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Funeral Jokes...................

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Teresa L.A.

Teresa L.A. Report 18 Jun 2008 13:10

An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night., A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most: "When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours. He was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished.

He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions: "Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? that this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig his way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life?

The wife put down her drink and said, "Let the old fool dig. I had him buried upside down."


There was a great loss today in the entertainment world. The man who wrote the song "Hokey Pokey" has died. What was really horrible is that they had trouble putting the body in the casket.

They'd put his left leg in... well, you know the rest.


A group of children lived near a cemetery that was situated round a suburban church. They would often play near a hedge adjacent to the graves and while there hear the ministers conducting services.

One day they played funerals and dug a grave in which they buried a pretend casket. One of them intoned the prayers and
ended with what he assumed the minister was saying

In the name of the father.... And of the son..... And in the hole he goes!


A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who
just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are
carrying the casket out, when they accidentally bump into a wall,
jarring the casket.

They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the
woman is alive. In fact, she lives for ten more years!!!

Alas, she finally dies and the funeral is again held at the same
synagogue.
At the end of the ceremony, the pall bearers are again carrying
out the casket. As they are walking down the aisle the husband
cries out........... "Watch out for the wall!!!"

Jenxx

Jenxx Report 18 Jun 2008 17:05

Great
lol
Jenxx

Stephanie

Stephanie Report 18 Jun 2008 17:35

Absolutely great - love them!!!
Thanks for a good laugh!

Steph xxx