General Chat

Birthday party snub sparks debate

An eight-year-old boy has sparked an unlikely outcry in Sweden after failing to invite two of his classmates to his birthday party.

The boy's school says he has violated the children's rights and has complained to the Swedish Parliament.

The school, in Lund, southern Sweden, argues that if invitations are handed out on school premises then it must ensure there is no discrimination.

The boy's father has lodged a complaint with the parliamentary ombudsman.

He says the two children were left out because one did not invite his son to his own party and he had fallen out with the other one.

The boy handed out his birthday invitations during class-time and when the teacher spotted that two children had not received one the invitations were confiscated.

"My son has taken it pretty hard," the boy's father told the newspaper Sydsvenskan.

"No one has the right to confiscate someone's property in this way, it's like taking someone's post," he added.

A verdict on the matter is likely to be reached in September, in time for the next school year.

What about the rights of the child giving out the invites - why should he be forced to invite those he doesnt like or have not got along with ??

Its not compulsory to invite every child..if this is going to be the case, then the school should fork out for the celebrations to enable this.

Ive never invited all the kids in my children's class to their parties.

They have had to choose a set amount due to costs, and the children left out have to learn that in life, not everything is available to them each time...its a lesson in life and one my kids also have learned when they have been left out of their peers parties too.

Its just sad some parents invite the whole lot, despite financial difficulty, its either because they feel sorry for any kids missing out or they will think their kid will be super popular for inviting all...

FGS...................the worlds gone mad...what happen to children being children, at 8 years old the only concern I had was to watch shang a lang on thursdays....

I wonder what both sides to the story are....I can imagine that if this was an attempt to foster favouritism by hosting a big party then leaving out two kids deliberately, then the school were probably right to do what they did....ie not allow the classroom to become a war zone with divisions.....

A bit like somewhere else I can think of......:-)

When u were 8.....?

Is Shang a Lang when the guy on the piano provided the dramatic music to the buster keaton films....?

He asks innocently :-)

If you take it to it's extreme - what about the siblings of those invited to the party? Shouldn't they be allowed to go to? Of course not!!

Does this means a child would have to invite the child that makes their life a misery by bullying them?

The thing is Elderick

The parent had reasons for not inviting said two kids...one because of a falling out...we dont know what or how bad was that falling out was. (I would never force my kid to invite said child if it would spoil the party for them)

The other one because he left his own child out of a party invite (a bit lame but there may have been a reason why the child wasnt invited such as another falling out)

No point in inviting said kids if it would make his son feel awkward and on edge on his special day.

There are certain kids, in my daughters class who I would never invite to her parties, a few who are distruptive in class & spoil the other kids learning...and fun...and a few whom have been constantly the bane of my daughters school life, causing her distress and being the root cause of fallouts...at the end of the day, when its your party, its your right to invite those you want to enjoy it with you, and leave out those who are not really your friend all the rest of the year and who cause you upset.

School is the normal place to give them out as its not easy trying to find said addresses to send them

If of course nasty things were said to those not given an invite whilst they were given out during school time, then the school needs to change their policy to the invites being given at the end of the school day in the playground.

Just playing Devils advocate for a moment....:-)

lets suppose this kid who is having the party is a right little bully, with adversarial parents. The two kids who arent invited are two kids who have stood up to him......

Does the matter not take on a different light under those circumstances?

Could the school not be acting in everyones best interests?

On the face of it, maybe the invites should have been returned to the donor on the understanding to offer them again OUTSIDE school premises and Hours

After all, as the saying Goes.....(sic)......Its MY party!!and I'll have who I want......
Bob

Hmmm! wonder if said party was going to be held onschool premises?

Elderick

Yes thats possible, but to be honest, if he was bullying my child, I would be glad not to get an invite for my child.

Rather that, than be forced to attend for fear of saying no.:o((

Bob

I quite agree

That would me more acceptable, if there were kids that upset at not getting an invite, to change their policy so that kids give out their invites after school.

Rather than to bleat on about kids rights to be included in everything..when thats not in years to come how life will be for them as an adult.

On another note..children get excluded from fun activities at school for a reason...I know of a child who was stopped from going to the seaside because of awful behavior towards his peers and his teacher.. The parents and himself were warned it would happen, and it was followed through after more bad behavior. (child is not special needs)

The mesage is..bad behavior does not reap rewards, child chose to be bad despite knowing the concequences, and after lots of minor warnings , so therefore chose to miss a great activity.

maybe the invites should have been given out when outside the school,then it would,nt look like bullying.
schools for learning.

well I wasn't invited either, so there!!!

It's all very well having rules as to what kids can and can'nt do in school or on school premises. But when someone breaks the rules to complain to the national parliment about it is just OTT.
You would think that the school could have dealt with it internally.


Spud

Nobody has mentioned jellybabies!. If there aren't any, I wouldn't want to go to that miserable party.

Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now I have six children & no theories. Mind you, I am lucky really - they have all grown up & flown the nest.

Joy

I agree schools for learning, but for years invites for parties have always been given out at the end of the day before the kids leave their class room, or in the playground before or after school when most parents are avaliable..

As a parent, its almost impossible to track down most kids after they leave the school premises.

If school friends are invited, school is the best place to find them to give them the invite :o))

I bet they wish they'd invited the 2 kids now, at least they could have pulled the chairs away from them when playing musical chairs and kept the music going when the parcel reached them both!! lol

Really, what is the World coming too, surely freedom of choice is a human right? Perhaps they should have handed the invites out after school tho?

but then it isolates those that are not invited.tack by the parent could have been used here.on both sides really.
inviting mates to partys is not part of the school curriculum.so better done out side.
things like this can and do scar children for along time.
bit like doing pe and your left at the end.no one picks you.

Ann GG,
I'm with you.....where was our invite......I'm part of the human race. ( I know some would dispute that ).
so wanna know where my invite is???
wwwaaaahhhh wwwwaaaahhhh.
cmd

I do wonder, if the kids who didn't get invited (particularly the one the child had had a disagreement with) had to be invited in the end, what does that actually teach them?

I could see big problems with these children in a few years time if they apply to university etc and don't get the place they expected to or don't get offered a place where they wanted to go.

Its unrealistic expectations for any human being to assume they will be invited to everything.

People who pander to these wants do nothing to prepare their children and others for the real adult world.

With the spiraling costs of children's parties (If your house is too small for one at home) you are looking at a minimum spend party (for 10 kids) at an indoor play area around £50...more if food is included (we did our own)

Ive known a party to run into about £150 + , all because the parents were frightened to leave anyone out. That's a hell of a lot of cash when you have a family to raise on a small budget.

As I said before.

When mine had a party, 8 other kids were invited, the minimum spend. My kids understood why and made their own choices who they wanted to come .

My kids were not invited to every one of the other kids parties, but again understood a compromise had to be made by the parents like we had to, and it diddnt mean that they were not liked by their friend in question if they were not invited.

This has not scarred them :o))

Instead its enabled them both to have realistic & mature expectations, knowing they cannot be included in everything and to accept this with good grace and move on.

As for the scenario where you dont get picked for PE...I remember that well..and I'm not scarred :o))
I'm also told by my 13 year old that kids will pick their friends first when choosing teams...so its just as well if the kids dont have the shock of their lives when entering secondary school because there will be no pandering there :o))