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adoption/please be gentle on adoptees.

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


Unknown Report 17 Jan 2005 10:13

Hi everyone Just to say I wont be around much for a while now. We've a lot going on at the moment (new job, new house, baby going back into hospital again on Thursday, little girl's 3rd birthday rapidly approaching) and those vile e mails have really upset and disillusioned me. So I'm going to take a break from it for a few days, just didn't want to vanish without so much as a word. However, I PROMISE that if I get a response to either or both of my letters I will be back to enlighten you. Be good! Love Lou xxx

♫ Penny €

♫ Penny € Report 17 Jan 2005 10:19

Hi Lou Have a good "rest"!! Hope little one gets on Ok in hospital & 3rd Birthday goes well. Penny

The Bag

The Bag Report 17 Jan 2005 15:03

When you get a response Please let us know , will miss you jess


Cheryl Report 17 Jan 2005 17:35

hi everyone what list is that? my brother was adopted through an agency called jigsaw in london which is no longer running so im not sure where i would go from there. i dont think i would want anything from him that he didnt want to give i wouldnt want to presure him into any thing just to know that he is alive and he had a good life and is happy etc would be great it would stop my mum from wondering every day! also i think he might know he was adopted as his adpotive family had an older child which they had adopted prevouisly and he was eight so he would have known jason wasnt his parents natural child. one day i hope we will be able to find him or he will try and find us untill then i will keep searching but thanks for all your replys


Sheila Report 17 Jan 2005 18:15

Hi Lou, I don't blame you at all for wanting time out at the moment, you have a hell of a lot going on in your life, plus your search for your birth family :O) Have a good rest, hope the little one is fine, and when your ready hope to see you back on the boards, and please do not let the actions of one person deter you from this. Told you we adoptees are made of sterner stuff :O))) In the meatime I will keep my fingers, toes and arms crossed for you that you have good news! Sheila


Amanda, Report 17 Jan 2005 19:02

Lou, Come back when you are ready, but don't leave forever. Thinking of you Amanda x

An Olde Crone

An Olde Crone Report 17 Jan 2005 21:51

Lou Sorry you feel you have to step back for a while, although I can understand why. But when you feel better, put your professional hat on, and realise that whoever sent you those nasty emails is a deeply troubled and damaged person, deserving perhaps of your professional pity, but not worthy of one second of your OWN time. Best of luck, come back soon! Marjorie.


Sue Report 18 Jan 2005 01:17

hi, i'm new, so please be gentle with me, my sister was adopted nearly forty five years ago now, not because mum was young, or the baby unwanted, mum was married with three children, when she got pregnant again. mum and dad were both heart broken, at having their baby adopted. you see mum had cronic rhematoid arthritis and the doctors gave mum only six months to live, ie thats the reason the baby was adopted, mum didn't die then but in 2003, but it was too late,once the baby was adopted. i have always known i had another sister, but never knew what to do about it, i have read all the stories and felt all the heartache, the pain, the joy, of all who have written on here, it's so addictive reading that i'm up all night, i hope someone can give me a guiding hand of what to do, how to do it etc!, i feel scared of trying to find her and scared incase she doesn't want to know. sue

Sue (Sylvia Z )

Sue (Sylvia Z ) Report 18 Jan 2005 19:05

Hello Sue, You could start with finding out which Social Services were involved, also if you know what her original name/ adopted name is, you could try to get a copy of her birth certificate. At the Family Records Centre in London you can look at the register of Adopted Children. If your mother had any paperwork relating to the adoption, it would be a help. Good Luck! Sue

The Bag

The Bag Report 19 Jan 2005 09:09

What do I do Now? Potted history:- I traced my birth father (deceased). obtained death cert. Traced the person who registered his death who i knew to be his son. Eventually wrote to him. He rang Me early Dec.He Was okay about the situation apparently didn't want his younger sibs to know, which is okay by me. However, i asked for a photo of my late father which he said he would send,which hasn't appeared. What do i do now? Write and remind him? (I would like to meet the guy, but am not desperate to do so) Can't ring him (he rang from work & I don't have his home phone No) Jessx


Sheila Report 19 Jan 2005 10:49

Hi Jessbow, I have e-mailed you direct. Best Wishes Sheila

♫ Penny €

♫ Penny € Report 19 Jan 2005 11:22

Hi Jessbow If you wanted to phone him couldn't you look his number up in phonebook or directory enquires? Penny

The Bag

The Bag Report 19 Jan 2005 13:44

Thanks, i do value your opinions think i will write...soon Jess


Unknown Report 19 Jan 2005 14:17

Hi All Just popping in (still refusing to participate in this site for the moment unless it suits me...I'm bitter and twisted right now!) BUT I promised an update so here goes... Had a letter this morning from my half brothers wife, very short but polite, saying she's c**p at letter writing and would I phone her! Bless! So I've called and her 1st words were 'Well didn't you give me the shock of my life over my toast this morning'. Turns out she knew nothing about me, but certain things I was able to tell her has convinced her (and me) that I am who I said I was and that her husband is the person I've been looking for. She was quick to stress that's NOT to say her husband doesn't know about me, she said he may well do but just not have told her. I didn't give too much away about me and she was equally as coy but she did intrigue me by asking 'Are you sure you know what you're doing contacting ********? (meaning BM). When I asked why, she laughed and said that it's not her story to tell but they're a ******* bizarre family although she loves them all to bits and ***** is a sweetheart really, just odd! Anyway, her husband IS overseas at the moment so she's agreed to choose an appropriate moment to mention my contact to him when she speaks to him (which is a couple of times a week). If he's interested she'll give him my contact details and leave it for him to get in touch, but she has promised that if he says he'd rather not know, she'll ring me and let me know rather than me hanging on wondering if contact is going to happen. Lou x

The Bag

The Bag Report 19 Jan 2005 14:21

Wow Lou, left you hanging on a bit of a thread. Bit of a waiting game now.Lets hope she tells him soon and that he'll ring you, hope it goes well when he does-be positive- i'm sure he will jess x


Unknown Report 19 Jan 2005 14:22

I THINK I know what she means, I just need someone to confirm my suspicions!!!!


Sheila Report 19 Jan 2005 16:25

Hi Loui, So now begins the long wait eh! :O) Fingers crossed she gets in touch with her husband soon and you get a reply, at least she has promised to let you know one way or the other... Got me really curious now, when you say you have your suspicions ;O) problem about getting the skelatons out of the cupboards is you may want to shove them back in again :O)) Will hope thats not the case for you, anyway bizarre could just mean interesting ;O). Jessbow, I have e-mailed you about the letter reckon you could use the excuse that you thought it may have got lost with the christmas post and were just checking.... Heather, Even if you are not a birth parent you could still leave messages on the following sites. www.myfolks(.) www.missing-you(.)net www.lookupuk(.)com Good Luck all! Sheila

♫ Penny €

♫ Penny € Report 19 Jan 2005 17:03

Hi Lou Glad you've had a reply quickly. At least you should know within a week whether he wants to contact. If she is going to tell him in the next week then if she contacts you , you'll know that he doesn't want any contact. If she doesn't contact you'll know he wants to. Does this make sense? Have I read your message correct? Penny PS Good luck for 2moro


Amanda, Report 19 Jan 2005 19:22

Oh Lou, Bless you, have been thinking about you. A letter already and a phone number, seems like a good start. As you know, two of my half siblings took a while to come round, it looks to me, a positive response from his wife. Bizarre could just mean different, mine are certainly that, but full of love at the same time. Amanda xx

Sue (Sylvia Z )

Sue (Sylvia Z ) Report 19 Jan 2005 19:27

Lou, I'm really pleased that you have made personal contact. It may be easier for you through the wife, you may get more of a response than from your brother directly. We are all waiting for the next part of your story. Don't forget to write it all down for yourself, as you may be too excited to remember everything!! Sue X