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HOW TO AMUSE YOURSELF IN TESCOS

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 4 Jul 2008 22:27







Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or
boyfriend along shopping

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in
Oxford :

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and
your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told

shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas
stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
Mission Impossible' theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look'
using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed
the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'

Yours sincerely,
Charles Brown
Store Manager






Wild Cat

Wild Cat Report 4 Jul 2008 22:28

Classic lol

♥**♥Straykitten♥**♥

♥**♥Straykitten♥**♥ Report 4 Jul 2008 22:36

pmsl lmao

even dog is laughing lmao

i said thats the type of thing he wld do hahahaha

SallyF

SallyF Report 4 Jul 2008 22:38

lol

JustJean

JustJean Report 4 Jul 2008 23:03


Its hilarious, thanks Ann, a great laugh,just what I
needed.

Jean x

Jax in Wales

Jax in Wales Report 4 Jul 2008 23:15

pmsl

Ann I have tears streaming down me face at that one it brill

Im gonna have to pinch it off you to dare a friend lol

Izzy

Izzy Report 4 Jul 2008 23:17

my middle two sons think it's most funny to put random things into peoples trolleys when we go shopping at Tesco's for example very attractive young lady would have Tenna Ladys put in her trolley when she's not looking!!, or a balding man would get lusious locks shampoo!!!
their other trick is to wait until i'm in the middle of unloading my trolley then play boggies, knowing i cannot go and hide away from them.
Guess who doesn't take her teenage sons shopping very often!!!

TinaElizabeth

TinaElizabeth Report 4 Jul 2008 23:23

Ann, that was so funny, tears are streaming down our faces, THANK YOU!!!

julia of sussex

julia of sussex Report 4 Jul 2008 23:27

That was the best laugh i've had in ages

thank you


julia xx

Sally Moonchild

Sally Moonchild Report 5 Jul 2008 00:20

My face is aching I am smiling so much......this is great fun Ann......

°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º Little Nanna Lynn °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°

°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º Little Nanna Lynn °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º° Report 5 Jul 2008 00:28

absolutley brilliant

sounds like one of my shopping trips, if i go with youngest daughter, we are terrible when we are together , we can be so naughty pmsl

but i love it


xxLynnxx

TessAkaBridgetTheFidget

TessAkaBridgetTheFidget Report 5 Jul 2008 13:26

nudge for bro

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 5 Jul 2008 14:12

who would ever think you could have so much fun just shopping!!!!

Merlin

Merlin Report 5 Jul 2008 14:32

Nice one Ann,What I would like to do in there is fit a Couple of "Assagis" on the front of the trolley,just to get the idiots blocking the Ailes to shift,would be fun listening to the "Ouches" .**M**.:o)>.

KempinaPartyhat

KempinaPartyhat Report 5 Jul 2008 15:13

we went to Tesco some weeks back and my son kept saying ...

Its ok mum I,ll just get the food then I,ll take you back ...

To avoid anymore problems I walked ahead .....he trailed behind and awhen he was far enough back he shouted

MUM ...they wont take you back if you dont stay with me !!

why cant people just see the funny side of these things

TheLeithLassie

TheLeithLassie Report 5 Jul 2008 17:25

Oh Ann. One word to say














BRILLIANT

Pamela

Pamela Report 5 Jul 2008 18:56

Oh I did laugh . Wish I were younger as somehow don't think it wise for a pensioner to play such tricks, but what a giggle!

Harpstrings

Harpstrings Report 5 Jul 2008 19:00

I dare not read this out to my OH cos he would enjoy doing just that in our local Tesco!

Brilliant. I hope this is for real and not a wind up.

OH used to say to me at the check out "please dont hit me" and people would stare and I am sure they believed he was a battered husband!! I begged him to stop saying it and thankfully he did. Phew!

LOL

Tina x

***Libra Lady***

***Libra Lady*** Report 5 Jul 2008 19:19

That was so funny and so familiar I read it twice and had 2 good laughs
xxxxxxxx

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 5 Jul 2008 19:37

am so pleased you all had a good giggle!!!