Genealogy Chat

Why do people keep contacting me about general surnames in my tree? For example, they pick any random individual with the same surname in question then say something like 'Oh, my screen flashed up to say there's been 2 new Bloggs added to Genes Reunited recently... any connection??' or 'I noticed you have some Smiths from London... Well, all my Smiths came from London too! Any connection?' The Bloggs or Smiths in question will be one of the contacter's direct ancestors, but in my tree, they always turn out to be ancestors of some uncle/cousin's partner! And what does this mean? It means the person contacting me has not researched their tree enough to include all siblings/descendants from each generation. These timewasters drive me up the wall, and I would prefer it if people only contacted me about individuals. I've even had GR members wanting me to research their own tree for them!? I bet other members with growing trees have this problem all the time, or is it just me!?

I think what you have to take into consideration is that some people are desperate to find descendants or a connection to their ancestors so they contact people with the same surname in the same area in the hope that there might be some connection. I have done it before. Someone had a name in her tree from the same area. But the date of birth was way out by about 40 years. All the same I contacted her and it turned out we was related. Alot of families tend to name children after their parents and so on so the name can get carried on down the line and this is what had happened. Had I not contacted her, then we might never of made contact, as we didn't physically have any EXACT matches in our tree. So it is not always that people are timewasters. Alot of the time, some are probably working under the same conclusion I did and I would not rule that out to anyone. We have now exchanged lots of information, photos and stories. So I will always do searches like this. As you are very rarely going to get an exact match to someone in your tree and if people continue to search like that then they are very unlikely to have any success.

Hi Sounds like you are having a 'bad day' I sometimes contact people who have the same name as I am researching. If it is the same name, area and aprox age. that way we can help each other. I have a few I am really stuck with so, if a name that could be one of mine, comes up I contact them about that person. It is the ones with no birth place or aprox dates, that are the one you have to ask about. I dont mind anyone contacting me, if you dont ask you will never know. It is easy to say a polite 'No' I don't see the link. Marion :))

Sarah, There's always the problem of people contacting you about individuals in your tree, who are not related to you by blood. However, atleast you can cross-reference information about descendants, as you would have both researched to the point of the individual. It's contacting people about general surnames that I find unecessary. Atleast the person contacting you about Mary was on an individual basis.

im also guilty of contacting people with surnames i think would be conected to me and all have been very polite by responding with further info or sorry no with a name like jones i could be conected to any one hopefully one day i will be best wishes angie

Marion, Again, it sounds like you are thinking from an individual point of view in regards to approx. age. I can tell you it becomes very annoying when you have to keep explaining things. There usually is a connection, but one of no significance to me, so a simple 'No' would be dishonest. I'm going to design a template that reads something like this... 'Hi, There probably is a connection, but I'm only researching the Bloggs ancestors from Greenwich, London up until Joe Bloggs (b. 1880) as he was only the partner of a distant cousin. The Luke and John you described to me are probably related a generation or 2 above Joe, but I'm only interested in Joe's descendents and other blood relations. Best, Giles'

Ok. There's no point in me asking about 'my Janet' then ? lol Marion

I am afraid I have been guilty of maybe asking more than once for a name from the same person... mainly because I don't have a little 'yes' at the side of the name.... so I will make sure now that even though there is a name... no date ...or area.... I will just keep wondering if, by a remote possibility, that rellie could belong to me too. I contacted one yesterday and it seems he is the son of my BIL's brother. Distant, but still could be attached to my tree and give me another branch to check out. We can all get disgruntled from time to time about people contacting us, but just a message saying sorry, no! would be sufficient for me. Anne :)))

C,mon, How much of your time does it waste? If i see ANYONE with one surname of mine in particular I will always message them. If they have the name there is a chance we are related because it is such an unusual name and 'localised'. the fact that they dont know where and when Freddie was born doesn't really matter to me. jess

Anne, You can't be guilty for contacting somebody in regards to an individual with the same Surname and Given Name as a person in your tree, even if the birth place is unknown because that's what Genes Reunited is for! However, it's a waste of time contacting someone just because a person has the same surname, as that is beyond vague. You don't need to know my birth place, but there is only one Giles Gaffney on Genes Reunited, and according to the Electoral Roll, most likely only one in the whole country! However, do you know how many people there are with the surname Gaffney? There's even one in Eastenders, but am I going to contact him for the sake of it to ask if there's a connection?? If he was born in the same place as me and is in fact related then I should be able to make the effort to find a possible connection before I contact him! Makes sense?

I don't understand! We all have people in our own trees that are no blood relation ie husbands and wives of our relatives. How are the people who contact you supposed to know that you have no interest in that line because they're not a blood relative. They can't see your tree, only a name. Surely we're here to help each other any way we can. I certainly have no objection to anyone contacting me about a someone in my tree blood or not, only glad to help, that's what it's all about surely. Sorry if I've missed the point. Carol

I think it all depends on how rare the surname in question is. It annoys me if I get a general query about the surname Lee or Brown, for example, but if anybody contacted me to ask a general question about Glas(s)codine or Vidgen I would be overjoyed! Kate.

Carol, You misunderstand. My concern is only about people contacting other people, based primarily on a Surname. The example I made about blood relations shows that the people contacting me, in most cases, have not made enough effort to research their tree beforehand. When you contact another member on Genes Reunited via the Search function about a person in their tree, whom may be related by blood, marriage, or not at all, you are meant to be contacting that member about the individual you found (not just their surname). When you go to send a message to that member, the full name of the individual in question appears in the subject.

Kate, If somebody did contact you based only on a surname, you can bet that member will be of no help to you whatsoever with your tree, no matter how rare the surname in question. This is providing you have no individual matches with them that were accidentally missed. However, you may well be able to help them research their own tree! If you are both going to help each other cross-reference trees, then the contact must be made on an individual basis.

Hi Giles, I sincerely hope that you do not have the name BREWERTON on your tree. I am carring out a one-named study on this name and have contacted over 40 people regarding the name. I suppose your attitude to name sharing explains why some have not replied. Fortunately many have and I have managed to put several people in touch with either living rellies or large existing trees. If you do not like people contacting you, I suggest that you remove your tree. You can then do your tree in private, chanting,' mine mine mine' over your names and not be irritated by those expressing a genuine interest. Regards Jeanie

I have to express that I do not agree with you Giles. Had I of taken your attitude I would never of found the relatives that I have and how disappointed would I of been.

Jeanie, With all due respect, your study into one name is different to researching a family tree with many names. Thank you for your suggestion, but I do very much like to be contacted by people, as long as it's about an individual in my tree. BTW, my attitude is also based on the assumption that everyone on Genes Reunited is searching for their own ancestors/blood relations, rather than a partner's relations.

Probably the wrong assumption then Giles, sorry Jess

Jeanie and Siobhan. WELL SAID ! Cath

Why are people on this site so miffed at sharing their tree,,,how do you know that someone is not related down the line somewhere even if not direct,,,how do you know they have not found things that you were unaware of,,,,,,what do these people think is going to happen to their tree if someone see it,,,,,,,,,isn;t the whole point of family history sharing infomation,,,,, kay, If a connection cant be seen isnt it better to say,,,Sorry I had a look but cant find one,,,but will keep you in mind as I search further,,, or you can of course use what is becoming the norm>>NO,