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funny medical notes!!

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

FUZZY BEAR

FUZZY BEAR Report 22 Apr 2008 15:11

Actual Sentences Found In Hospital Patient Charts:

- She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
- The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
- Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
- Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
- The patient refused autopsy.
- The patient has no previous history of suicide.
- Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
- Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40lb weight gain in the past 3 days.
- Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
- Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
- Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
- She is numb from her toes down.
- While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
- The skin was moist and dry.
- Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
- Patient was alert and unresponsive.
- Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
- Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
- Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
- The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
- Skin: somewhat pale but present.
- The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
- Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
- Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
- Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

Jane

Jane Report 22 Apr 2008 15:19

I have cried with laughter all over the pooter.Dog is looking very concerned.Glad no -one else can see me.
Will pass this on to OH he can pin it up at his surgery and give all staff a good laugh.

Tina-Marie

Tina-Marie Report 22 Apr 2008 15:20

Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities..... hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

FUZZY BEAR

FUZZY BEAR Report 22 Apr 2008 15:23

hi helen im sure it will give them all a good laugh:))

hi tina:))

Wild Cat

Wild Cat Report 22 Apr 2008 16:01

Fuzzy top marks :))

FUZZY BEAR

FUZZY BEAR Report 22 Apr 2008 16:03

afternoon den~~~~

are you back and raring to go!?! boards are full of life again lol

FUZZY BEAR

FUZZY BEAR Report 22 Apr 2008 16:35

great isn't it karen now we know why we can never read their handwriting lolx

Lady Cutie

Lady Cutie Report 22 Apr 2008 17:14

This is so funny .....
pmsl .
Hazelx

jgee

jgee Report 22 Apr 2008 17:22

Been laughing since cheer me up no end

Joan G

FUZZY BEAR

FUZZY BEAR Report 22 Apr 2008 17:24

have a look on gens joan for milkman notes theres some classics in there

Easter Bunny

Easter Bunny Report 25 Jun 2008 17:25

just re-read this one and thought it deserved a nudge

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 25 Jun 2008 17:36

it's the guy with the circus sized genitalia that I'm very interested in!!!!

Claddagh

Claddagh Report 25 Jun 2008 17:41

Thank you for this Fuzzy, you have made my day.Where on earth did you find all this?

Toria

Toria Report 25 Jun 2008 18:39

lol Fuzzy........:-)))))

Stephanie

Stephanie Report 25 Jun 2008 21:08

Thanks Fuzzy, for sharing them - really great!!

Was still laughing when I went out to fetch the washing in and got some funny looks from my neighbour! Perhaps I should share them with her!

Steph x