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adoption/hints and hugs from other adoptees*Chapte

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

The Bag

The Bag Report 13 May 2005 21:50

Go for it Maddie!- Knowing you have Lou to hold your hand. Jess x

Helen

Helen Report 13 May 2005 21:59

Nudge for Keith

Keith

Keith Report 14 May 2005 09:16

Nudge

The Bag

The Bag Report 15 May 2005 21:50

Bumped for David

moe

moe Report 15 May 2005 22:00

Maddie, i don't think anyone can truly tell you what to do on this one,but you must follow your heart, myself i would say go for it maybe he is scared to approach you as the years have gone by? anyway best of luck in your decision and hope it all works out for you MOE!

Unknown

Unknown Report 16 May 2005 08:32

Maddie, What have you got to lose? Nothing. Contact him. The worst thing he can do is to say he doesn't want contact. But you didn't have contact before, you will have lost nothing but gained that knowledge one way or the other if he wants to see you. You seem to have that inner desire to find him but are afraid at the same time. Don't be. Find out. At least to put your mind at rest. It is betterto try and fail than to not try at all to coin a phrase. you have a 50/50 chance of a good result. I say take the chance. I did and I have been xtremely lucky. Every bit of information is a success whether that be good or bad news. That is the only way I coped with it all. You have to decide for yourself what to do. I think the question you have to ask yourself is - would you prefer to know or spend the rest of your life wondering? Hope this helps. All the best Jules

The Bag

The Bag Report 17 May 2005 12:49

Rachel- maybe ....? delete the thread on records and save the info from tips. Come onto here and we'll try and help. if you are an adoptee we can help you.. Accept my appologies if i am wrong jess

Sue

Sue Report 18 May 2005 15:32

Hi, Can anyone help me I have received a letter from coventry adoption team about my search for my adopted brother 'andrew'.I have to ring the lady and was wondering what sort of questions should i ask her to gain information that might help me with my search,one question i am going to ask her if his file has ever been accessed,just not sure what else to ask,any surgestions? from sue

The Bag

The Bag Report 20 May 2005 08:20

This has slipped so far back! I guess that means everones searches are going well, so no news maybe good news. jess

The Bag

The Bag Report 22 May 2005 09:00

Bumped for a new searcher

Unknown

Unknown Report 22 May 2005 17:43

Hi everyone, Hope everyone is ok. Went to the open viewing on Sat for the house I'm wanting to buy. For 40 mins I was the only one there (along with my Nan) until another lady turned up. I was gutted. Any bids have to be in by Weds by Noon. It's a sealed bid. Didn't even know what that was until I found this house. Nan really loved the house and like me, didn't want to leave! I rang up later to see if there had been any other bids. There hasn't but the lady is very interested but thankfully she is in the same position as us. Now all I have to do is wait until Weds evening to see if anyone else is a stronger buyer. If not then all is in our favour. I'm a nervous wreck. My Auntie Christine has been saying her prayers for me, bless her. Could it be that she is praying for my soul, I wonder? She keeps telling me that I am my Mum reincarnated. I have the same habbit of tormenting her in many ways. She finds it so bizarre as obviously I didn't find them until the end of Jan this year! I guess you could say that some things are just in your genes and you just can't help it! Nan and Auntie Christine were just discussing our reunion this morning. They couldn't believe that I had ever been anywhere but with them these past 31 years. I know myself, that I felt as though I'd never been away. But to then hear them say the same thing is kinda strange but in a nice way. Jules xx

Smiley

Smiley Report 22 May 2005 18:41

Hi all Can I just ask you people 'in the know' I have a birth cert from 1951, if this person was subsequently adopted would it definitely, definitely have the word adopted on the cert? This person has disappeared, no marriage or death to date, the younger sibling of this person was adopted, and it was assumed that this person was also adopted. I know I've read before that the word ADOPTED would be written on the cert, well it isn't. So can I rule out adoption? Thank you Sam

The Bag

The Bag Report 22 May 2005 19:14

Sami, I would say yes, biuy am happy to be proved wrong- d. Presume you have sight of original cert- how old were they when they dis-appeared?maybe they just changed their name (or their parent did) jess

Smiley

Smiley Report 22 May 2005 19:29

Hi Jess, thanks for your help, the child did not grow up with their parents. The mother is still alive but wont say anything, an elder sister is quoted as saying very recently 'I always thought she was adopted' but I am assuming not, as we now have received the birth cert, and nothing at all has been added. No alterations on civil reg either. I'm also assuming that a child could not have been adopted without the parent knowing, sounds daft I know, but if a child was in care maybe made a ward of court, would the parent still have to give permission for a formal adoption? I'm thinking this child is likley to have grown up in care, or been fostered, or gone abroad before any marriage. (BTW this is about Shirley, after a very long haul, much searching, 4 marriages :-O we discovered her birth sister's present name, a letter was written to her grown-up son as we couldn't find a current address, and BINGO, she phoned Shirley yesterday :) :) :) the sisters are 52yrs & 56yrs and chatted like they'd always known one another, Shirley's ontop of the word. One more sister to find... Hannah) Sam

Unknown

Unknown Report 23 May 2005 09:53

Please can everyone send some healing thoughts to a young lady who I'm sure has contributed to this thread. Within the last month I think. She started chemo last Tuesday. Her birth parents still refuse to have anything to do with her even though the prognosis is poor. There are still plenty of other new relatives that have welcomed her with open arms. I just thought it would be nice if we could send her some love. Thanks guys. Jules xx

Rachel

Rachel Report 23 May 2005 15:48

A nudge for Ann to see. Sorry Guys I've refered her here, thought you might have some advice for her.

Sue

Sue Report 23 May 2005 16:53

Hi, I telephoned the senior caseworker in Coventry about my adopted brother Andrew Gay.She has got a colleague to look up the electrol role for the surname and his adoptive mum still lives in the same address so she is going to write her a letter explaining that a member of his birth family(me) has contacted them. One thing she did stress was that he had an unusal surname now,so if anyone comes across a male born 17th august 1968 with a unusal surname ,could you point him this way!! The case worker said that only his mum lived there,so either his adoptive dad has passed away or that they no longer live together. I know it would be so easy to find him if I had the date of his adoption,I would look up the date and look for any unusal surnames,but alass that is the only thing apart from his new name that I dont have,which is so frustrating. Thanks for reading this as I know I am ramblin' from Sue

Julia

Julia Report 23 May 2005 19:14

Hi all just a hello to keep you upto date with my family reunion. i met all the rest of my family yesterday,I have already met, birth mother , full brother and cousin. I met half brother, and sister, their partners and my 5 neices. We all met at my brothers house. i took along my daughter whose nearly 21, she has been involved in my search since i started 2 years ago. It was all very emotional my birth mother cried when she saw her 'children alltogether'. I look very much like my mother and full brother. My brothers and sister welcomed me and called me big sis.(im the eldest) I found out that my birth mother had been told i had died (i was early and rushed in to a incubator.) My mother had told everyone that she had four children but her first baby girl died soon after birth. My brother said that every year on my birthday mum said a prayer for me. Apparently my grandparents (who are dead) sorted everything including telling b/m that i had died. How cruel is that!! (b/m was a minor so had no control.)My poor b/m didn't know i was alive until 4 weeks ago this wednesday. this has all happened so quick and she was very shocked. I now have too mums , my b/m rings me and texts me every day , we think about each other all the time. I have just watched my brothers wedding video 1989 it made me sad as i would have been a bridesmaid. My only regret is that i left it so long to trace my family, im 43. i was afraid of rejection and was not ready, as i am sure you will understand. All we can do now is to look to the future (god christmas is going to be expensive with two families) sorry to go on for so long, wanted to share with people who understand. good luck to all still searching Julia X

Bacardi

Bacardi Report 23 May 2005 19:52

MESSAGE FOR RAINEY GALE i had my adoption file about 2yrs ago me and my sister were adopted and we recieved our files together very emotional time for me and my sister.before we applied for our files we met our 3 brothers who we hadnt seen for 35yrs and with there encouragement and support they advised us to have our files so we could finally put some ghoasts to rest good luck with seeing your files and good luck to every 1 who has been afected by adoption best wishes angie

The Bag

The Bag Report 23 May 2005 20:24

Well done sue- how exciting - hope it works out -kep us posted! Good luck for tommorow rainey Girl (Lorraine)- thinking of you too- hopefully you'll pop up on here and tell us all about it tommorow - My birth sister has an op tommorow ,which is also her birthday so , well, day for big thoughts!! Jess