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JOKE TO START THE DAY OFF RIGHT!!!

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 16 Jul 2008 11:11

nice one Bob!!

and I do love yours Taff!!

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 16 Jul 2008 01:04

Guy gets stopped for speeding in america....and the copper asks the driver, his job.......I am a rectum stretcher, he says.
the deputy says wow thats weird how does that go? well says the guy, first I get some gel on my fingers and insert one finger , swirl it around a bit till i get two then three, and eventually my whole hand in....... massage a bit till I can get my other hand in and with a bit of persuasion, we can get a rectum about six feet wide...........
Golly gee says the deputy. thats powerful, but what do you then with a six foot rectum?
well says the guy we now call it an Arsole, and we stick it behind a bush with a speed camera in its hand!!!

Merlin

Merlin Report 15 Jul 2008 21:57

Naughty Taff,But Quite Right.**M**.:o))))>

Taff

Taff Report 15 Jul 2008 21:55

One for the welsh men:-
A welsh man walking through a field sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand!
the welshman shouts, "Paid a yfed y dwr mae`r gwartheg yn cachi yn y dwr"
(dont drink the water is full of cows poo)
The man shouts back, "I'me English , I dont understand you" speak English!
The Welshman shouts back, use BOTH HANDS you get more in!!!

Foggy

Foggy Report 15 Jul 2008 21:30

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border
checkpoint.
Paddy, the officer, stops them and tells them: 'It is illegal to put 5
people in a Quattro, Quattro means four'

'Quattro is just the name of the automobile,' the Englishman retorts
disbelievingly. 'Look at the papers, this car is designed to carry five
persons.'

'You cannot pull that one on me,' replies Paddy 'Quattro means four.
You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the
law.'

The Englishmen replies angrily, 'You idiot! Call your supervisor over I
want to speak to someone with more intelligence!'

'Sorry,' responds Paddy, 'Murphy is busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno.'

Merlin

Merlin Report 15 Jul 2008 14:20

Ann,Lovely Joke,pmsl.over it.However,as is said Many a true word said in Jest. Read about the "Spartans" and your joke is truer than you think.**M**.:o)))>.xx.

Stephanie

Stephanie Report 15 Jul 2008 13:30

Ann - great - love it!!! Thanks for a good laugh.

Steph x

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 15 Jul 2008 11:56

according to our local weather chap, it's not true - the legend is that it will rain for forty days if it rains on St Swithins Day!!! Well it was raining when I got up this morning but the sun is coming out now!

cane

cane Report 15 Jul 2008 11:52

Ann does that mean it will rain all day then ?

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 15 Jul 2008 11:42

well years back - centuries - Scotland and Ireland were joined together weren't they and if you go to somewhere like Galloway the accents make you think you're in Ireland

Teddys Girl

Teddys Girl Report 15 Jul 2008 11:39

I have had two Irish Surnames, one my family name, but we originated from Scotland, and one by marriage. Christian name Irish too.

Mo

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 15 Jul 2008 11:36

poor old Irish - always get the flak - and here's me with an Irish surname!!!!

Teddys Girl

Teddys Girl Report 15 Jul 2008 11:34

Another one on the Irish.

The Irish were Egyptians long ago,
You now ask me how I know.
It must have been the Irish who built the Pyramids, who else would carry up the bricks.
It must have been an O'Doyle who would wrestle with a Crocodile.
So the Irish were Egyptians long ago.

Mo

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 15 Jul 2008 10:48

not too near the knuckle for me Bob!!!

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 15 Jul 2008 10:14

It has been determined that the most used sexual position for married couples is the doggie position.



The husband sits up and begs.
The wife rolls over and plays dead.

if thats too near the knuckle, i'll delete it......

Bob

Mauatthecoast

Mauatthecoast Report 15 Jul 2008 10:07

Good morning Ann....norty! lol

Lovely morning here on the NE coast,not sure if it'll be as good as yesterday though, cause it was a scorcher!!

Mau x

Muffyxx

Muffyxx Report 15 Jul 2008 09:24

LOL !!!! That really made me laugh ta lololol xx

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 15 Jul 2008 09:12

Hello you two!! It's raining here in Cardiff and it's St.Swithin's Day!!!

Harpstrings

Harpstrings Report 15 Jul 2008 09:07

LOL
Tina x

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 15 Jul 2008 09:05

A Greek and an Irishman were sitting in a cafe one day discussing who had the superior culture.

Over triple lattes the Greek says, 'Well, we Greeks built the Parthenon,' arching his eyebrows.

The Irishman then replies, 'Well... it was the Irish that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.'

The Greek retorts, 'We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics.'

The Irishman, nodding in agreement, says, 'Irish were the ones who built the first timepieces and calendars.'

And so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.

With a flourish of finality he says, 'The Greeks were the ones who invented sex!'

The Irishman replies, 'Indeed, that is true, but it was we Irish who introduced it to women.