course) had been approached some years back, but had declined - in a nice way - to have further contact or give information. She had not told her son that he had a cousin. The son, different generation, different feelings about such things, is happy to have a cousin. Interesting that often, reading the stories on this board, it is the next generation who feel comfortable with 'knowing and meeting' when birth mothers, aunts, uncles etc, sometimes are not. Sorry that there are so many 'this lady' and 'my friend' references in this story. It is not my place to give their names, or name the village. Anyone out there searching, do not give up hope, often enlightenment arrives eventually through the most odd coincidences. by the way - where are you my full sister Jennifer Ann, born 22nd September 1945 in Woking, Surrey, our mother lived in Bisley. still searching Eileen

Eileen

Eileen Report 22 Mar 2006 17:17

nudge

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 22 Mar 2006 20:47

slip slidin' away

Sheila

Sheila Report 22 Mar 2006 21:08

Hi Eileen, What a sweet story, bet it meant the world to her, to finally see her birth place and to meet her cousin, like you say never give up hope :O) Hope everyone is keeping well. Sheila