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Another blow for Dutch. Nudged for Dutch today

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 1 May 2011 04:31

I spoke with Joyce yesterday afternoon and she is in lots of pain but anxiously and excitedly waiting for news of her latest great grandson's birth. I am sure she will be cheered when she hears he is safely here, especially now he has turned round and is facing the right way, with his head down and ready to appear if he hasn't already since we spoke.

The results of her daughter's inquest will have set her mind at rest a bit, so hopefully things will become a little more peaceful for Joyce, and she can enjoy her visit in three week's time and the meet with her new grandson as well as the meet with other members of GR.



YorkshireCaz Report 30 Apr 2011 19:26

Nudging this for Joyce, hope it is the one you meant Joyce, took ages to find.

Love Caz xx


AnninGlos Report 13 Nov 2010 09:15

Nothing more I can add Joyce, there is a lot of good advice on here. Please listen to your friends.


JustJean Report 13 Nov 2010 09:01

Joyce, I agree with Liz, you must let go now,you cannot carry all the troubles on your back , time for you and Jan to enjoy each other and whatever happens, your family will exsist with or without your help...shake this load off your shoulders and be happy , we all need to count our blessings however large or small. take care my friend....

love and prayers, Jean xxx

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 13 Nov 2010 07:31

Joyce, those ashes were going to be spread on the Mersey at first, so they would have gone to the water and the wind. They aren't your daughter, her soul has long gone to a better place and this is just not worth making yourself more unwell over.

Leave them to argue amongst themselves if they must, what goes around comes around and you have done all you can to help all the family - leave them to it now and look after yourself and Jan.

I am sorry you have more bad news about relatives, you look after Jan and his Mum and let them help you in return.



Cath2010 Report 12 Nov 2010 18:56

Joyce, please take care of yourself. This is all so stressful for you and you must look after your own health.
Hopefully a solicitor might be able to help you out.
Thinking of you,

Cath xx


Sallie Report 12 Nov 2010 18:34

Oh Joyce, I'm so sorry to hear about Jan's cousin's wife. Thinking of Jan and his family.

You have done all you can about your daughter's ashes, Joyce. As Caz said, your son must know that he's in the wrong, but someone else might be behind it. That's probably how it is, so wait and see until you know the facts, because sooner or later they will come out.

So, please don't make yourself ill over it all, you have done your best and can't do no more. You have to put you and Jan first now Joyce, you are the important ones.

Take care!

Love and best wishes to both of you.


YorkshireCaz Report 12 Nov 2010 13:58

Joyce love, let it go, you have done all you can and are only getting yourself upset by it all. M must know he is in the wrong and I am surprised by what he has done but someone else might be behind it so don't think too badly of him until you know the facts.
Speak tomorrow.

Love Caz xx


dutch Report 12 Nov 2010 13:25

Thanks Caz ,undertaker phoned me back and said he was sorry it was there fault that my son was allowed to take the ashes and i told him what was going on,and he said her children are her next of kin not the others and that the g,father had no right to buy aplot so now just have to wait and see i have done my best ,and he has Danni,s number so he can ring her i told him what the daughters of my daughter wanted but my son who was always close to me is now siding with his father who he cant stand ,the reason Money so im done with the lot of them and i dont care if they dont speak to me ,i have done whats right for my g,daughters talk to you tomorrow


YorkshireCaz Report 12 Nov 2010 11:16

So sorry to hear about Jans cousins wife Joyce, will be thinking about her and sending positive thoughts, I too hope she isn't in too much pain.
Look forward to our Saturday natter tomorrow.

Caz xx


dutch Report 12 Nov 2010 09:43

Good Morning Ladys,have rung the undertakers and told them what has happen and they said if my g,son could,nt pick them up then the ashes should have come back to them ,anyway she is going to find out and ring me back,we had some more bad news last night Jans mum rang his cousins wife is dying of cancer she has just given up ,cant go the toliet or anything has been ill for about 18mths chemo has,nt worked ,so another blow for the family were will it all end thoughts and prayers needed for Mick his wife Sian and family just hope shes not in too much pain,only in her early 50,s


KempinaPartyhat Report 11 Nov 2010 17:34

The rules here are quite tight I found out about a year ago

So I,m sorry to say I think the bloke who picked them up gave a wrong name coz they wouldnt have just given them away they are not allowed

Ring a solicitor and see what can be done

Gwyn in Kent

Gwyn in Kent Report 11 Nov 2010 17:22

Perhaps your grandaughters could contact Citizens Advice or even a solicitor who will give a 30minute advice session.
Could someone in the family contact the cemetery where the aunt in Liverpool is buried requesting a delay if burial of the ashes is requested.?

This needs to be done within England really as it is an added stress for you at an already very difficult time.



AnninGlos Report 11 Nov 2010 16:56

It does seem strange Joyce that they said her daughters were not able to collect the ashes but then her brother, your son was. Is there any chance he misrepresented himself as the son rather than the brother? Unfortunately you are up against the clock here as the ashes are already in the wrong hands and there is nothing you can do from Holland to stop them.

Although it seems hard, and I do understand how you feel, Jan is right, you don't need to be making yourself ill over this. Your daughter is at peace, take the time you need to mourn her, don't worry about the ashes, she would not want you to.



Sallie Report 11 Nov 2010 16:29

Joyce, I would have thought that your daughter's children are her next of kin, and that they should be the ones to decide what they want to do with their mother's ashes. Is there any way that they can get their mother's ashes back off your son? At the end of the day it isn't anything to do with your son.

I can understand Jan telling you to let it go, as he doesn't want you to get upset and make yoursef ill---but I also know where you are coming from, Joyce.

Pleased you enjoyed your ride in your wheelchair, it will be great when you get it back in a few weeks time, there'll be no holding you then.lolol!! Seriously though, it will be great for you to get out and about to visit people so that you have a bit of company while Jan's in work.

Caz, how are you feeling today? I hope that you are starting to feel a little bit better than you've been over the last few weeks. I'm thinking about you!



YorkshireCaz Report 11 Nov 2010 15:52

nudging this for you Joyce, I said everything this morning so won't comment now.

Caz xx


dutch Report 11 Nov 2010 11:07

GoodMorning All ,First of all would like to thank my pal Caz as althought shes not well has been my rock at this time of my need ,and thank you all for your kind messages ,cards pm emails and flowers had lady come before with wheel chair which you can take wheels off and pedals,and scooter mobile had ago round the block and its great have to wait now for 3.4 weeks for it ,but now i need you my friends on this because its stressing me out ,Jan has said to let it go but i cant when my daughter was creamated it was down to her son to pick her ashes up ,but he did,nt so his sisters ask if they could pick them up but were told no only your brother can,but my youngest son he went for them and gave them to my other son,now my g,children want there motheres ashes put on there sisters grave who is buried with my parents,but my ex-husband has said shes going in with his brother which i dont think is right he has never botherd with any of his g,children and my g,daughters are so upset how do they get the ashes back as legal they are my daughters next to kin,does anyone have advice or thoughts on this ,i have tried ringing advice centres but cant get thru ,i want this sorted out before the ashes leave Sheffield for Liverpool,then i can tell my g,daughters what they need to do,and once again thank you all so much for your surport


Persephone Report 10 Nov 2010 23:41

What is it with planes these days - they are continually having some malfunction - I am starting to wonder about the maintenance and the checks made thereafter.

I will place a wish in your wishing well that Jan made (in my thoughts) for you Joyce and wish you a very good recovery..... wondering if you might need skates on your wheelchair if this winter is going to be like the last one.

Lots of love and hugs Norma


Sallie Report 10 Nov 2010 22:32

Joyce, hope you are feeling better and that all is well with Jan and his family.

Take care! Speak to you soon.



TessAkaBridgetTheFidget Report 10 Nov 2010 22:17

I hope that the plane is soon sorted, so that Joyce can get home in the warm.

Take care Joyce,
Thank you ladies for keeping us all updated,