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OLDE CRONE RETURNS!!!! Time to journey home......

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


Macbev Report 27 Dec 2005 12:46

Look, you lot, I'm FREEZING down here. I've read the weather reports and I know. All my exposed bits are the same shade as my puce knickers and I have goosebumps on my goosebumps. Isn't ANYONE going my way? I'll settle for London, although my son isn't exactly expecting me. Drop me off in Earl's Court -I don't mind walking the rest of the way. Beverley, jogging round the A30 roundabout to keep warm. PS Thanks again for the pink cardy, Beryl. You're a life saver


Beryl Report 27 Dec 2005 12:32

No Tina...not a sight nor sound of her! What a trouper you are up in your balloon powered box all night. Here have some Turkey soup...I've just made it, and a cup of camp coffee, you'll soon warm up. Macbev.....yes all Beryl's must stick together...nice to have a new pal. Beryl, best pal to Beverley x


TinaTheCheshirePussyCat Report 27 Dec 2005 12:03

Gosh, it was cold up in that balloon box all night, and bits of me seem to have frost-bite which shouldn't have! Well, I've quartered the ground from here to Exeter and not a sign of a bit of red tinsel (apart from huge quantities of it swaying from side to side on a roundabout on the A30, but when I swooped in low it turned out to be Macbev. Do you think we should warn her the lorries to Perth don't go that way?) I think once I have thawed my bits out, I shall have to go up again and follow the coast all round, just in case she went for a paddle and forgot to go home afterwards. Anyone else had any luck? Tina


Macbev Report 27 Dec 2005 11:57

Beryl, thanks for're a pal. My middle name is Beryl, and we have to stick together, don't we? Still no sign of a lift. I've just had to fend off friendly advances from a wandering husky who seemed to think I was a long lost friend. Lost someone, Jess? Show me the way to go hooooome I'm tired and I wanna go to beeeeeeeeeed I had a little drink about an hour ago And it's gone right to my heeeeeeeeeeead. Whereever I may perambulate, Over land or sea or aerated water, You will always hear me singing this song, Show me the way to my aboooooode Beverley, pal of Beryl


Beryl Report 27 Dec 2005 11:34

Macbev.....can't I have anything? about see that want it...Oh ok you can have the shocking pink crocheted cardy...I am sure your need is greater than mine. I have heard there is 'snow down south' (I don't mean your underslip is showing) real cold snow! Don't you want to stay around to enjoy it? The pink cardy will keep you sooo warm. Beryl x


Macbev Report 27 Dec 2005 10:55

Is THAT the problem? I did wonder if the nipple tassles might have been a little over the top (with outsize DD bra cups can ANYTHING be 'over the top'?) but never gave the G-string a thought. Beryl, if you don't especially need that shocking pink crocheted jacket, do you think I might borrow it for a bit? I promise to launder it once home and mail it back pronto. Rebs, Lara....have you left yet? It's getting a bit cold at this roundabout, and the passing drivers keep making rude signs (at least I THINK they are rude -I don't read Cornish too well). Otherwise........I have a son in London. Anyone going that way? Beverley-with-her-thumb-out

Merry Monty

Merry Monty Report 27 Dec 2005 09:28

Jess, if you are worried about breaking the law.....we could take a food and wash parcel and post it in pieces through the letter box?? Will need to know she is inside first though, so we need some spying equipment........... We already have: binoculars torch mirror and a few other bits..... should we also take: megaphone soap towel flannel toothbrush toothpaste Steradent Fixadent Deodorant (v important) Tena Lady How's the rash today? Bev, think you may need to adjust the tinsel if you want the ''right sort'' of lift....... Karen - have sent you a PM.....(Don't think she is reading past message 400....poor love.....I''ve never had that problem! LOL) Merry

The Bag

The Bag Report 27 Dec 2005 09:06

I'm a bit worried about this breaking and entering - we have managed to stay out of trouble so far, should hate to get arrested at this stage. have we really thoroughtly checked all the surrounding out buildings and suitable hidy holes for her before we go and blow up the CRO? Well, if we must, we must i suppose, if she is locked in there she will no doubt be pretty hungry by now.


Macbev Report 27 Dec 2005 06:03

I'm still here, Karen, although I'm hoping Rebs can fix that (read on). I seem to have slept all through the excitement -blame jet-lag, Lapp dancers and only arriving in time to get the dregs of the punch (they must have been pretty concentrated). It was a GREAT party, Merry,but I woke too late to join the rescue party, - could express-freight my Swiss army Pocket Knife, if it would be useful.. Will need a lift home ,girls, as The Fat Man and I are no longer on speaking terms. Rebs? Lara? any chance of a lift home. I'm happy to contribute some hot air if it would help. I'm standing on the A30 round about just past the B3302 still in my tinsel-enhanced puce knickers, with my thumb out. Please answer ASAP, as I've already had to knock back several (unmentionable) offers from passing truckies and am feeling a little exposed, as well as greatly hung over. Beverley-hoping -to-get-back-to-Perth

♥♪ˇ Karen

♥♪ˇ Karen Report 27 Dec 2005 05:42

Oh no.........I've just read the whole thread & it stops before the fun begins !!!! What happened at the end ????? Are you still all there or have you made your way back to reality ?????

Merry Monty

Merry Monty Report 27 Dec 2005 00:05

Bringing Wallace and Grommit! For advice on emergency inventions. Merry (nite nite Beryl, I'm off too)


Beryl Report 27 Dec 2005 00:04

Here you are Tina...I have brought you one of those balloon inflater can save your puff. Thanks for the change of plan so glad that you given up the dynamite for the chisel.. Some of your rellies may well be there too. Merry... I think that potion the invisible man took has been banned as it has not passed all the new government safety regulations. I am off for my beauty sleep now...not that I need it! I am not conceited either just have a propensity to tell the odd little fib! Good night see you tomorrow. Beryl x

Merry Monty

Merry Monty Report 27 Dec 2005 00:00

Ok - no invisibility drink :O(( Maybe....... socket set (hubby never without his!) red tinsel (three lengths of 2.7m) - not sure what for, but...... toilet paper (in case i get scared) supply of Tena Ladys carrier of huskie excrement (my pressie from Jess, but in an EMERGENCY, could possibly be used to our advantage?) pen and paper another pen pencil sharpener stopwatch tape measure spare batterys Sherlock Holmes hat Merry


TinaTheCheshirePussyCat Report 26 Dec 2005 23:51

Beryl - would not want to destroy your lost rellies for ever, so am prepared to take the hammer and chisel route - just for you, dear. Gosh, I am getting seriously out of puff blowing up all these balloons again. Anyone bring an inhaler with them? Tina


TinaTheCheshirePussyCat Report 26 Dec 2005 23:50

Oh come on Merry, we don't want to frighten the wits out of the poor old dear? Just imagine, there she is sitting hunched over a stack of old documents, clad in her harvest homes, red tinsel g-string and fingerless mittens. Only a sputtering candle to lighten her darkness (dare not turn on the lights - dead giveaway). So, studying away silently, she is suddenly grasped by unseen hands and dragged out into the night. No, I think we shall have to make outselves known to her - having covered all the exits first, of course. Tina

Merry Monty

Merry Monty Report 26 Dec 2005 23:39

Could we get some of the stuff the invisible man drank?? Merry


Beryl Report 26 Dec 2005 23:37

Sorry about the coffee Merry...just so excited! Good idea about the clock ..just the sort I need (not very quick on the typing!). The packet soup...a brilliant idea. No policeman could resist. Tina, some very good ideas, dear...but do you think your exuberance is just a little overwhelming? Poor Olde Crone may well be studying records just behind the wall you suggest we blow up! Think of the shock to the poor old dear. Most important think of the records...some of them may well be my lost rellies...and then they would be lost forever! Gone in a puff of smoke. Extra supply.. Smoke canisters...that should make it a little more difficult for any following officers of the law to locate us. Beryl x

Merry Monty

Merry Monty Report 26 Dec 2005 23:35

LOL Tina!!!! Darning wool is for making adjustments to the balaclavas!! another item to bring: Straight jacket, in case you were wrong, but so we can take her ourselves...... Merry


TinaTheCheshirePussyCat Report 26 Dec 2005 23:31

Bottle of brandy (if there is any left) in case OC is suffering from shock when we track her down. Paracetamol - for the headaches we shall all have after the big bang. Large wooden mallet - in case OC refuses to come quietly. Tina PS You don't suppose, by any awful chance, that OC's daughter has read this thread and has had her mother carted off in a big white van and a straight-jacket?


TinaTheCheshirePussyCat Report 26 Dec 2005 23:28

Merry - DARNING WOOL AND NEEDLES? What are you going to do with them - darn the hole in the wall after we have dynamited it? Tina