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Carers Anonymous Meeting

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


Huia Report 12 Jun 2009 20:59

Sorry about your problems Bob. I hope all will be better with the newer diagnosis and different meds. I have decided I will have to buy decaff coffee for my Hubby and hide the other for visitors to use. I dont know why he cant drink water like 'normal' people (says she who never drank water when younger). I took a sleeping pill last night, got to sleep quite quickly but Hubby was waking me just about every hour after midnight offering me a cuppa. In fact I think the first time might have been just after 11 but in my befuddled state (due to the pill) I wouldnt swear to that.



Bob78 Report 15 Jun 2009 11:18

Just got an email from Saturday morning daughter about something she had seen on Youtube. It is a great little documentary so it is shared with you all.


Huia Report 16 Jun 2009 02:06

Dianne, I dont drink coffee and I still have quite a bit of the 'proper' stuff here I can keep for visitors. My OH lost his sense of taste and smell quite a few years ago so decaff shouldnt worry him. He can tell the difference between sweet and sour and that is about it.

Off to have a post-lunch nap now.



Bob78 Report 16 Jun 2009 02:19

Hi Dianne and All

Keeping fingers crossed for all changes made. Son's new job involved a welcome conducted on the campus marae with mum and dad invited. It clashed with the day care visit but thought the importance of the family occasion over-rode any risks arising because of rain and cold and bare-feet in Marae, (but had a pair of woollen socks in pocket just in case but which were not needed). BH quietly hummed in tune with the Maori group doing their chant and it was quite a delightful day and glad I "felt the fear and did it anyway". Got approval for an important photo inside with the baby of our family (now 42) so had a great and historic day. It took three carvers three years to complete their works and the surreal aspect was that my forbears on my mother's side were themselves carvers from way, way, way back even said to be back as far as Normandy in 1066.

Jean (Monmouth)

Jean (Monmouth) Report 17 Jun 2009 19:06

Bob, my OH's tree shows several woodworkers of different types. none of them in my OH's generation, but he obviously inherited the skills. Give himea few pieces of wood and he will make something, or turn something. It keeps him occupied and he can get very morose without that outlet.

Jean (Monmouth)

Jean (Monmouth) Report 18 Jun 2009 17:03

Nudge for those too busy at the moment.

Jean (Monmouth)

Jean (Monmouth) Report 19 Jun 2009 19:39

Where have all the carers got too? Have you all gone on strike?


trafiklitedol Report 19 Jun 2009 20:57

Hi All Gone on strike (I wish) Most of the threads about carers seem to be about people with mental problems (please don't get me wrong) I have the greatest sympathy but not all disabilities are the same. There are a lot of charities which seem to deal with specific disabilities i.e. stroke, alzheimer's etc. but for non-catergorised disabillities they seem to fall through the cracks. How many cares fall into this category?


Huia Report 19 Jun 2009 21:04

Hi, Jean. (I wanted to put hygiene!)

I am not on strike, cant afford to be. But I have been busy, going to town one day to do our shopping, then going the next afternoon because OH wanted to get some vege plants. Trying to go through all my boxes of stuff to get rid of as much as I can. Scanning individuals in a group photo taken in 1864 so I can put the photos on my tree. Sending photos and things by email to English relatives.

I forgot to add I had been thinking of getting a calendar of my photos printed - 500 calendars - to sell to raise funds for our local volunteer fire brigade, but a couple of people thought I might have trouble selling that many and now I am dithering about whether to do it at all, after I spent ages deciding which photos to use.

My OH didnt disturb me at all last night. I think it is because he didnt have a drink of tea or coffee after his dinner. I must make sure he doesnt dehydrate, but I will try to suggest he has his drinks before dinner. The previous night at midnight he went outside in his bare feet (remember it is winter here) because he was going to the 'dunny' which he said was a down the path and there was a hole there. I dont know if he was thinking back to his childhood in England. Not sure what the facilities were like in his homes there. We have an indoor loo and have been in this home for almost 36 years now.

Better go and get started on my 'stuff' again after the breakfast dishes have been done.



Huia Report 20 Jun 2009 00:49

trafiklitedol, you are perfectly welcome to let us know about any problems you might have as a carer or even as a cared-for, and any solutions you might have found. This thread is for anybody who cares or is cared for. At least, I hope it is.



Bob78 Report 20 Jun 2009 02:53

Hi trafiklitedol

I suppose I have used the site more than most. I saw that Sharron had just started it and just started chatting about some of the good things happening in our lives as well as some of the more frustrating things as though others were in the lounge having a cup of tea with us. I had never used such a site before, did not know what OH meant nor nudge. But I have got the drift now although I use BH for better half as my own personal preferene. If I have learned anything from this caring business it is that there is always someone else out there who has more responsibilities and problems to deal with than my own. So it is good to be feel free to open up at the times you think are appropriate.

Jean (Monmouth)

Jean (Monmouth) Report 20 Jun 2009 19:44

I look after at a distance, my next door neighbour whose children live away, and she is 92, needs help with some things. My 82 yr old sister livesopposite and she needs help when she cant deal with things. My OH is diabetic , has been for 43 yrs and has problems with it and autonomic neuropathy which affects the bowel. Me, I get over things and soldier on or we would be in a pickle.


Bob78 Report 20 Jun 2009 23:48

Hi Jean(Monmouth)
You certainly are a busy person and so many are able to remain where they are today with your help. One thing that has been the constant advice to me by the professionals is their emphasis on the health and well-being of the caregiver. Without that others lives are so affected.
It is great that you have been able to soldier on.


Huia Report 21 Jun 2009 05:46

Yes, Bob, I keep telling my husband that he needs to take care of me so that I will be able to continue caring for him. Last night he woke me just after 2am asking if I wanted a cuppa. He kept asking every 5 or 10 mins until I got up about 2.45 to play on my computer while he was up. He had his breakfast at 3 am. Finally got back to bed about 5 and said I didnt want to be woken before 8 but he woke me at 7 with the offer of a cuppa. We went shopping later and I bought decaff tea bags and coffee but I have told him he should have 2-3 cups of whatever about 4pm and then no more than 1 at about 6.30pm. Perhaps then he wont wake so much at night.



Bob78 Report 21 Jun 2009 09:43

Hi Huia

What an attentive your OH is with all those offers of cups of tea. But there are only so many cups you can handle in a day and then ONLY at times when you can "really enjoy a nice cup of tea!" I must be fortunate in that such a skill is has long since left my BH. Had coffee with daughters this afternoon (instead of the new regime of Hot Chocolate) and the taste and smell was not appreciated at all. Have had no more fainting spells thankfully so may revert back to coffee and hope that it is the revised medication that is doing the trick.


Huia Report 21 Jun 2009 20:56

My husband didnt have any cuppas after dinner last night and he didnt wake me up through the night so I had a good sleep. I hope it continues like that, but we will have to try him on the decaff some time, if he wants a late drink.



Huia Report 22 Jun 2009 20:48

Another good night last night. I hope I have found the answer. Just a pity I had not realised much sooner what the problem was, if it was the late drinks.

Off to town this morning to get the radiator in our ute looked at. It has a leak somewhere :((( and was bone dry before we went out on Sunday. Perhaps if my hubby offers me a cuppa in the middle of the night I should tell him to give it to the ute instead.



Huia Report 23 Jun 2009 04:43

We arrived home in a taxi about half an hour ago. Our ute needs a new water pump :((( and it will cost over $1000. They have to get the parts in. It was a toss up between getting a taxi home ($75 or $85) or staying in a motel. I decided to come home as I have various pills and eye drops to take. I will make sure I take them with me when we go in again in the morning just in case the job isnt fixed by the end of the day, then we can stay at a motel. I have an appointment at 10 am otherwise I could just ring up to see if the wagon is fixed and then call for a taxi to take us in. We live about 30 km from the place where the garage is, and 23 km from the place for my appointment and there are no buses to take us in to the nearer place.



+++DetEcTive+++ Report 23 Jun 2009 08:41

Glad you seem to have cracked the getting up in the night thing. Do try Decaff, but remember that as we get older (gents in particular) we do seem to need the loo more.

Hope the car is fixed quickly. If you had to stay overnight, it may be unsettling for OH (and you)

Jean (Monmouth)

Jean (Monmouth) Report 23 Jun 2009 15:19

Governments want us to use our cars less, but for people like us there is no alternative. You cant take someone who is dependant on pills and handy loos on a bus which may not run a return journey for three hours or more. Thats if you have a bus service.
Ours is a EU funded service twice a week and you Must ring up the day before, before 12 md or you will not be allowed on the bus even if it is nearly empty. Just too bad if you suddenly need to go to the Drs or you need to get somewhere urgently.