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adoption/please be gentle on adoptees.

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 13 May 2006 22:30

please do not add any more to this thread, neW thread started (chapter 2)

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 9 Feb 2006 22:07

the first chapter


Ann Report 15 Jun 2005 09:30

nudge for margaret

The Bag

The Bag Report 20 Mar 2005 23:31

Bumped for Rosalind...but please put new replies on Part two thread Jess

The Bag

The Bag Report 11 Mar 2005 12:53

Please add new replies on PART 2 ** thread, getting too long JOAN- WE'VE STARTED A NEW ONE!!! Jess xx


Rainey Report 11 Mar 2005 12:35

hi everyone just thought i would pop in and update you all if you dont mind, contact was made not from myself but from a third person, to a lady who we were sure was my birth mum, unfortunatley she wasnt my birth mum, a very nice lady who didnt mind being contacted though, but she did say that someone else had contacted her 2-3wks previously asking if she was the person that i was looking for to, so maybe just maybe someone is looking for the same person that i am looking for as well who knows only time will tell, still waiting for my adoption pk from gro they are weeks behind, i have discovered that my adoption file is here in the dorset social services, it is so near yet so far, very frustrating indeed with love and thoughts to you all lorraine xx

The Bag

The Bag Report 11 Mar 2005 11:09

Small old world when it boils down to it . When I spoke to half brothers mother I was surprised to find out that 'way back then' she knew MY birth mother . Glad you were able to help someone else too. jess x


Unknown Report 11 Mar 2005 10:30

Wow ! what a week I've had. Met a fellow adoptee who wanted to talk with someone who had already search for their birth mum. To cut a long story short I helped to reunite them. Now the birth mum 'cookie' is trying to help me find my birth dad. It was fate that I met her baby, Only to find that cookie used to live not far from my family. To top it all, she knows someone who knew my mum and her biker friends from a certain pub! Cookie rang me last night and gave me a name. Just to make sure she had the right family she asked if mum had a brother. I only got as far as saying the eldest and she asked if he was an undertaker! Yes that was him, I said. this guy lived in a flat above/below my uncle. I had been hitting a wall of silence on my quest to find dad. My mum hadn't told them who my dad was. Just had a first name rough age and his appearence and his 2 jobs to go off. As some of you will know I found Mum's best friend. As all women know, our best friend knows everything...well she supposedly doesn't. Quite frankly I don't believe it. Things don't add up. Thru cookie I have found mum's best male friend. I spoke to him last night and he agrees that something isn't right. I'm fully prepared for rejection from dad but I need to hear it direct from him. I won't accept it from anyone else. I know that probably sounds a little selfish. I'm not asking for anything from him just his name and see if I look like him and if possible a photo. If he doesn't want me then I will leave him alone. I have found a fantastic family who I love more than anything and to top it all I have found a very true friend and sister in cookie. Her family has grown greatly since mother's day as has mine. I can't thank her enough. Joan you are my rock. Without you I wouldn't have had the strength to do what I have now achieved. You are in my heart and part of my family forever. Sorry for rambling on. Never give up. One day you will find who you're looking for.

The Bag

The Bag Report 10 Mar 2005 09:06

Thinking about writing a book, get it made into a film, win awards and bafta's !. Problem though - needs a cast of bl**dy hundreds! So, If you want to be part of this famous film you'd better come out of the woodwork now! Only genuine Birth children of my birth father need apply! people will do anything for money - maybe that will bring some more siblings out! jess xx- maintaining a sense of humour.

Sue (Sylvia Z )

Sue (Sylvia Z ) Report 10 Mar 2005 08:05

Jess, I can't begin to imagine what an emotional rollercoaster you have been on, finding all these relations. You seem to have remained calm and focussed though, and probably you are now not surprised at what else there is for you to discover. I can only admire you for how you have coped with all this info. I really like reading your threads, it's like waiting for the next instalment of a good book!! Keep positive and good luck. Sue,( still trying to find either birth parent).

Joan Allan

Joan Allan Report 10 Mar 2005 05:19

Nudge for all adoptees seeking their roots.

The Bag

The Bag Report 8 Mar 2005 13:51

Very definately everyones thread, not mine, (i started it i'll agree) but it was for every adoptee and did so annonomously in order that it was for us all, to support and help each other,and it works! Everybody tries to understand where a adoptee is at - but only another adoptee can really do so, and you are right in saying maybe she is trying to 'protect' although who she is protecting is debatable, and my gut feeling is 'herself'. I will write to her again - and i don't write as 'Mrs Angry' because i long since learned that this will get me nothing. i do have to do all sweetness and light and ' of course I understand...' . I am looking forward to talking to Noel, hopefully tonight, and sharing with him and filling him in on some bits that he doesn't know - just wish things were easier to put in place - it seems that there maybe yet another 'one of us' (9 and counting, all half/whole sibs) Must return now to trying to track my birth mothers fathers death, there was a major 'sh1t hitting the fan' when B/m was pregnant and her father is said to have died about 6 weeks after this. if he died in 1954 then it was one alreday traced that my B/M was carrying. if it was before this, but after 1951 there is another 1/2 sibling. waffle waffle, but it sure is helping so please excuse me cos it's helping arrange the thoughts jess

The Bag

The Bag Report 8 Mar 2005 12:55

HI me again, bubbling (not blubbing this time)! Just had Noels wife, (yes i can tell you his name now) on the phone for an hour....lots to talk about and even more little Worms coming out of cans... Totally overwhelmed with it all still, but its fitting in, abeit slowly , although one big question remains -and will promt the writing of yet another letter to B/m WHY DID SHE LIE TO ME? she didn't have to tell me the truth but she could have just taken a middle line and said she didn't know.Instead it seems she told me out and out lies - I have always said that i didn't have any grudge to bear with my birth mother- she did what she had to do-but sorry, thats changing. Sorry feel as though i am taking over this thread. jess x

The Bag

The Bag Report 8 Mar 2005 10:37

Lizloojay. Sorry i didn't reply to you message at the time, It actually seemed more likely that he had been given for full adoption(for want of a better desription) given my B/F fathers track record. No where did it say the his mother was actually married to my B/F, although she did use his name as the birth cert said 'formerly T'.... not Nee T, although it transpires that they were actually married, legally or not is yet another can of worms! Yes, hindsight is wonderful - jess

The Bag

The Bag Report 8 Mar 2005 08:46

Right, I have come down off my cloud a bit and will begin to tell you what happened. I was made aware that I had another half sibling, in adition to the 8, inc myself, that I already knew about. Having traced his birth i applied for his bith certificate and began the 'wondering' process as those immortal words ADOPTED were again typed along the end of the certificate . On this certificate was his mothers name, which, rightly or wrongly, I followed through with her susequent marriage and, with the help of Joan Allen managed to find a realistic address for her. After much agonising i decided to write to her - not perhaps the right thing to do but was a means to an end. I appreciate that Luck was on my side and that this Lady, whom I am now to call Peggy, was more than happy to talk to me about the circumstances surrounding her sons birth, and some of the 'goings on' have shed light on my side of things, and not least the fact that the only person that adopted 'N' was Peggys second husband. So Yes she knows where he is, he knows I want to speak to him. He also know that his mother has spoken to me I haven't yet spoken to 'N' and hope he rings me later. The only down side? (is it a down side?) is that Peggy is adamant that there were other children born to my birth mother with what was her husband (my B/F) as the father! She is certain there was a daughter born in 1952, as well as the daughter in 1954 ( my full sister and very best friend) and me in 1961 Sorry waffling..and i still havent told you what happened and what i learned about my birth father from her.......and believe you me, there is even more to type to tell you all that! will update later, when i have re-focused my thoughts Jess

The Bag

The Bag Report 7 Mar 2005 22:55

To anyone that thinks somethng is impossible, to anyone that thinks there is no hope to any of you that feel despondant DONT- miracle do happen, take a chance when it presents itself, go with your gut feelings as I did. People doubted me when i wrote to my half brothers birth mother, was it the right thing to do - tonight she rang me and was so nice , and was able to tell me so much. Hopefully he himself will ring me tommorow. I feel totally overwhelmed and could waffle forever, but need to sleep right now. I know I am lucky, and others may not be so, but don't EVER GIVE UP HOPE>Without hope you have nothing. Hugging myself, with a special kind of warmth Jess xx Joan - i did it, i found another one thru the address you gave me! She kept him, he was only adopted by her second husband!


Sue Report 7 Mar 2005 22:20



Patricia Report 4 Mar 2005 09:43

I totally understand and agree with what you are saying, my predicament is slightly different as I was never adopted but for some reason unknown to myself my birth parents gave me away to friends of theres even though they were married and my father had good job (RAOC)???????? Often ask myself why...have tried to approach my 'Parents' about this but they are unwilling to tell me anything at all in fact i knew nothing about it all till i was 16 and had to go to court to get permission to get married and that is when it all came out in the courtroom......I felt as if they had stripped me of my identity......cutting a long story short my 'Parents' and I no longer have 'mum' unfortunately passed away 2 days after i got married (29yrs ago)...she was a wonderfull lady and i miss her every day...i know if she was alive now she would help me in this matter of trying to find my birth family... Wish everyone on here all the luck in the world trying to find the info they require and may i also say how very helpfull everyone on here is as well....Thank you to every one who has helped me since i joined 4 days ago. Best thing i ever done Patricia Mary Jones (birht name)


Peter Report 4 Mar 2005 09:09

nudge for Jess


Mary Report 4 Mar 2005 00:40