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adoption/hints and hugs from other adoptees*Chapte

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Unknown

Unknown Report 26 Oct 2005 20:04

Hi again Rainey If you feel that you want to go down the road of trying to trace your birth father, both Jess and I know a wonderful guy who's very experienced in these matters and is also pretty damn good (without massaging his ego too much....lol!) Let one of us know if you need any help and we'll put you in touch with him....and no, he doesn't charge, he just likes to be able to help. Lou

Bacardi

Bacardi Report 26 Oct 2005 19:56

hi again rainey we all do understand what your going through my birth parents dont want to be reaquanted with me either and 2yrs before i was legally adopted we had no contact inbetween been adopted we may have had the occational visit with them but it was very destressing and i still feel those feelings i felt then i was very scared of these 2 people who were suppose to be my parents to me we were visiting strangers i do hope you find others family members who welcome you with open arms.im very lucky in having found my birth dads 3 sisters who are lovely towards me and its nice to know i have birth family who do care.after me and my sister were taken from my parents the subject of us was never mentioned in the family you will find peace when you come to terms with things,its very hard i know i have good and bad days like all of us lots of hugs angie xxx

The Bag

The Bag Report 26 Oct 2005 19:14

Yes indeed Lou did send me massage and now i am back. In my experience you will slowly come to terms with thing, One thing at a time. You have the 'rest of forever' to move and see what you want to do. There is no rush, take your time and see where you want to go. Do you 'feel ' any different now you know the facts? ''what now...'' - was what i felt,- I wanted to know and now I do... very strange feeling. BUT dont forget, we have all been there and we do understand Jess x

Rainey

Rainey Report 26 Oct 2005 18:40

hi lou i have re-read my file again to day and yes more tears i dont think my birth mother wanted to see me grow as it was her uncle and his wife who were going to adopt me and they had signed the final papers but the wife was in ill health and they were advised by the family doctor not to complete the adoption i was with the uncle and aunt for a year and my birth mum didnt even have any contact with me or the aunt and uncle during the year i was there. i have so many things going around in my head i would love to see if the uncle and his wife are still about but i think there is a good possibility that they may have both died my birth mum dosent wish to be reaquainted with me and that i will respect, but i would still like to see if any of my half siblings would like a bit of contact just to know who i look like, i now know who my birth father is and am in the process of trying to trace him but i only have a name i dont even have a dob or an address. so i feel i have hit another brick wall. hi angela i have as i just said to lou re-read my file and there is so much to take in and absorb. my searching has now started again i know i have half brothers and sisters and did my birth father have any other siblings i just dont know but i would like to know. i shall now take each day as it comes and see where it takes me be it good or bad love lorraine xx

Unknown

Unknown Report 25 Oct 2005 19:35

Hi Lorraine Glad that you've finally got your file after so long of waiting and at least you now have some of your answers, even if they are very emotional right now I think it's a good sign that your birth mother seems to have tried to keep you within the family even though that didn't work out in the end. Maybe she hoped that you'd be close enough by to allow her to see you grow up although she didn't feel able to do the parenting herself. Keep letting us know that you're ok cos this is a very emotional time for you and we all understand those feelings having been there previously Jess is away at a family funeral until Thursday but I'll let her know you've posted when she gets back so she can update herself Take care hun Lou x

Bacardi

Bacardi Report 25 Oct 2005 18:18

hi rainey that is a very emotional story my adoption file was also emotional like most peoples iv read it over and over and sometimes its hard to believe im reading about me but after 2yrs its now in the cuboard and i dont have to read it no more as it is imprinted in my memory i hope you can move forward after reading your file sending you lots of hugs angie xxx

Rainey

Rainey Report 25 Oct 2005 16:06

hello everyone well this has certainly been a very emotional journey for me and i would first of all like to thank jess for starting thisthread i am sure i can speak for everyone on here and say without everyones support where would we all be so a special big HUG and THANX go to jess and big thanx to all who have helped me in the past. well today i went to see my birth file and i have had some of my questions answered a very hard and emtional story like everyone on here. i now know who my birth father is and it isnt who i thought it was so that was a bit of a shock in its self so to speak. i have found out that my birth mum gave me away at 10 days old to her uncle and his wife who were going to adopt me so i would have still been within the family but due to the wife becoming ill just before the final adoption papers the adoption feel thru on the advice of their doctor i was then taken back to my maternal grandmother who could not take me in as she had 6 children of her own. then i was fostered out to another couple and because i was nervous of men they could not foster me for long and the foster mother discovered that she was 3mths pregnant so could only look after me for a certain period of time. it was then decided that i should be placed in laneswood childrens home as now i had become quite disturbed (was i really naughty lol) it is emtional reading and i have a lot more to read but some answeres have been found with love a tearful lorraine xxx

The Bag

The Bag Report 7 Oct 2005 19:01

nudged for steve grey on gen board. jess x

The Bag

The Bag Report 6 Oct 2005 11:04

Rainey - its always an emotional story isn't it? look forward to hearing it anyway. From where has your fathers name come? I only managed to trace mine ( he was no where to be seen when i was adopted or so she said,) by finding his death and sending for the cert - his name wasn't on my birth cert, not did he consent to my adoption but his name was in the file.

Rainey

Rainey Report 6 Oct 2005 10:58

hi jess i was born in reading but my adoption went thru the blandford county court here in dorset, i have been told that the second file might be repetative, and i have also been told that it is quite an emtional story, i am going in with both eyes wide open how do i find out where my father was at the time of my birth i have my mothers address at the time of my birth and i have a feeling i know my birth fathers name any help would be gratefully appreciated love rainey

The Bag

The Bag Report 5 Oct 2005 22:06

TWO! How come? were you born one place and adopted in another? Dont pin too may hopes on finding out the truth- remember the records are only as TRUE as the birth mother told it. When my B/m signed all my papers she had 'no idea' where my birth father was. Funny that, the electoral roll says he was at her house, that year, the year before and the year after! Jess

Rainey

Rainey Report 5 Oct 2005 22:03

hi everyone well i am really excited now as i have just found out that there is 2 adoption files on me one here in dorset and another one in Reading i am going to view the first one on the 20th of october i am sooooo excited love rainey

The Bag

The Bag Report 2 Oct 2005 07:48

just in case jane comes back

Rainey

Rainey Report 29 Sep 2005 22:55

hi jess am going to be reading the whole of the thread tomorow to see how everyone is doing, yes i hate waiting but i think i am now at a bit of a stand still, as i expect you remember unfortunatley my birth mother didnt want to be reaquainted so what do o do now, do i try and contact any of the other birth family i am one of five childen( i am the eldest) and my birth mother is one of eight children, any thoughts and advice would be gratefully recieved. love rainey ps... sorry i havent been about for a while everyone

The Bag

The Bag Report 29 Sep 2005 13:04

Thats a bit Rough, Rainey, Hpe they find it for you soon remember - everything comes to he who waits.... (yes , but How Bl**dy long, I know!) Jess x

Rainey

Rainey Report 29 Sep 2005 12:54

hi guys well after waiting for about 12 weeks i still dont have my birth file my social worker has said that she cant locate it and she is now going to write to reading social services to see if it is there i certainly hope so i hate all this waiting, i have found that one of my birth brothers is on the friends reunited site so near yet so far, i am feeling very frustrated at the moment love rainey

Bacardi

Bacardi Report 21 Sep 2005 14:40

HI EVERY THIS BOARD HAS BEEN QUIET HASNT IT WELL IM IN THE PROCESS OF ARRANGING TO MEET 3 BIRTH AUNTIES,MY OLDEST BROTHER WAS OK WITH ME DOING FAMILY TREE SO HAVE ASKED HIM IF I CAN STAY WITH HIM AND HE CAN COME WITH ME TO MEET THEM AS HE KNOWS MY AUNTIES AS HE WASNT ADOPTED DIDNT WANT HIM TO FEEL I WAS ARRANGING THIS BEHIND HIS BACK AND WANTED HIM INVOLVED,SO IM JUST WAITING TO SEE WHAT HIS REACTION IS GOING TO BE.WILL KEEP YOU ALL POSTED HUGS ANGIE XX

The Bag

The Bag Report 21 Sep 2005 13:53

Rhiannon- talk to the other adoptees here , we do understand , tell us what you have been through and when and we'll all be better able to understand. It is never an easy journey, tracing your birth mother - for her or for you. You menetion bitterness in your message to me, who was boitter , her or you. Maybe she sisn't want to give you up. Tell us your stroy briefly here and see what others think Jess x

The Bag

The Bag Report 21 Sep 2005 13:46

brought back to the surface for Rhiannon. jess x

Bacardi

Bacardi Report 18 Sep 2005 22:21

nudge for jennie angie x