General Chat

if you have problems with your mates , Try and talk about them never give up on your mates, always think of the good times and try to sort things out,
You dont want to look back and think you /i made a mistake

You should always talk with your mates and try to make things better
Your mates are always there for you so be there for them
Barrie

However they dont always want to know so be aware.

It's always worth a try, but some people are too lazy to make an effort. I have a friend who is happy to chat for hours if I or another pal phone her, but never calls us, and is not the sort who will offer help if you need it, rather she will come out with an excuse. If she needs help we are always there, or used to be. I haven't heard from her in two years and gave up calling, then the Christmas cards stopped too. I sent a card when I saw in the paper her Mum had died but no call to say thanks or to accept any help I offered.
You can't win 'em all!
Lizx

some things cant be mended,even if it is mates,

Kay
It's always worth a try,
Never give up
Barrie

Sometimes you can only try so many times before you reach your limit even with friends.

Thats a fair point Jax
But how do we know when to stop ?
Barrie

If you disagree with a true friend, you can either agree to disagree and move on, or reconcile your differences.

Failing that, move on with no regrets.

L G - you are so right, my brothers are the same, one didn't even bother with my son's birthday yesterday, fgs, they only have three nephews!!!
Too busy being 'wonderful godparents' to their friends kids to bother with blood relatives, they could have given my son so much support and time, not monetary altho they are very well off, but they never even had him over for a day to give me a break when he was small, me being a struggling single Mum. They never had kids of their own and no one in the family ever heard why, don't think Mum knew either. I know my s.i.l. was never interested when he was a baby, but something my bro once let slip, suggested to me it was her not wanting kids. They have a huge old rectory with numerous bedrooms and five bathrooms, five acres of land and we have been there once! I am sure if I called in, it is 16 miles away in the country, he would make us welcome but it isn't the sort of place you pass by to drop in and I won't invite myself.
You can choose your friends but not your family!
Lizx

Hi, Barrie.

What about the friends you thought were friends but who acted out of that friendship and who now you don't feel deserve your friendship?

And what about the brother who last phoned in October just to shout for about 5 minutes? I don't feel we have anything to say at all to each other any more!

I think yours is a rather romanticised view of friendship!! But I'm glad your mates are worthy of you. The older you get the more cynical you can become.

In life, we all change as our circumstances and lives change, friendships that last a lifetime are incredibly rare I think.

I have three 'best friends' that I would trust with my life....more to the point I would trust my son to them which speaks volumes I think.

One I have been friends with for 20 years the other two are relatively 'new'....
I hope I make as good a friend to them as they are to me...I certainly try never to let my mates down .

La Gooner , I can't..but my mum could have done lol...she and her best friend were friends for 61 years till my mum's death .

xx

I think some friendships have a shelf life and that if there has been a deep hurt or a betrayal then it's sometimes best to walk away head held high, rather than keep beating yourself up by trying to mend things with somebody which can't be mended. xx

I find friendships can become more difficult to maintain as the years go by, and if you are very hurt by someone it makes you wary and not willing to put your heart on the line any more,


Caz xx

La Gooner, I always wanted a sister so when my bro got married I hoped his wife would be a good friend if nothing else, but not to be, altho she doesn't have many friends anyway. Other s.i.l. was always a trouble maker (my parents only tolerated her cos she took my bro away from their house at last, he was 35 and still expecting Mum to wash and iron and cook for him!) and the only friends she has are those she pays for to go on holiday with her when my bro won't leave his business.
I agree you can grow out of friendships and other new or different ones develop over the years. I am still friends with a couple of girls I met aged 11 when we started grammar school together but we aren't close. One friend I do count as a 'stayer' lives in Miami now but we have known each other since 1971, and I hope we will always be in touch, as is the way with my friend in Germany, both of these are Norwich girls, moved abroad, but we have stayed in close touch.

Lizx