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Partner of 3yrs has left me 8-(

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

{****wendylady****}

{****wendylady****} Report 18 Jun 2008 18:13

My partner of three years has gone and walked out on me...... we meet 3 years ago... before i meet him i was on my own a few years after a marriage of 20yrs failed.... my x hubby left me and my daughter in debt.. no house... no friends... heartbroken... and ran off with my friend... i had to start again... was on my own for a few years... until i met my partner... he lived a distance away... and we used to see each other at weekends... we decided after a short while we would be together and live together... everything was going well except for the odd argument now and again.... but suddely he stormed out on monday eveing after a stupid little petty arguement called me some bad names... and now says he doesnt want to come back and me and him are finished... for good..... im lost dont know what to do with myself..... i saw him today at his works he said hello.... and i asked him a few questions about the sky whats in his name... what was he going to do about it.... he said leave it for a while and he would see to it.... so he told me he wants to be on his own.... keep himself to is self.... so i walked away and told him i wont bother him anymore.. and leave him in peace.... i just feel used and hurt because when i met him he hadnt got nothing.... lived in a crummy bedsit nothing to his name.... i gave him a home and my family excepted him... as he has any family who dont keep in contact with him..... what did i do wrong to be hurt again like this... why do i have bad luck with relationships.... im very weepy...

Sue

Sue Report 18 Jun 2008 18:18

Why do you think you have done something wrong? Please don't! You cannot blame yourself. You need time to accept this and that will also give him the space to reconsider his decision.

He may be regretting it, seems that it was a very hasty act. I am not much use with words in situations like this. Someone who is far more able than me will be along soon to help.

Please try not to be so upset.

Take care

Sue x

{****wendylady****}

{****wendylady****} Report 18 Jun 2008 18:24

Maybe sue... that i feel i failed the first time now im failing again...he is young than me by 10yrs and lot of pretty ladies same age as me work with him and i feel now inadequate.. that i aint good enough for him..

JustKaz

JustKaz Report 18 Jun 2008 18:24

wendy, so sorry to hear this, give it some space and time, after arguments, things are said in the heat of the moment and what you mean and really feel get blurrted out, some men get depressed and cant cope in the real world, so run and hide and forget whats really the problem..
my hubby's walked out several times i say several i really mean hundreds, we live apart now, it works .......... for us though :)
if you wanna talk of the board i'm here now, its up to you
take care hun, kaz xxx

Julie

Julie Report 18 Jun 2008 18:28

Wendy....

I'm so sorry to read this, you must be devestated n confused. Don't blame yourself....it takes two to build a relationship n two to end one.

As Sue said, give him time, he may just need some space to realise his feelings are just hurt n hidden for some reason....no-one can just walk out on a 3 year relationship without a reason or an explanation........give him time to think things thro n please try n keep your head up.

We're all here for you.

Pm me anytime you need to talk ok...??

{{{{{Gentle Hugs}}}}}

Juliexxxxx

Jane

Jane Report 18 Jun 2008 18:29

Wendy,I'm so sorry you are going through this again.
Please don't do what my best friend did and turn to drink.
She could not get over her OH going off with his secretary.The drink ,stress and chain smoking killed her!!!!

Please be strong as I have seen the devastation of her children.It is now 8 years .I hope you have good people around you.

{****wendylady****}

{****wendylady****} Report 18 Jun 2008 18:29

hi caz i feel if he has enoug time away from me he will never want to come back..... i would want him to come back on his own accord... but gut feelings says he wont....i told him many times i would like him to speak to me with respect but it doesnt sink in... my mom says let him stew in his own juices... he was at fault...

Jane

Jane Report 18 Jun 2008 18:33

Life deals out S**t sometimes Wendy but you can rise above it.

Sue

Sue Report 18 Jun 2008 18:33

Don't feel inadequate, even the most perfect human can have failed relationships. We can only do our best. From your post this seems to be a bolt from the blue. I guess you need to ask him exactly what the problem is as you seemed to have had no inkling that him leaving was on the horizon.

Forget the younger pretty ladies, you will live life in a state of paranoia. You have qualities that they certainly wont concentrate on that.

Speak with someone on here you trust privately.

Love Sue xx

{****wendylady****}

{****wendylady****} Report 18 Jun 2008 18:33

helen i wont turn to drink as im tee-total... i cant drink as my father was alcoholic and that killed him... so i saw the damage it did to him and my mom... i must of killed a robin somewhere to have all this bad luck... i only want some-one to love me as me... and give me the respect that i deserve...

JustKaz

JustKaz Report 18 Jun 2008 18:36

the longest me and hubby were apart after an argument was 3 months, it was torture, he didnt want to talk, see, even ignored his son, i thought there was someone else as you do, but i found out it was due to depression, in the end we agreed to live apart, see each other but not live together, ..

maybe your man, is depressed he doesnt know what he wants in life, have you comented on those girls at work, that can make them insecure as he may think you think his not gonna be faithfull, been though this ............

write a letter, explaining everything, how you feel, how you feel wityh him and away from him, whats his good points and bad...
ask him to do the same.........

kaz xxx

Jello

Jello Report 18 Jun 2008 18:38

So sorry to hear this. I would give him some space to let him think about his actions...and feelings. Don't contact him. If he cares and loves you he'll be back.

And like Helen says don't let yourself turn to drink or anything. It destroys! You are worth more than that.

Take care
Janetxx

Jane

Jane Report 18 Jun 2008 18:41

Wendy,
You will get someone to love you, dont look for it.It will happen when it is meant to be.

{****wendylady****}

{****wendylady****} Report 18 Jun 2008 18:42

kaz i tried to write a letter and tell him what i feel.... i told him in the letter that i know i cantmake him love me or stay with me.... but i love him enough to let him go i will let him go....i said in the letter that i hope he finds happiness and some-one who loves him dearly as i do.... and treasure him with love and respect...he deserves....

~irishgirl~

~irishgirl~ Report 18 Jun 2008 18:45

Ah i am so sorry for you. Good things in life are worth waiting for. Hope you find your's soon.

Rosi Glow

Rosi Glow Report 18 Jun 2008 18:46

I would get the Sky cut off now, if that is what you want....Why pay for something if it's in his name? I think it takes a few weeks for it to be cancelled anyway, or maybe he has said he would sort it out because he is thinking of coming back home?

{****wendylady****}

{****wendylady****} Report 18 Jun 2008 18:50

thats what i thought rosi glow he pays for it i dont....maybe your right it does only takes a few weeks to cancelled... he says he his tied up in a contract with them unless he is stalling things to make up his mind... but i do know he is struggling to live without cash at the mo... and that would save his money if he decides not ot come back

Rosi Glow

Rosi Glow Report 18 Jun 2008 18:53

And your money too wendylady.

JustKaz

JustKaz Report 18 Jun 2008 18:58

dont rush him to cancel sky then.............. i'm same opinion, he's using the sky as a make or break symbol, if he cant make his mind up and you get or him to get ride, you know what mens brains are like, simple ( gawd i'm for the chop with the men on here now... sorry....lol)
what i mean is they dont think things through properly, all rash and steamy, let him cool down and sort his finaces out, then see how he goes from there....
remember plenty of us on here have been through this and can help you, and be here for you
kaz xxx

{****wendylady****}

{****wendylady****} Report 18 Jun 2008 19:01

i was thinking im selfish think of myself and cumbian caz has put a thread on about the boys in afganistan.... my problems are nothing compared with theirs... sorry for been self centre... there worse things happining in the world...