General Chat

Maybe didn't want daughters. Male parent made clear with one of eariest memories I wasn't wanted. Wanted boy, would never forgive me for not being. Don't remember who told me around same time I guess that parents could not afford third child. I was supposed to die so they could have another which might be son. All my life I was never forgiven or allowed to forget I am not supposed to exist and had to make up for it all.

Both parents gone now. No relationship with sibling truly chip off old block.

No more. Learning to come to terms with abuse but never understanding how person can hate their kids so much. He, sibling always hated. female parent remember as okay sometimes. Then taught to hate me as much as he did. Both died hating me. Sibling still alive. She hates me. She hates her husband. Treats him badly. Lots of bad language and put downs. My marriage good. Kids good. Happy family. Parents, sibling hated even more me being happy. Continued to try to destroy. Didn't work.

Am stressed so going to bake. Female parent made decent cakes. I make good cakes, everybody loves. Female parent would have hated that.

J

Many years ago I dated a young lady who was the eldest of three children - she had a sister 2 years younger and a brother who was 5 years her junior. The mother was really odd and I couldn't for the life of me work out what was going on with her. At times she 'appeared' quite normal, but then she would go into some kind of depression and take everything out on her husband and two daughters, by not speaking to them. However, she would carry on speaking with her son.... very strange. This would go on for months and when I paid a visit I didn't even receive the courtesy of an 'hello'. I really felt sorry for my gf at the time because she said that when little she would worry all day when at school as to whether her mum would be speaking or not. She said that her mum would never listen to her or her sister read (aged 5 or so) - but always her brother. In the same way the mother would buy sweets for the son, but not for his sisters. Lots more I could say unfortunately. So, I was wondering what you folk think....was that mother narcisstic?

Example of abuse from sibling. Depending on her mood, would follow me when I went to the toilet. Stood outside door listening. If I made a sound doing what I needed to do, beating followed.

Expert at contact where wouldn't be seen so took a lot of punishment to head under hair. Had I told parents, wouldn't have been believed anyway and consequences would have been severe, if not from her, then male parent.

Grew up not knowing one day to the next if I would be allowed to live or not. Didn't realise couldn't just be got rid of or thrown out on streets.

J

Not been able to read much of this thread. Too close to home in many ways. So much abuse, secrets and lies in my life. Some days I can't believe my own story.

Chris. I came on here to say had the 'you are lucky to have such lovely parents' No one ever saw what went on in that house. Actually I did talk to someone once and I learned my lesson not to. It was ex-colleague of male parent, became a driving instructor after redundancy, taught me, sibling and female parent to drive, became family friend along with his wife. They came to visit me in hospital after my daughter was born. Told them a bit then. One day at their house began to tell whole story. From that moment on, they wanted nothing to do with me or my kids. Stayed close friends with parents and sibling though.

The article in the Mail on Sunday was informative.

It pointed me in the direction of a problem that I had with one of my siblings a couple of years ago. After being close for over sixty years the' grandiose sense of self importance' part of the complaint surfaced again as usual, normally I have gone along with the conversation, but just for once I tried to quietly say how things really were- in the real world as they say-.my sibling left and I have never seen him since. I don't have a problem with the separation, in fact it came almost as a relief. -jl

There is an article about narcissism in the Review section of the Mail on Sunday this week.

Sharron - you and me both - what sort of mother takes a loved toy from a child?

Didn't expect you to reply to me although to my surprise I received a couple of psm.

Have just been talking to a childhood friend this morning who said to me 'wasn't your mother a lovely woman'? She never noticed I did not reply as she does not often stop to draw breath!!!

Guess we are all stronger and learned not to copy our mothers.

It seems like the world is swarming with the buggers!

What are they for I ask myself.

Sorry I didn't reply to you yesterday Chris but somebody was having a bit of aggro behind the scenes and I just couldn't handle your post as well.

My grandad bought me one of those Mobo push along horses. He died when I was five but the horse was uite dear to me.When I was about eight I came in to see my mother sticking grey material to my horse because the little girl down the lane had said she wanted a donkey. It wasn't long before my horse was out in the ditch rotting but,of course it wasn't my horse anymore.

Now I have written that I am crying again.

I have read this thread and went on web site to have a read at the signs they have and to say my ex husband was like that is an understatement he still does this to my daughter she has gave him money for a car which she got a loan from the bank she paid it for him, she didn't talk to him for a couple of years and was talking to me again she wanted to take her lgv test which by then she was talking to him again he told her she wouldn't pass I told her she could do anything if she set her mind to it and she did pass then she started on me again saying horrible things to me like how I don't have nice clothes and how I wear my 2nd hubby jumpers and that my mum didn't buy me trainers years ago when my ex told me when he gave me money for trainers I said the kids need shoes also he said see who is more important me or the kids so kids got shoes according to her that never happened so we are not talking anymore as she has done things to me a few times her dad put her up to it and she done it though he was not nice to her most of time
I left after he attacked our son who was 10yrs old at the time I sometimes think I should not have left her behind but I would never have had a life with her around as she didn't want her youngest brother's dad coming round when she was there who I have been with now 15yrs and married 12 yrs in June

Thank you for putting this thread up

With all this talk of the pandas in scots zoo reminds me of aged about 8 yrs I was give the ultimatum of give away your teddy or panda - another little girl needs one! I wanted panda and then was told daddy bought you the teddy and he would be so cross if you gave that away.

Have not forgiven her allthese decades later. :-|

Nudge - hasn't been on page 1 for ages

It's a lottery Liz.It's not about justice.

I can't imagine anybody who wins truly deserves to.

Don't give up your good works just because you haven't won. I won't give up mine, not that I have ever done any.

That was something that came to me when it was mentioned too, that ring might have taken her partner a while to save up for, and now it means nothing and she is going to buy a more expensive one? Shallow stupid woman! Surely she could just have a very expensive dress ring and still use her engagement ring as such.

Another one who doesn't seem to deserve the money, and after only three tries too! That really gets my goat, it's not as if she has really ever paid into the lottery funds lol whereas I have been contributing every since it started and the Euromillions one too - where's the justice in that!

Lizx

That was what I meant - sentiment/love did not mean much to her. I would not change my engagement ring if OH won lottery. Means too much to me - anyway OH would need his money to buy those two racehorses he talks about if and when he wins!

I think this was what Chris was saying.

Seems the woman knows the cost of all but the value of little.

But presumably he would have bought the ring. If the ring was given as a token of their love and engagement I can't see how she is talking about changing it as if it meant nothing.

Don't quite see where you are coming from Chris. As a tenent myself I think £800 is a saveable amount , particularly for something that is supposed to be meaningful.

I think you might be saying that the value meant more to her than the sentiment.

I am not arguing here, just trying to clarify your meaning.

What got me was she was reported as living in a 1bed council/association dwelling but had a £800 engagement ring and was saying she could have a better one. Priorities sounded wrong prior to the win - to me anyway.

I know we have only been able to read one side of this story but it just sounds too familiar to me.

It seems her son is not particularly bitter about her winning the money but, quite justifyably, angry about the way she has treated him.

It seems she chose to pretend the previous parts of her life didn't happen "everything she does is deniable" . Pretty classic.

I think we can expect her to make a statement soon to the effect that he was imagining it all. Who else had "You and your imagination"?
That was the one that always puzzled and confused me.

What an awful way to treat her son, she looks rough with that candyfloss hair and no matter how much money she spends on herself, she won't have class.

Hope her lad can do well without her but she should pay off her debts to the father and others, wonder if people she owes to will catch up with her now they know where to find her and the new name she uses?

Not a deserving winner fo sure, and they had only done the lottery three times before apparently, how unfair!!! Defo should have been me!!!!

Lizx