General Chat

Actual Sentences Found In Hospital Patient Charts:

- She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
- The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
- Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
- Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
- The patient refused autopsy.
- The patient has no previous history of suicide.
- Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
- Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40lb weight gain in the past 3 days.
- Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
- Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
- Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
- She is numb from her toes down.
- While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
- The skin was moist and dry.
- Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
- Patient was alert and unresponsive.
- Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
- Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
- Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
- The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
- Skin: somewhat pale but present.
- The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
- Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
- Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
- Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

I have cried with laughter all over the pooter.Dog is looking very concerned.Glad no -one else can see me.
Will pass this on to OH he can pin it up at his surgery and give all staff a good laugh.

Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities..... hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

hi helen im sure it will give them all a good laugh:))

hi tina:))

Fuzzy top marks :))

afternoon den~~~~

are you back and raring to go!?! boards are full of life again lol

great isn't it karen now we know why we can never read their handwriting lolx

This is so funny .....
pmsl .
Hazelx

Been laughing since cheer me up no end

Joan G

have a look on gens joan for milkman notes theres some classics in there

just re-read this one and thought it deserved a nudge

it's the guy with the circus sized genitalia that I'm very interested in!!!!

Thank you for this Fuzzy, you have made my day.Where on earth did you find all this?

lol Fuzzy........:-)))))

Thanks Fuzzy, for sharing them - really great!!

Was still laughing when I went out to fetch the washing in and got some funny looks from my neighbour! Perhaps I should share them with her!

Steph x