General Chat

In the Autumn of last year I started helping someone with her family tree. She had been doing it herself for years but had not really got very far. She lives in Oz and is the wife of one of my late Mum's cousins who emigrated to Australia with his parents when he was only 22 months old. As a consequence my Mum and her sisters had not seen this cousin since he was a toddler. Anyway, this lady was visiting the UK in May for 5 weeks. Unfortunately I was working and was unable to get to meet her on the day she came to my end of the world, but she did visit my Mum's younger sister and spent an enjoyable afternoon. As I knew she was visiting I worked extra hard on her tree - with the help of the wonderful folk on here - and was able to provide a copy of a family tree programme and a back-up disc with all the information on re her family and that of her husband going back to the 1700's. I also printed out how to use the programme etc etc and said if she had any problems, just to get in touch and I would help her out. I was really pleased and excited. She returned to Oz first week in July and I have since then, not heard a solitary word. Now I wasn't expecting gold medals or anything, but I am a bit 'miffed' that I haven't received even a line of correspondence to let me know (a) what she thought of all the info and (b) how she was getting along with the programme. And to add insult to injury, the Aunt she spent the afternoon with has had a short letter saying how nice it was to meet her. Am I being pathetic feeling miffed or what....... perhaps I'm getting old and grumpy!!

no you aint - that is nothing short of pig ignorance on her part!!! Oz is not far enough away in my opinion!!!

I think you are right to be totally miffed and disappointed after all your hard work.
Some people take others for granted and for what ever reason just don't think to say thankyou.
I would have at least sent a massive bouquet of flowers.
I take it you won't be helping her anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THERE are some people who will take take take and not give any thing back even just a card would have been nice it just seems to me that she is very ungrateful for all you have done???????????

Thank you Ann - I feel better now. I thought maybe I was being a bit 'touchy'.

Helen - thanks for that and actually I can't help any more because she has got as much as is possible to get really including all sorts of extra's like what it says in the Dedication Book in a NE church about her husbands father and his service in WW1, their enlistment details and all sorts. Still, a lesson learned methinks.

Oh heck Karen - she would have a fit !! Much as I'd like to do that in a way, I think I will swallow the bitter pill that is disappointment and learn from the experience. I won't be so quick to help again.

nudged so Karen can see I replied to her.

I think I would be tempted to write and ask her if she managed to open the disc etc. Say, as it took you so much time to do you would be disappointed if she didn't manage to view it properly. Se if you can shame her into acknowledging it

Ann
glos

I think Ann's idea is a good one, she might just have meant to write or make contact and it slipped her mind, or she may have sent a card or letter and it got lost in the post. Give her the benefit of the doubt and if you still don't hear from her, then put it down to experience and hope she gets her come uppance some way lol
I would feel the same as you, in fact have often helped people out and not had a word of thanks, o.h.'s sisters come to mind, helped both of them at various times and didn't even get a card for my 60th, Oh they forgot, and then would you believe it, they forgot again this year!!! Yeah right, well I know who to forget when next they want help..sod 'em!

Lizx

I had wondered if they were having trouble opening the disc. My son has put some photos onto discs for me and one of them wouldnt open at all. He did one for himself and he couldnt open it. Others have opened all right. So maybe she is too embarrassed to tell you that it wont open.

Huia.

Oh! MM, the ladies are right!!
Write and ask her hows she getting on with the disk?
Must say, I love karens idea though, LOL,
And it is ignorance on her behalf, unless shes lost the disk and your work????

Disappointing to say the least, if anyone took the time and effort to do the same for me, I would be absolutely delighted, and would make it my business to let them know how appreciative I was. You are not pathetic and have every reason to feel disgruntled. Regardless of whether she was able to open the disc or not, that does not excuse bad manners. Surely she must realise how much time and effort you put in....... BUT, in saying all that, I just received a thank you via email from someone who I helped out back in June with photo's and family tree info. , I had almost written them off...so, maybe she will contact you soon. I hope so !
Just as an aside I am upset and disappointed too, I have just returned from shopping only to find one of my diamond & pink sapphire earrings missing. I phoned the shop and asked them to check the dressing room, but to no avail. I've only had them a month, a gift from my partner and there were quite expensive.... So, it's o.k. to feel cheesed off, for whatever reason.
Regards, Pauline from Oz, P.S. Some of us have manners !

It happens a lot. One lady I helped in that way without a thank you told everyone how easy it was for her to do her family tree and couldn't understand why people had so much trouble tracing ancestors.

I also had done a Cd for her but later discovered I had done a read only disc. I have not told her although I heard she couldn't change anything.

Maybe like me you will have the last laugh.

A thank you costs nothing.

Pat

Margaret, I wish you were one of my rellies ..........
Seriously, I hope that woman fully appreciates everything you've done for her; it I were her, I'd be on Cloud 9 (though thankfully, most of my new-found rellies are lovely).
x