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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Gwyn in Kent

Gwyn in Kent Report 24 Jun 2008 11:48

As hard as it seems, I wouldn't tell one girl without telling the other.
It will be a secret burden that she won't be able to talk about with her sister.
You were trying to protect them but do you KNOW that rumour is true.? Please be sure before you tell them the truth.
If rumours are rife, someone is bound to tell them both, perhaps in an insensitive way.
It would be kinder coming from a loving family member once you are sure of the facts.



Kath Report 24 Jun 2008 11:39

Devon Dweller,
I will tell my daughter what you have said and that it must be done asap.
As I said to Julia ( above) my daughter's anxious because the girls will then probably find out what happened to their dad. She thought at the time that the grandparents and herself were protecting the girls but I now think it was a huge mistake.
Perhaps it would be a good idea to tell the oldest girl now before things go any further, do you?



Kath Report 24 Jun 2008 11:35

Mick from the Bush

Thank you once again for your valuable help & advice.


Devon Dweller

Devon Dweller Report 24 Jun 2008 11:34

You can ring a solicitor on their behalf. They will advise you of what happens next and who needs to be in control of it all.
Personally I think the sooner the better


Kath Report 24 Jun 2008 11:34

Yes, that's more or less what the CAB told my daughter this morning. I feel my daughter must speak to the 12 yr old and ask her what she wants to do. The problem is that D's parents haven't told the girls that their dad killed himself. His parents haven't even told my daughter, we just heard it from someone else in the village. My daughter fears the girls reaction when she finds out. She didn't tell her because obviously the grandparents don't want them to know and thought she would tell her the truth when she was a bit older. ( what a mistake that was)

Thank you for your advice


Mick from the Bush

Mick from the Bush Report 24 Jun 2008 11:32

Kath - the solicitor can act on the behalf of the children irrespective of their age.


Kath Report 24 Jun 2008 11:29

Karen in the desert,
Thank you for your reply.

Yes, we thought they would be next of kin but again we thought with them being under 18 we couldn't do anything about it.
I'll tell my daughter to make an appointment asap before things get out of hand regarding his possessions.

Thank you very much for your advice.



Kath Report 24 Jun 2008 11:26

Mick from the bush,
Thank you for your reply.
So can my Granddaughter aged just 12 get this court order to stop them disposing of his possessions do you think? Or would my daughter have to do it on her behalf?



Kath Report 24 Jun 2008 11:25

As I've just said to Gwyn, I didn't realise that the 12 yr old could do this herself. I thought she would maybe have to be 18 or something.
Yes, I now agree that legal advice is a must.
Thank you very much for your valuable advice.



Kath Report 24 Jun 2008 11:23

Gwyn in kent,
Thank you for your reply.
I didn't realise that the 12 yr old could consult a solicitor herself.
Thank you for that valuable advice.



Kath Report 24 Jun 2008 11:21

Devon Dweller,
Sorry for the delay.

We had thought that perhaps his parents had put his things in trust for them for when they are older but if so, why would they be giving his valuable possessions away?
Yes, I think the only option is seeing a solicitor.

Thanks for your reply

Gwyn in Kent

Gwyn in Kent Report 24 Jun 2008 11:13

Just read through again and see there was no Will. Even if there was, you can get a caveat to stop it being acted upon for a time, while things are sorted.

Please get advice quickly.
Put feelings aside and stop everything going before it is too late.



Kay???? Report 24 Jun 2008 11:09

The girl of 12 can employ in her own right a solicitor,there is no legal age for this,

Legal advise is a must,

Devon Dweller

Devon Dweller Report 24 Jun 2008 11:04

You can get half an hours free advice from most solicitor's and possibly legal aid to help them.

Mick from the Bush

Mick from the Bush Report 24 Jun 2008 11:01

Get a solicitor.

Get a Court order to stop them disposing of his estate!


xxxx mick

Gwyn in Kent

Gwyn in Kent Report 24 Jun 2008 11:00

You need legal advice, ....and quickly.

I believe you can get a brief consultation with a solicitor free.
When it comes to it, it's not your case against them, it's D's daughters, so they may be able to get financial help to fight their case.

We were involved with a problem re. an aunt's Will and the solicitor told us there is a definite order of relatives, who are deemed to be beneficieries.
Do you think D left a Will? That might over-ride inheritance order.


Devon Dweller

Devon Dweller Report 24 Jun 2008 10:55

I believe that advice from the CAB is correct but because the girls are so young it might have gone into a trust. I personally think you should consult a solicitor. It sounds all wrong to me what they have done.


Kath Report 24 Jun 2008 10:33

Maybe some of you will remember that a while ago I put up a thread about my daughter's ex partner committing suicide.
They had two girls, now aged 12 & 9.
When D died his adopted parents took over everything & didn't even consult the girls about when or where the funeral was. They found out from the local newspaper. After that,they just told the girls to be at their house on that day at a certain time & that was it.

His parents have now emptied his home etc & gave the girls his old battered stereo & a box of cd's plus some glass ornaments.
A few weeks later they phoned wanting the girls to go there as they said their dad had left them some money. They were handed a coffee jar full of 2 pence pieces. Last weekend a friend of D's visited the girls & showed them that D's parents had given him one of D's Gold Krugerand rings. D had a lot of gold rings, chains & bracelets etc. We have heard in the village that they have also given away other items to his 'friends'. And his Jaguar car is up for sale.

The girl of 12 is devastated that they are giving away their dad's possessions like this ( there was no will ) She wants these things to keep as heirlooms but we think his parents won't give them to the girls incase my daughter gets her hands on anything. My daughter does not want anything belonging to him or them I can assure you, he was violent towards her & that's why they split up over 2 years ago. BUT, she wants to do right by her children so she phoned Citizens advice. They have told her that as far as they know, because D had no surviving spouse/partner or other children that the two girls should inherit everything.
Does anyone know if this is correct? If so, how should she go about dealing with it? His parents do not communicate with my daughter & she would prefer not to have to deal with D's father because he is a very nasty vindictive person & has caused her no end of heartbreak in the past. It looks like she will have to go to a solicitor to fight for her children's rights but probably at a huge monetary cost which she can't afford as she is not on benefits.

Any advice whatsoever on this would be greatly appreciated.


The eldest girl of 12