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OLDE CRONE RETURNS!!!! Time to journey home......

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

An Olde Crone

An Olde Crone Report 15 Dec 2005 23:30

Vicky Yes, I think it IS a genetic trait, I just cannot help myself, I was recycling long before the word was invented and I cannot throw away anything which looks remotely as if it would have some future unspecified use. (BTW - your stepfather isnt by any chance my missing James Holden born c 1825, is he? No? OK, just thought I'd ask, I've exhausted every other scenario) Olde Crone

Sue

Sue Report 15 Dec 2005 23:35

Hi All, Have been reading this thread for a while and have chuckled every day,with every new comment. Have you lot escaped from my nursing home??? Will have to do a head count when i go back... Can i come please... I will run around the hills up here in scotland and catch a few haggis so you can freeze them untill the new year..You could use the fur to make a new thong.. Sue

Unknown

Unknown Report 15 Dec 2005 23:44

That's very generous of you Kim. I might need a sherry of two to recover from the glazed look caused by high altitudes. Rebs x

Macbev

Macbev Report 16 Dec 2005 01:03

Dear Heaven, a girl can't go off for a bit of shut-eye, without everything coming unstuck! Bev -I SPECIFICALLY warned you not to send your mum surface mail. I TOLD you how the P.M feels about boat people -and you turn right around and send her on the ferry!! No wonder she wound up on Olde Crone's lawn. You're lucky the coastguards only turned her around instead of sinking her. Thanks for finalising the size 18s Reb. Colour doesn't matter. Comfort is all. Jess, will there really be bare men at the party? Not even wearing tinsel G-strings? Be still, my beating heart. I don't mind the tassles, so long as they can be attached OUTside my bra cups (have already explained the overcrowding problem there). Olde Crone, since you seem intent on spending C- in the kitchen, perhaps you would like a set of little hand towels with crocheted thingies on one end - i used to get a pair every year as a C- present from my mum. I cried, the year she died, thinking I'd never get any more, until I was turning out her drawers and found enough, ready wrapped, to last me well into the next century. Be warned though -don't wash them with your favourite lingerie, as the red dye in the crochet comes out and turns everything pink. I guess you lot have all gone to bed, so I'm off to swing weights at the gym (some nice bare men there, too) until someone wakes up Beverley-from-Perth

Unknown

Unknown Report 16 Dec 2005 02:41

Macbev, calm down girl, get a grip......Jess meant that men are barred, not bared. And that's barred as in not allowed, excluded, no male presence, not barred as in bits standing to attention. So put any ideas of swinging those tassles away please.............and you're welcome in regards to the knickers, they are so huge they come up to my armpits. Not very attractive worn under hipster jeans. Susan, we're not mad, nor have we escaped from anywhere. We are perfectly insane I'll have you know, and it's the normal ones you should really be worrying about. Now about that wee haggis............is it chocolate coated? Rebs x

Macbev

Macbev Report 16 Dec 2005 02:57

Well, she SAID bared (sulky pout). If she meant barred, she should have said so. After all, what is a girl to think - this is the Land of the Full M***y and all that . Excuse the asterisks -I don't know what gets a thread banned on GR and don't want to get Merry into any trouble, if the fun Police are watching. Bev-from-Perth-with all -her-hopes -dashed

Unknown

Unknown Report 16 Dec 2005 03:20

Well i think she meant barred, not bared. Who knows, we'll have to wait for Jess to wake up to clarify for us. On a more positive note, word of our anti-C party is spreading and the donations are starting to pour in. I've just been given-wait fo it....... -a bottle of grande marnier (Laurie took pity on me drinking curdled Baileys) -two and a half easter eggs, I think minus the tooth marks of the previous biter. -and a tin of kippers which are only 11 months out of date. I'm to detour and pick them up on my way, since I've now commandeered the wishing chair as my preferred mode of transportation. I'll have to borrow one of those chair bags the infants have over their chairs to store a few essentials. Cheers till later, Rebs x ps.. anyone know how to land a chair?

Macbev

Macbev Report 16 Dec 2005 03:46

How on earth can anyone have left-over Easter eggs? Well, if Jess says there are to be no bare men, I'll just have to pack my Firemen Calendar for a little light reading on the way. It seems to me you are making things hard for yourself re transport, Reb. Wouldn't it just be easier to come with me in the Fat Man's outfit? He knows the way and is used to making landings in awkward places. If you really think the jowls are going to be a problem, I have a pink Barbie Bike helmet you can borrow. And you could always ride with your back to the engine. Sue -are you any where near Largs? I have a cousin-by-marriage -several-times-removed, a really nice lass, who entire family is coming to spend Sunday with her. I suspect she might be interested in Old Crone's party, too. Bev-awake-Downunder

The Bag

The Bag Report 16 Dec 2005 07:03

Barred, forbidden, Prohibited,total forgottenabout,excluded, whatever Men are NOT allowed! With or without a G-string (actually especially without)

~¤§ Lara Linga Longa §¤~

~¤§ Lara Linga Longa §¤~ Report 16 Dec 2005 09:30

Reb I see I'm on the official party list so can you swing the wishing chair around and come via Yarrawonga pretty please if only to see me in a g/string would be worth going out of your way for and I see mention of a large fairy well I do qualify there too but having fallen of one tree and that was without any Baileys so will get up there if that's what's required but can someone make I have a tenna lady on as that caused the problem last time tried to jump of as had an accident and didn't want to get electrocuted but did anyway hair still standing on end otherwise you wouldn't know . As I said I will bring some goodies hidden in the back of pantry found the peanuts some one sucked all the choccy of ' I mean they are perfectly good won't hurt you' as my nanna always said when she served you up a blow fly in the bread and butter custard, and have also found some pretzels that aren't really stale as they were best before 2002 but we don't need best just edible will do we need some dip now has any one got some they didn't like without mould although some cheeses have mould and penicillen is good and its mould so maybe mould would be good I will be getting a lift with Reb if she says yes other wise will just have to start hitch hiking from OZ does anyone know which general direction I should head of in would you say just UP yes think that's it let me know REB if you can come and get me ok luv Lara

babs123

babs123 Report 16 Dec 2005 11:45

Change of plans. We won't be flying to France after all, we're taking the ferry so won't be able to drop the goodies off as planned. However if we leave on Monday instead we should be able to bribe the Captain to detour to Cornwall first. Which side of Cornwall does OC live , does anyone know? We'll be coming from the East a la the three Kings, not with them you understand, we know men aren't invited and anyway their gifts are a bit posh for us. Perhaps the Aussie contingent can pick them up as they should be passing that coast, unless of course they are coming via the USA. I wouldn't come that way girls, you're likely to be shot down as either terrorists or UFO's or even game, they tend to shoot and ask questions later over there. (Apologies to any friends from across the pond looking in) It looks like you'll need extra seating/bedding so have raided the garage and come up with the following: 3x airbeds , they are a bit patched up and some of the patches appear to be peeling off Dunlop bicycle repair kit, no patches but I'm sure you can improvise. in fact on second glance only the instructions and the chalky bit is left in there. I x foot pump. the valve has broken but if you remove the tube you can still use that for blowing up the beds if attached with a well chewed piece of gum. Please find that wrapped in clingfilm inside the repair kit. Come to think of it I'll scrape some more off the undersides of the chairs, tables et al and pop it in, you never know, it could be useful. (Will need to be re chewed to make it pliable.) And last but not least, a sofa. So disgusting that even my son won't have it , so it must be bad.. We've been taking this to the tip for the last 7 years. I won't be sending any food looks like you have ample. Anyway I don't have any out of date cans etc we gave them all to my mil last C. kat

Merry

Merry Report 16 Dec 2005 12:23

Everyone HAS been busy whilst I have been asleep.......! I have just been to two Nativity plays, so my nerves are a little shredded........ Went to the pram shop last night and stole a set of Silver Cross wheels (positively the Bentley of the pram world). I have now welded them to the lower roof box and then welded the second box on top. This makes the lower box rather tricky to open so I hope you are on a diet, Jess???? - Then you will be able to slide in more easily. I have used a couple of bike chains to act as the steering system (hope hubby doesn't want to cycle away over C-mas??)....should be stronger that string, and your G-string can remain intact and on your person. As I said previously, I will be wearing mine over beige full length combinations as this improves the look a great deal. Popped out to the RSPCA early today.....they only have three huskies in stock at the mo and are not expecting more until the January sales, so it will have to be these three.........I chacked and they are all girls, so that saves Bobbin getting ''into trouble''. Merry

Unknown

Unknown Report 16 Dec 2005 12:48

Lara, a quick detour in your direction shouldn't be a problem. Is Yarrawonga near Yackandanda?? If not I'll have to look in the Melways. Just bend over when you see me coming and I'll grab your g-string and hook it over the arms of the chair. that should secure you. Kat, not coming via the States route, so we should be okay. In any event, the red g-strings should fool the radars into thinking we're the fat man himself. Merry, had a thought. If you put a flashing red nose on Bobbin (similar to that of Rudolph, or is that Rudolphine?) then you might get mistaken for an emergancy vehicle and get given a clear route to Olde Crones. Rebs x

Phoenix

Phoenix Report 16 Dec 2005 13:17

Sob, sniffle, gulp. I may not be able to come. Just in the middle of posting to Crone the great pleasure I'd have in learning which James Holden is which, and offering to bring my firm's collection of building site photos, also circa 1985, Alter's wretched Trojan GALLOPED ALL OVER ME TOO. Sorry for shouting, but I'm upset. I can sneak into the home puter in safe mode, but I have no internet access. This might mean I have to grow up and face C like a woman. :-(((((((((((((((((( Or then again, maybe not. Bah humbug.

Merry

Merry Report 16 Dec 2005 14:03

Olde Crone.....I know you have posted a criteria list for invitees (page 8), but do you also have a list of ''House Rules''?? Merry

Unknown

Unknown Report 16 Dec 2005 14:14

Ah Gee! There's always one who eventually has to mention the 'R' word! Party Pooper!!! Although, I remember reading something about toilet use, so maybe they were it. Rebs ; (( who, by the way, DOES NOT leave skid marks in the toilet bowl.

Merry

Merry Report 16 Dec 2005 14:49

oops, sorry Elf! No one said we had to OBEY the rules......I need to know what they are, in order to break them!! Merry

Unknown

Unknown Report 16 Dec 2005 14:59

Lol Merry. I think I may have severely misjudged you. Not quite the little miss innocent are you??? pmsl! Rebs x

The Bag

The Bag Report 16 Dec 2005 15:09

Merry et al, i do hope my mode of transport doesnt have inflatable tyres- that repair kit sounds well worth its sell by date - never did decide what the chalk was for (guess why you have yours left too). I will fit in a little space , made easier by the fact that i've just suffered considerable trauma and had my annual hair cut, especially for the occasion.6 Inches gone, can i sue? in what life does 6'' constiute a trim!! You huskies will be fine Monty, in the , well, 'making merry' with Bobbin dept. She doesn't do that, good God No,Perish the thought! Corrupt my baby - they hadn't better!

Merry

Merry Report 16 Dec 2005 15:38

Glad to hear about Bobbin! Solid rubber tyres (NOOOO, on the pram wheels, not round my stomach) Merry