General Chat

Tina, all the wise and wonderful people on this site have said everything I would like to say. Just sending you my support and hugs. BC XXX

Hi Tina, nothing to add but just want to send you support & a big (((((((HUG))))))). Stay strong.
Hilary. xx

Hi Tina, if you are looking in here, have a good week, love, stay strong and don't let him get to you. Show him you don't need him except to do the grotty bits on the house, so you can get things sorted and your life back on track.
We are all behind you.
Lizxxxx

Hi Pam, love the words to that song!

our tina here comes another echo......your strengh is beyond belief you can do this.one dy & a time .

ur family off friends on here r rite behind u & u now where we are when you need us.

love & hugs fom me here 2 u there.

I can only say what every one else has, I was in your position 35 years ago with three small daughter's , I know at that time I made a complete idiot of myself screaming and shouting at them both, and then one day I realised what i was doing so pulled myself together and I would never tell you it was easy and 9 years later got together with my husband of now nearly 25 years.

It will not be easy for you but the absolutely wonderful guys and girls on this site will be your rock and will help you at every turn you make, I wish they had been around when I was going through it all as I had very few friends at that time,

Whenever i was at a really low point I would always play a recrd by Helen Ready called I am Woman in it the words say
I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'Cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

Oh yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to
I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

You can bend but never break me
'Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'Cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

Oh, yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to
I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long, long way to go
Until I make my brother understand

Oh, yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to
I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

Good luck to you and your family

pam

Tina

I know exavtly how you feel. My ex left me quite a few times to live with a so called woman round the corner. I say a few times cos like fool I kept taking him back thinking i couldn't throw away our family. But it wasn't me that threw it all away it was him.

He told me one time he was leaving me that he was going at the end of the week. That week was torture for me. I don't know if I could have let him stay a month.

The next time he left he said the same thing & I realised he had no respect for me at all. I packed his bags & put them in the street!

I don'y know you so it's not my place to tell you what to do but I really don't think it's good for you for him to stay in your home until he decides it's convenient for him to go. You should be the one who decides when he goes. He's taken away all your other choices by doing what he's done. He shouldnt be allowed to make you suffer any longer.

One day you will feel stronger but not while he's still there.

The work on the house can still be done, he doesn't have to live there hurting you any more than he already has. You can learn to do it & you may enjoy doing it like I do.

Please think of yourself hun & YOU tell him when you want him out.

Take care

x

just wanna send you some ((((hugs))))
Rosex

hi again I did what Izzy did slowly and bit by bit i have decorated right through , the first few weeks i went through every cupboard and made sure everything was gone bills etc , The CAB gave me a good check list for changing all the bills into my name .which kept me busy . hope you are ok today Maz

hi Tina, i don't post here often now but felt moved to on reading your post.
Feeling anger and hatred are all normal emotions to feel, my advice would be to try to make a list of things you'd love to do and try to plan to achieve a few of these things to do throughout the summer, even if it is just a basic household chore like wallpapering a room in your newly renovated home, especially if you do it a colour or pattern you know he wouldn't like!!.
When i was in a similar position to you i moved all the furniture around in every room in my home so everything was different to how it was when He was here. simple things i know but very invigorating all the same and don't cost anything to do!!
Stay strong , dignified and beautiful xx

Tina, you have behaved with such courage and your dignity is intact......this is a bad time you are going through now, but once he is gone out of your life, you can go on......and look back in later years on this time and be pleased with yourself that you stayed so strong.......You have so many friends on this board who are rooting for you, and some who have been where you are now.......please take strength from their knowledge.......my heart goes out to you......x sally

Tina my love,

You have every right to feel anger and rage and to want revenge, it is a perfectly normal emotion.

I will reply to you on facebook soon, havent been on there for ages,

All my love for strength and dignity. You are so much better than them,


Love and hugs,


Caz xxxxxx

thinking bout it tuna..........i hate um ,and i never met um .lol.

pair a scroats.lol

aww hun,i can only imagine whats in your mind at this moment.but believe me and remember this...
KARMA.....it does come back and bite you on the bum.it really does.
out there is someone special waiting for you,in time when you,ve healed he,ll turn up...you see.
as for now you have your dignity he has a trout.
lean on us,phone me if you need to.anytime.
i agree also send him off now.he can return to do the house.tell him u feel uncomfortable him being about and you,d much prefer he move in with the trout now.and you need to get your life on track without him being there all the time.
let him feel rejection....hell you have!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and tell him from me ........not to catch his butt on the door handle as he goes.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxwuvs ya

Hi Tina,
well here's a first, I don't have anything to say! lol
Well, nothing that hasn't already been said. It might not feel like it at the mo, but you will get through this, and come out a strong independent lady.
You know where I am hon.
Love and hugs
Lizxxx

Tina love, can't add anything to this... everything has been said... I do admire your strength of character in trying so desperately hard not to be horrid about him/them in front of your older stepdaughter... I know how much she means to you, and I know you love The Attitude too, even though she has put you through the mill even before all this hit the fan.

I am very much afraid that I would probably have done the black sack thing... with his and the Attitudes stuff..... but I don't have your strength of character. You do have the strength.. you will do it, and you will still have the love and respect of your rock!

Look after yourself and your rock.... that is what is important right now.

Love and loads of (((((((hugs))))))

Daff xxx

Dear Tina.
I understand what it's like to be betrayed. I hated the thought I would be on my own and grow old with nobody to share daily life. but the freedom was exhilarating. Hasn't been easy but better to be single than the alternative.
We are much stronger than we think we are, you CAN do this. Your friends on here are all behind you, and share your sadness.
Love
Mary

Tina,
Can't add any more as a lot of good advice on here.
Keep being strong, it may be hard but you are a better person than them.

Big ((((HUGS)))) to you and your daughters.

love
Sue

If he has to stay in the house for another month, then take advantage of it and leave him to look after the kids while you go out on the town. Make it look like you have moved on already, even if you havent. If you cant face going out on the town, then lie and go and spend an evening with a friend and a bottle of wine, or at the cinema - just lie to him when you get back and say what a great time you have had. Say you met some interesting new people that you may/will meet up with again next week.

Tina, Kick him out now,You don,t have to put up with him being there just because of the renovation of the property,its in his interest to get it sorted,( You would,nt allow an outside contractor to live in ) so why him? Plus,if you have children of school age,you can get security of tenure untill they leave school,and he has to wait untill then to get his share of the house. Don,t mess about or let him mess you and your children about,you all deserve better.**M**.

Dear Tina
I cannot give you any more advice than has already been given, also cannot imagine what it is like to be in your position. I can only show you my support by posting on here. May you grow into a beautiful independent woman and let the weeds that have grown around your heart be cast away as you grow taller and stronger as the days grow into weeks and the weeks into months and soon, very soon you will realise there are no more weeds just flowers and laughter.

God bless
Tina xxxx