General Chat

May 16th CC?, crikey, that is soon. Good luck for a speedy recovery. Please hemail us when you are able.

Lesley, your hair is, err, 'bright'.... Thought I was seeing a jazzed up Mrs Brown ... What's with the whistle?. You turning a trick or summat?

Teresa, fruits eyes are not square - yet.. he does manage to hobble to the kitchen to feed himself... Funny that ;-). He was to depart tomorrow morn with his blister, but seems she is leaving a tad too early for me laddo. Another night here it would seem :-). Good luck to FTY with his exams (shuddering at the thought). Can't wait to hear about FTE's adventures.

Petunia, for a minute there, I thought you were referring to CC :-D. I should have known better :-(. Hope your toes have dried sufficiently?. We are having a lovely bit of sunshine but wouldn't you know it, rain is coming from Friday... I am trying to keep up with the falling leaves, rake as I might, there are always more on the ground... Oh well, tis Autumn ;-).

I am currently cooking a curry, Massaman. Hopefully the meat will be tender by the time we eat... Naan bread at the ready - yum. We are rather partial to a good curry. Not sure if this will be a good one though :-D :-D.

Enjoy your breakfast, have a lovely day

Toodles

So soon CC! it would be wonderful if you could make the 16th. x

I've turned our rads up this evening, brrrrrrrrrrr it's freezing :-(

good evening ladies, I too am positively waterlogged and had to change my clothing when I returned home from the emporium where Every Little Helps. I dont have to think about getting webbed feet - I was born with webbed toes on each foot - two toes on each foot are conjoined - very annoying ..... and these days very painful, with the arthritic changes in my feet.

Teresa I can feel your excitement from here, dear. I saw a mug in Tesco today, it said "keep calm and put the kettle on".

Susan the two whimsies I bought on Sunday are squeezed into the whimsie cabinet. One is an "oddity" - two pieces that were fused together during the making, and oddities can become rarities worth a lot of boodle one day!

Lesley I had a letter from the hospital asking me to phone them, which I did, and they have offered me an appt re my right hip, for the 16th. MFH says he will make sure he is free to take me there.

Come now Petunia dear, dont feel so "left out" over not having any Fruits of your own. I might have had Offspring, but I still have to shift for myself. At least you have Pat rish aaaaah .........

............... but surely the thundering lump of lard you refer to should be stored in the refrigerator? or it wont be fit for cooking with.

I have had a nasty shock in the post - a letter from the power company. In spite of paying monthly by direct debit, we owe them money. Although I have now paid off the deficit owing against the last four quarters, they are still increasing the direct debit because we used more juice during the winter months. How else were we meant to keep warm ??????? The main problem was that as fast as I walked around turning the radiators down, the GOG was walking behind me turning the rads up again. :-S

Good evening gels, what a damp day it has been. I have perambulated with Trickey Woo a couple of times today, and got soaked..................must look to see if my feet are webbing.

How lovely you all have your fruits to look after you in your old age [not that you are old dears] I have that lump of lard that thunders across the passage, but not that she is much company!!!!

I hope you are all well gels, and keeping dry.

Pip Pip
Auntie Petunia

Ooh Susan don't you like my new hair colour :-0

My MOG also likes to watch car and motocross racing ................................ two hours of vroom, vroom, vrooooooooooooming .............. how interesting ............. not.

Teresa not long now for your happy reunion :-D and seeing your wonderful seeing gifts from all the different countries FTE has visited.

By any chance have you got a spare bed in your caravan that is parked at the University Trust ....................eldest fruit has resumed work (two and a half day's a week) and already she is being asked to work overtime :-( mostly on the twilight shift, I'm sure she appreciate not having to drive home at midnight.

Auntie Petunia another lucky escape :-0 aren't there any lively genuine gentlemen old soldiers that you could grab .................................... oops I mean walk out with :-)

Another shopping spree CC tut tut ........................... any news on your appointment yet?

By now Susan you will be hair free :-D

I do hope your poor fruit is not google eyed watching the TV all day. The devils x box is banned for two weeks. FTY has GCSE exams and is in revision mode with a quick kick up the do dah :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

FTE will be home very soon now. Im sure she will have aquired many many things :-| FTE is home for three weeks and then off again for another six months. She will be home at Christmas which will be nice :-D :-D :-D

~~~~~ to one and all


Teresa

Morning girls....

Petunia, yet another photygraph of your good self? What a lovely supply you have :-S..

Glad to hear you had a spiffing time with the old boys, bit of a blow that you were all stiff and sore... Yes I know that age is only a number, just try telling that to them old bones :-D.. I must say I prefer a 5 star establishment any day :-D. My experiences with camping have left a lasting impression,,, suffice to say, I shall not be camping ever again if I can help it. :-)

CC, did you find a home for your latest whimsies?.. Why do you make more dusting for yourself?.. My OH likes motorsport too. I myself don't mind a bit, V8's to be precise. Down under we have a series (mostly in Oz), used to be Holden v Ford.. Now the racing has been opened up to 'other' makes :-P. My OH is in the 'red' camp, a workmate in the 'blue' camp.. Makes for some interesting conversations :-(.. Early June is not that far away is it...

~~~ to Teresa, you must all be beside yourselves with excitement at your wanderers return.. Have you steeled yourself for the incoming 'bits and bobs ?. How many trips is FTE to do per year?. You may need to upsize your home :-D.. Or rent a storage shed ;-). How long before Fruit is orf again?

~~~ to Lesley, are you hiding until your hair colour has returned to normal? ;-). Hope all is well with you and yours...

I am orf to be shorn this morning. I missed my last appointment due to our family bereavement, appointment completely slipped my mind. I am now feeling very hairy and 9am can't come quick enough..
My male fruit is home for a few days. He is pretty much house bound with his ruddy leg in a plaster. He is near to stir crazy, luckily he can while away the day watching the tele :-|..

I made an executive decision yesterday, I booked OH and I a weeks holiday from early September :-D. I was only going to the travel agent to enquire :-D... Roll on September I say.

Better rattle me dags and get a move on, have a pleasant evening all.

Susan

It was meeeeee :-D

Auntie did not know me in my all weather sou wester and wellies trying to avoid the May showers. I was looking for a nook or cranny to store the stuff which FTE is bound to bring back to blighty.


Mind you I too saw some geezer who I did not know or was it a gal. One cannot always tell these days with the garments some people wear :-S

Tootling orff to send out a search party for Lesley and Susan



Teresa

WOT WOT WOT ....... what on earth is all that screaming and screeching Petunia dear. Do we have intruders? or Space Invaders? I certainly have Space Invaders on the patio and all over the garden, I have had to spend some of my Cleaning Time boiling kettles to kill marauding ants.

You dont look at all well Petunia dear, it must be the shock. I recommend a cup of camomile tea, and you must rest for a while. Here, I shall put the television on for you. How about a nice Shopping Channel ??? ;-) or the Jeremy Kyle show ....... :-D

Now tell CC - who did you see in the hallway?

#creaking of floorboards in hallway#

Cherry dear, Cherry! CHERRY!!!!! Dont try and cock and deaf ear dear, I KNOW you can hear me! Creeping along the corridor like that! I can recognise your footsteps dear. I know Pat-trish-aaaaah when she thunders along, she is like a fairy elephant. I also know dear Mrs Berry. She has metal Blakeys on her shoes, and makes marks on the parquet flooring.

#walks to door, and opens its#

Now Cherry dear.............................................

Aaaaaaargh

.who in the name of all the Saints are you?

*staggers into drawing room and collapses on sofa* .....

do excuse me bringing a cheap china mug into the drawing room ladies, but I couldnt wait for the finesse of bone china and silver salvers, I needed a hot drink like ten minutes ago.

I have had to drive myself outside of my Comfort Zone and am still recovering from the harrowing experience. MFH refused to take me to Potters Bar today, because of the wretched motor racing. And I wanted to go. So I took meself. I regret to say I could not resist two Whimsies which were £1 each. I do like a bargain. But where to put them, for the cabinet is full ... decisions decisions.

at least you played Soldiers, Petunia dear, and not doctors and nurses !! You seem more cheerful today, thank goodness. You do meet some rum gentlemen, do you not. Bounders and Cads all of them. Never mind, tomorrow is another day, all is not lost, and there are plenty more fish in the sea. Rest assured that we ladies will scrutinise any gentleman of the opposite gender who wanders across our horizon and ensure he is a suitable companion and/or escort for your good self.

I have some good news to impart. Yesterday the mailman delivered me an envelope from Ernie, containing a cheque for £25. Now, I had just purchased an oak cutlery canteen (empty) from HeeBay, which cost me exactly that amount of money, paid for out of my pension wot I am saving for a minor operation only available privately, and now I can "put that £25 back" ergo the cutlery box has cost me nothing. Those are the best kind of bargains are they not ?? :-D

*slurps hot tea from mug* aaaaah sigh. Oi, be grateful I didnt come in with the brandy bottle. :-D :-D :-P :-P

#Attention stand by your beds!!!!!!#

Private Mortimer 7654321, standing by my bed, at attention Sarh!

And so it went on.....................what larks we had on Friday and today.

As you know I graciously went to visit the Old Soldiers and Sailors Home, and we played 'soldiers'. We marched, we drilled, we went to the canteen, we went orienteering and we spend last night in a bivvy. There was a separate bivvy for my goodself, but we spent the night under the stars.

I must say I am more than a little stiff today, as are the gentlemen. But such is life and we had such fun, it cheered me, and goodness knows I needed a bit of a boost.

So..............back to the humdrum tomorrow dears, I do hope you all had a jolly weekend, and trust you are all well.

Pip Pip
Auntie Petunia

its a long way to Tip our Mary ......... !

#peers into mirror, and sighs very loudly#

Dear, oh dear, what a silly gel I have been.............so near and yet so far............if only..................what if......................#sobs and blows nose loudly#

Ah well, tomorrow is another day, as dear Scarlett said, and she was probably right............as were you dear gels. The kidnapping was a little crude I thought, but needs must when the devil...............

So............................dear Teresa, your little one is returning to the fold for a period. I do hope she will bring you a kiwi cloack, a Tikki to hang around your neck, a kimono for when you pour tea, and a sari for when you do the shopping. Just clear our your bedroom dear, I am sure she will be able to store her goodies in there.

I must say I did not appreciate the humble pie dears, it was a little burnt around the edges.................as was I!

Now........................................the Old Soldiers have not had the benefit of my company for a few weeks, so tomorrow I will bless them with my wit, good ideas and patronage in the morning.

#Pack up your troubles in the your old kitbag, and smile, smile, SMILE!!!!#

AP

yes indeed Teresa I bet you cannot wait to see FTE again and no doubt she will regale you all with tales of her doings and viewings. Such excitement!!

I think some space might be cleared in the basement for all the extras that your FTE is bringing back with her, but I have already reserved several rooms on the first floor of the West Wing of Motie Towers for my various River and Heeebay purchases so there wont be any space to be found there. Alternatively, you could try the North Wing. I dont like the rooms there very much, they are a tad cold and damp, being closer to the Arctic Circle.

The nectarine went down very well thank you dear, and now look at all the juice stains spattered down the front of my white top. Not wishing to sound ungrateful dear but next time please do send some serviettes down the cyberhatch as well. Or a bib with guttering :-D ;-)

Well I took dear Petunia a tray of tea and muffins, I heard her mumble something about "stud muffins", then the plate and muffins was thrown out of the window onto the gravelled path below. But when I took her the plate of humble pie so kindly provided by yourself, I think she was hungry by then because she ate the lot.

I havent seen much evidence of Pat rish aaaaah the day, but there has been a lot of sniggering coming from that young lady's boudoir ....... :-D

Coooeee Cherry dear, i will send some humble pie for Auntie to eat and a cyber necterine for you. Got them orff the market today and they are yummmy

Teresa x

oooh tuttttty tut tut and more tuts.

Auntie, it is for the best, its always the best in the long run, and we your loyal pals always know best.

Now go and snaffle a muffin or two and change that dress into somthing more cheerful. The sun was out earlier, the birds are trilling a happy tune and hanging around the patio for some more of Bill Oddies mealworm mix and........................
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I need a loan of the tuk tuk and a Pickfords removal van. FTE is to return next week and although she departed last October with enough baggage to sink a ship so to speak, she apperars to have aquired a lot more :-S
We are to bring the large suitcase, empty of course to fill with stuff. Now FTE is a bit of a magpie and likes bits and bobs. She has mentioned some of the items she has bought around the globe. Ladies is there any spare space at the Towers to store the toot er items?

We also need manpower so the more the merrier. We may even be able to find a naice Gentleman of means for Auntie :-D

Breathing a sigh of relief that Aunty has seen the light


Teresa

The Beatles song "Baby's in Black" comes to mind, for some strange reason .....

well gels, at least dear Petunia has finally seen the light, even if it was blinding. It was blindingly obvious to us .....

Once again, dear Petunia was almost conned by people who were merely after the money she keeps claiming she does not have. But, we know better, dont we, and therefore we must protect our interests. correction - Protect Petunia's interests. Anyway, if there was any trouble, Colin could always have been paid off with a pretty dress and accessories.

I'll give her half an hour to decomp ..errrrrr. compose herself, then I will take her a tray of tea and freshly baked muffins.

Why are you all cackling? Did I say something ????????? ;-) :-D

#thinks# why is it so dark, I am sure my eyes are open, but it is totally black, and I cannot move either, what the heck.....................................?

Golly gosh, the light is blinding, I need to blink a couple of times for my eyes to adjust to the light.....................however, my hands seem to be on a very cold surface, and my feet seems unable to move....................oooooh, now I am beginning to focus a little. Aaaaah!

Now where am I? Sitting in my own dear little Parlour, with.....................ooooooh, what are you doing here? Is this some kind of inquisition dears?

Cherry you are always here [like the proverbial] but Teresa dear, are you inbetween shifts dear? And the pink hair? Ooooh Lesley, you do look..............erm striking dear. And what is that noise, oh now that is a novelty, Susan speaking via a Blooooooberry. Well dears, what can I do for you all?

I am most delighted you are all here dears, but if I could have my hands freed, and maybe untie my feet? No, not yet? Maybe later then? OK we will see then...........

Yes, I understand that you are worried by the haste in which James and I are to be married......................no, I am not being carried along by it all..........yes, I have thought it through carefully.............no I am not clutching at straws..............yes of course I remember the last debacle with dear Patrick and that woman Juana.......no of course I will not give up Motie Towers, does not Camilla keep her own house too............yes of course I will listen to you all...............I may not take any notice but I will listen.

Whats that dear? Am I sure it is a real diamond? Is there any other kind? Does it cut glass? Why do you have reason to think I am about to become a glazier? Of course I will try it..................................urrrrrrgh, I am pressing very hard, maybe I am holding it at the wrong angle...............urrrrrgh, I am straining here..................oh..........................not there is no mark on the glass at all.............how very odd. Let me take the ring off, and try it again...............whats that dear? The hallmark? I never was very good at that sort of thing, all those lion heads and numbers..................oh..................there is no pictures, just a few words.........erm, pass the pince nez dears, now lets see D-I-A-M-O-N-I-C-K. Does that mean that it is a Cyprus ring dear, does it come from Nicosia. Ah, Nicosia, I remember dear Jean sending messages to our dear boys over there..........................whats that dears? Not a real diamond? Really? Are you sure?

#blusters# I think you are being very unfair dears, I think ..............................whats that dears? What is that you are waving in front of me? It seems like a photograph with text underneath it.................is it some kind of Actors resume? No? Then what is it dears? Something more sinister? really, how sinister?

A.................resume for a dating agency..................what is that dears...............oh............do those kind of things exist? They offer a good time? Well of course people like a good time, a nice cup of tea and a gypsy cream, how good is that? Not that kind of good time? Then what? Oooooooh...................how horrid! What is the name of this agency then gels? StudMuffins Are Us.........................what exactly is..........ooooooh I feel quite faint............

#sharp intake of breathe and head pulls back# By golly those smelling salts are strong dear, is that a new bottle? Jolly powerful!!

And now I suppose you are going to say that James' family is not his own too? Oooooh, how disappointing.........I thought I was to have a ready made family with dear little ones running around......................and Colin?

James is his 'uncle'. Why are you saying it in that way dears, why the inflection in the voice when you say uncle? Oh!!!!!!!

Let me free dears, I feel I want to be on my own now.............I am going to bed.................good night all.


#walks away sobbing gently#