General Chat

David my husband said that to a holiday rep when we were needing help and she did nothing for us let alone be in hotel when she was meant to be.
She wasnt very pleased lol

Billy Connolly once recounted how at one live show
he was as welcome as a fart in a space suit.

A joke from school.
It doesn't write well but you might get it if you say it out loud.

How does a scotsman sound his Rs?


(You have to blow a raspberry as an answer)

How does a policeman part his hair?

Answer is to do that knees bent 'Evening all' that Dixon of Dock Green used to do.

My Father would some times say blow it out ya Rs

juvenile, but verrrrrrrry funny:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09abF7ZUNnk

Lovely story Maggie :-D :-D

My sister & I were in a gift shop once. There was only us, the lady on the counter and one other customer, another woman on the opposite side of the shop..
All of a sudden, the other customer 'let rip'. silence followed and she carried on as if nothing had happened.

Me, being the mature soul that I am, went into paroxysms of silent laughter. this set my sister off, and her shoulders started shaking as she tried to stifle her giggles.
I indicated the door (in other words - lets get out), but she wouldn't. By now we both had tears rolling down our cheeks - I glanced over to the lady on the counter - we set hr off, and she slowly slid down behind the counter - which set me off again.
I left my sister behind and shot out of the shop.
She followed a couple of minutes later - we shot off to the loo - well stumbled, trying to hold each other up, as, by now, we were both near to wetting our pants.
When we could eventually breathe amd speak, she said she was trying to behave normally as she didn't want to embarrass the lady! Normally? With her face screwed up, shoulders shaking, nose running and tears rolling down her face???

All the 'parper' had to do was say 'pardon', and we would have been okay

Laydeez breeeeeeathe :-D

Men fart.

Women do puffs of lavender.

That's the story I'm sticking to lolol

lol.No secrets with kids about.

Too much of the truth sometimes.....my nephews were staying not so long ago..........their Mum came to pick them up and they said Mum do you know *Mersey* has 22 toilet rolls......!! I was mortified I had that many pmsl :-D

Very true Mersey lol

:-D :-D Marion.....kids speak the truth lololol ;-)

I'll never forget my then 8yr old son gave me a real red face.
I thought I was being 'sneaky' very quiet,silent but deadly as the saying goes lol.when my son in a very loud voice said 'Mum was that you? The shop was crowded lol.

Marion

Are you telling porkies Marion ;-)...

Forget the cure David.....Think we all know there isn't one, Just invest in more scented candles!!

OR.. Strike a match (works better in bathroom than any sprays)

Love the poems.. haven't heard Stephens before :-D :-D :-D

Was the cat.I dont do things like that ;-)

Marion!!! was that you or the pussycat :-D ;-)

Parrrp

I have just been asked did it echo down the passage OMG........i cant breathe :-D :-D :-D :-D <3