General Chat

I have posted before about my problems with her. To cut a long story short.....

My MIL lost her son at 17, 40 years ago.Consequently she wrapped my OH in cotton wool, understandably so.

She has never wanted him involved with a woman and gave me hell when we got together. My parents think of my OH as a son and have a great relationsship with him.

Slowly things got better as my MIL could see I wanted her involved in our life and the two Granchildren we gave her were a big bonus.Things seemed to be improving.

When OHs son moved from his mothers to be with us in 2001 we thought all would be ok. But he developed a crush on me when OH was in Iraq, off course i had to push him away. then it turned to hatred, nasty letters left around, cds broken mysteriously, etc, he became very disturbed and i tried to deal with it, along with 5 kids of my own.he had a nervous breakdown

In the end he moved in with my MIL. We thought it would be a cooling off period but he stayed and told her many lies, which she believed.I have tried to solve things but he will not reply and MIL says ' well you and your kids drove him out' When i had a big row with her at Christmas and said it was because he had a crush on me, she said it was all in my mind.


im at the end of my tether, dont know whether to leave it or try { which i have}

My OH is so confused he hasnt even invited his Mum to do with the Queen for army, hes asked my parents.

I just need some advice, where do I go from here?


Thanks all,


Caz xx

i'm not sure there's much more you can do hon.

You've tried to talk it through with her but she's not having any of it.

Until she's ready to have the blinkers taken off she'll believe what she wants to believe.

My advice would be just to leave the door open for her and see how it goes.

Not much help I know but can't think of any other way.

Hope it all works out for you Cazzles xx

caz with past experience from friends and family
there is not much you can do if she has decided she dont like you
just smile sweetly when u are in her company and be nice
and dont dwell on it when she isnt there

shes not worth the energy hun trust me!

;luv n hugs
stray
xxxx

caz your under a lot off stress , i am too in our frame off minds i wouldnt make a hasty decission, however if pmt was involved i would tell her to go play, some people arn't worth the effort
my mil rings john telling him what his first love is up too, she is a backward in bred hill billy so i just feel sorry for her xxx

Thanks Muffs and stray,

My OH has a very odd relationship with his Mum , I have a great one with mine and its very hard to grasp what he feels. he doesnt want her at anything, but goes mad if i say anything to her that bothers me....confused lol! i was brought up with openness.


I think step son is cleverly manipulating, hes already pushed Graeme out of her will.

Caz xx

and..............sorry can't give you a sensible answer lol xxx

Ta Puss, sorry i dint ring love, i meant too, been so busy with kids and parents came over.

Ta for your advice love, Your MIL sounds like mine, mine once said' he didnt behave like this before you' when he was being vile, I said ' well why did he leave his ex for me then?'


Caz xx

don't worry caz ive been in the garden all day the garden centre thingy comes twice a week and he is so cheap , his clematessss are only 3.00 so any where there is a fence or wall in my garden has something growing up it caz love people who either ignore you or are rude to you think to yourself are they really that important , ive been married 3 times and mine have all been witches
"am i bovvered "

been there got the tee shirt

move on and

leave her behind and enjoy your life

I agree Joy and puss,


But i know my OH is still messed up by her and feels a loyalty with his son, even though his son has made it clear i am evil lol!!!


Caz xxx

Caz,
i feel for you .
my MIL was an old so and so as well
i used to ignore her as much as possible.
sending you some
((((((((((hugs ))))))))).
Hazelx

Thanks hazel, love, Im sure you pmd me, been sobusy, my MIL wont accept me and now granson is there, who dislikes me, there is no chance,


How are you, love?


Caz xxx

just take a step back love
let them get on with it just say nothing do nothing
as long as you know in your own mind what is the truth thats all that matters
just remember your oh is in the middle of all this it must be so hard for him
xx

Caz ,
i'm fine , i just wish there
was something i could do to help you .
all you can do is to carry on
and say s*.d them .
talk with hubby .
luv Hazelx

Thanks chris, my cyber Mum,


I want to break away but know shes my husbands Mum so i want it to work,

I need to back away, but its so hard as they are telling lies about me!!


caz xxx

Thanks hazel, i tried to be a good Mum to my hubbies son, but it all went wrong, he had an obsession with me, but wont admit it to my MIL, so im seen as the big bad wolf,


Caz xxx

i know its hard love
but they want you to take the bait thats why they do and say such things
just go on with your own life
they will either come to you with it or let it drop when the see they cant get to you
xx

Caz, I think you have to step back and leave her to it. It sounds as if she is making her grandson into the son she lost, and he is manipulating her. Just be there if she wants to make contact but stop trying too hard. It sounds as if Graeme has issues with his Mum anyway, try not to get involved.

Ann
Glos

Frosty has a thread on chat for scrabble buffs,the anagram of mother-in-law is woman hitler! Each time you get stressed about it,just imagine her doing a goose step! Dont worry,shes your husbands mother,not yours,let him deal with her,and ignore the brat who is attention seeking,and concentrate on the rest of your lovely family-well just my opinion(as usual,lol)

Caz
have pm you
Hazelx