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Why is 'life' so cruel?

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


Mommylonglegs Report 18 Jul 2008 05:00

Some of you may remember that I have elderly neighbours in their mid 80's living across the Road from me.
The telephone rang just turned 4 am this morning and it was J, saying he was all in a muddle and upside down. I went across to find him talking on the phone to a Dr.
He was not in any pain or trouble, just terrified and lonely. i spoke to the Dr and said i would check on him and she said she would call back in a few minutes. After making J a drink and getting him back into bed, I waited for the Dr. to call back. when she did so, I expained the situation. Also that the doctor was only out the previous day to him.

J is ok, but I am so upset that such a wonderful man, an ex head teacher has got to this stage in life where he does not want to live.
His wife has been in a 'home' for the last few months and will stay there for the rest of her life.

It makes one wonder if there really is a God. He takes away all the good and wonderful people, and leaves the elderly and evil folks to live.

An upset Jenny. x


Onwe Report 18 Jul 2008 05:03

Your a good samaritan to help him out.


Mommylonglegs Report 18 Jul 2008 05:13

Hi sparrow, don think I have spoken to you before. Mind you I have not been around for a couple of months.

I feel so upset that there is nothing I can do to help. J is just exsisting and very confused and miserable. It is so hard to see someone just waiting to pass on.
Each day must be absolutley unbearable

I can honestly say, if and when I get to that stage in life, I think I would just end it all with a few tablets and a bottle of Gin.



jgee Report 18 Jul 2008 06:17

Morning Jenny, we could do with a lot more peeps like you in this world, 5 minutes of our time is not a lot to make a elderly person wanted and love.
Jenny you have helped by going to this gentleman,
when you think they have worked and toiled for all their life, when in need in later years most turn away and leave them to die very lonely, its not only the younger generation, some of the middle age ignore the sick and frail, its i'm alright jack and they walk on by


Hoobity Report 18 Jul 2008 06:57

Hi Jenny. I nudged up your thread a few days ago as I was wondering how you were all getting on and hadn't seen you post for a while. It is sad isn't it, poor soul, he must miss his wife and their life together. shirley.x


AnninGlos Report 18 Jul 2008 08:48

One positive thing for him Jenny, he would be a lot worse off if you were not his neighbour. What a kind and caring person you are.


Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 18 Jul 2008 08:59

Hi Jenny, you are a stranger, we must catch up sometime.
I am sorry to see how things have worked out with J.and J, didn't know she was in a home, bless her. It must be so sad and lonely for J. now he doesn't have his beloved wife to care for but he sounds as if he needs to be in a home too now, at least he would have company and be cared for.
I suppose the daughter? is as caring as ever and probably wishes they would both pop their clogs and leave her the house and money instead of having to pay out for the home for her Mum and have the house go downhill. I don't expect J. can do much for himself now, bless him. Thank heavens you can still help him a bit but I agree, life is cruel to leave him like that and yet the evil people in the world sail on regardless, and if they fall in muck, come up smelling sweet.
I hope this dear old couple find everlasting peace together soon.
Hope things are a bit better for you now,


Harpstrings Report 18 Jul 2008 09:38

Bless you for looking after your neighbour. Its a shame he cannot be rehoused with his wife in the home that she is in, as it seems to me he should not be left by himself if he is getting confused. I take it they have not any family close by.

Tina xx


PinkDiana Report 18 Jul 2008 09:45

Its so not fair is it!!!!

(((hugs))) for you all



LadyBarbara Report 18 Jul 2008 09:49

Hello Jenny

When my mum died in Oct (7 years ago now) it left my dad on his own and me 120 miles away. My brother only lived down the road from him and saw him every day and I travelled over every week for a day, but he said it was the lonliness at night that got to him the most, he coped quite well or so I thought but he died 5 weeks later. Didn't want to be without mum, and at the time it was terrible because we'd just lost my father in law. I think it's the lonliness that is the problem, you can only do so much and be there as often as possible, but you may get in touch with age concern and maybe other groups in the area and see what help and back-up they can give him, the Salvation Army and the British Legion (if he has any military background) and even get in touch with the school he was headmaster at. It seems a lot for you but all these organisations can be contacted via the Internet and maybe some of the GR members on here have other ideas. I haven't spoken to you before but you are obviously a lovely person to take such care of someone and it's cheered my day up a bit. xx


Mommylonglegs Report 18 Jul 2008 10:26

Good morning everyone, thank you so much for your replies. I woke this morning, thinking that I shouldn't have posted my thread about how upset I was. That no one would be interested.

I have been back across to see how J is and he is up and about waiting for his meals on wheels lady to bring him his lunch. they usually come around 11.30am. I asked if he would like a bacon sandwich but he said no, so i just made him coffee.

I am wondering now if I should ring his Daughter and tell her what happened in the early hours. I am reluctantant to do this as she is at work, plus she is not easy to talk to, she leaves me feeling as if I am intruding. I believe this is because she feels guilty of not spending as much time with him as she should.

I did ask J if he would like to be with his wife J, but he was adamant that he would not like it, Bless him. He says he has been to see her, but he has great difficulty in getting into his Daughter's car. ( his old car)

Once again, thank you all for you ideas etc.

Jenny xx


Carole Report 18 Jul 2008 10:59

Bless you Jenny, such a caring neighbour. I'd let his daughter know what happened this morning. She might care, she might not, but she should know.

Cumbrian Caz~**~

Cumbrian Caz~**~ Report 18 Jul 2008 11:26

You are a lovely person to have as a neighbour Jenny, the poor chap, I feel so sorry for him,

Caz xxx


AnnCardiff Report 18 Jul 2008 11:38

as he was a head teacher wouldn't you think that there was some Union that he belonged to - surely they should be able to offer some sort of support - I'm sure the Miners Union and other Unions do. Thank God he has you around to keep an eye on things. If he was my Dad no way could I leave him to struggle alone - I know it can be difficult if the daughter has to work - she has her pension to consider too I suppose