General Chat

I have just spent the last 2 hours across the road at my 86yrs old neighbours, after the Husband telephoning me saying his Wife was distressed.
I could do with someone to talk to.

Jenny.

Morning Jenny, been up for about 15 mins now with the rugrat, I won't get back to bed now. How is your neighbour? are you ok?

Good morning HB sorry dont know your name.

I am not too sure what to do. My neighbours are both 86yrs old. J fell a month ago and broke her hip. she came out of hospital much to my surprise last week. i had to go across yesturday as she had fell yet again on the landing, but she was fine and just needed helping up. Their Daughter arrived later and was there most of the day.
Home Care are going in 3 times a day. Her husband rang just on 3am this morning to say he had had to call the DR as J was 'moaning and crying out'
j is in bed and i must add very confused. she is crying out in pain every 5 minutes. Apparently the Dr has said she should just take Paracetomol. The poor Lady cannot sit up and take a sip of water let alone anything else. I have moistened her lips and to be honest there is not much more I can do.

I shall go across in the morning to tell the Home Care nurse how she has been.
I just need someone to advise if i should do anymore.

Jenny

I feel so helpless, the DR wont come out, the lady is obviously in pain, and the husband cannot get any sleep due to her calling out every few minutes.

Hi Jenny, my name is shirley. What a situation for you all, what an appaling nhs we have now. I really don't know what to say but I do think the dr should have come out to her, if she has broken anything else she will be in dreadful pain and shouldn't move. I would feel as helpless as you too and her poor hubby. What time does her help come in the morning?

It is obvious that J is in need of constant nursing or at least something to help her pain during her last few days with us.
I have been a care nurse myself many years ago, and have been with the elderly right until their death. But i just dont know the proceedure nowadays.

The Husband can no longer be expected to cope and will not remember to tell the Home Care nurses just what J is going through.

Sorry i just cannot explain just how bad it is for them.

Jenny

Jenny, have pmd you.

I feel so sad for them Jenny, do you think she may need an ambulance before morning, or maybe phone her daughter who could advise you if she lives too far away.

I can't give you any advice, Jenny. However, would it help her husband if you sat with her while he gets some sleep because you don't need for them both to be ill. The other thing is could you not ring an ambulance and have her taken into hospital. I don't know how things are in UK (I'm in Australia) but once she is in hospital surely they will have to do something. They are very lucky to have you as a neighbour.
Sue

I think if Jenny is not responding to this thread she may have had to go back over.
I have had a similar situation some years ago with my dear neighbour, a widow, who sadly died earlier this year.
The last time I had to call an ambulance and the medics wanted to just put her back to bed, I insisted they take her into hospital and she actually had a stroke in the ambulance. I called the daughter who met her at the hospital.
I think an ambulance is necessary for this lady, and a call to her daughter so she can see to her dad too, poor man is going to end up very ill himself with all the worry.
Lizx

Jenny, having no idea how the NHS works, but as someone who works (for 20 years as of today!) in a home for the aged, can you call the hospital for advice, she should not be left in severe pain,in the care of someone who is 86 himself, as much as he may care, it's got to be taking a toll on him too. She deserves good pain control, and repositioning regularly to prevent skin breakdown. She also needs rest. Somehow the system is letting her down, is there an emergency department you can call perhaps? This is not good enough, and bless you for taking the time to care. So many today don't want to "get involved". Someone of advanced age needs an advocate, Has her daughter been called to come back and sit with her, surely she should be made awre.

Whatever the outcome, may you have strength to continue being such a kind and caring neighbour.
love
Mary

It make me despair, the way things are run now, I know being at home is better than in hospital what with the bugs and all but sometimes theses dr's and hospital folk get me so mad.

Hi Shirley, sorry was trying to put into words just what the situation is. I for once am at a loss for words.


I think the Home Care nurses will be there around 9am, I have met them once so will go across when I see them arrive and put them in the picture.

Apparently J has fallen 3 times now since getting home from hospital after breaking her hip.
Her Hubby dailled 999 in the early hours of Thursday morning because she had fallen. I didnt know about this until yesturday.
I am now wondering if she has broken perhaps a rib and no one knows.
i asked where her pain was earlier and she said it was on her right hand side lower rib, then the next was in her leg then the other in the center of her chest, then more pain in her leg. Her memory is so short and she is so confused.
I have loosened the blankets on her tightly made bed so she can move her legs freely .

Oh I just dont know if I have done right in coming back over home. I am now ready to wring my hands in frustration.

do you have the daughters phone no? I think an ambulance is needed here Jenny. I feel you are in an awful situation here where you don't know what to do for the best, let the nurses and doc's at hospital help her, she needs some kind of pain relief in any case poor soul

Sorry for the delay in my last post, went to make a cuppa. I did offer to stay whilst the hubby got some sleep. Bless him, he is usually up and dressed by 5am anyway, but goes to bed a 9pm.
I have just read the latest replies and I am going to ring the Daughter. Sod it, if she cares she will have to get over here.

Will be back, Jenny.

Jenny, personally if there is still a light on, I would go back over and check the situation and then I would probably ring for an ambulance and let the daughter know. That way you will have covered all angles. Her poor hubby will be having a heart attack with the worry if she carries on like that, bless her.
You are a gem to help them but I think the hospital need to get involved and someone find out why the doctor won't come out. It is another 3 hrs before the carers come and anything could happen before that.
Don't mean to scare you but I think it would be better than waiting.
Lizx

Good on you Jenny, you're right she will care and want her mum comfortable.

good morning Jenny

Sorry to hear about your neighbours. I am just getting a taste of how bad the elderly get treated. It has taken since August until Friday for anybody to take real notice that my mum is in agony for most of the time. She has finally had an x-ray so waiting for the results this week.

Gloria

Just caught up with the newer posts Jenny and I think you are right, call the daughter. I found the daughter of my neighbour was very happy for me to do all the running about and being called in the middle of the night etc, and altho I missed Dot, I was glad when the daughter got her into sheltered housing nearer to her. When that didn't work out due to Dot falling, she got her in a home where she spent several years being cared for and having company.
Hope you can get in touch and get the old lady helped soon.
You take care of yourself too,
Lizx

Hi Jenny, if the daughter is caring, she would'nt mind what time day or night you called her. I think the old lady at least should be checked out at hospital. Do they not have any kind of emergency cords or pendants on them, sounds as if she could do with a pendant at least.
Hilary.

Hi jenny
I hope you see this soon.
the doctor refusing to come out to an elderly woman who has fallen is outrageous let alone to one who has just had hip surgery.
I would call an ambulance without delay,as she needs a proper examination and xraying
Regards Tania