General Chat

I lost a very dear friend of 55 years last Jan wewent to school back in the 60s then we moved away, anyway in oct last year she was told she had cancer, we talked on the phone or we text each other and we told each other that we loved each other because it was a very special friendship. and it nothing to do with the love I had for my late husband or her love for hers or her partner. I talk to her partner two or three times a month because he finding it very hard.

Of course there is a bit of "Poor me" Harry.........you wouldn't be human otherwise.

It is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.

You take care now.........

Prickles. xxxx

I will make my last call on this one. Wish i could thank you all personally. Ann- hope I can say the same thing in time. There is a bit of poor me in all this and it makes me feel guilty.

Finding out what others think, have experienced and coped with;, was part of the exercise.

Best wishes Happy days

thank you Sylvia - all over now and he's at peace - been just over ten years now and I can talk about it without getting upset - music does it for me every time!!!!

by the way, would not wish for anyone to think I have posted this as a "poor me" - definitely not - I did think that at the time but not any longer - I think "lucky me" to have had a marriage that lasted 43 years to someone I loved to bits :-D :-D :-D

Oh Ann, I really feel for you. That was awful for you both to go through. You should take comfort in knowing you were with him to the end and it was very quick.
Bless you.xx

Just repeating myself.. So grateful for the messages and concern. Will try and incorporate the advice given. Perhaps one day i may need to, Ann - lovely thought on your part.

Heartfelt thanks to you all.. Happy days

Harry...

Is there a right or wrong way?

Just do it your way.

I feel your pain and my heart sincerely goes out to you.

Prickles. xxx
<3

Harry - I am always available for chats by telephone, email or message on here - if at any time you feel the need to unburden yourself, feel free to contact me - I'm a good listener [and talker] and I donlt cry about it now :-) :-) <3

Hi Brenda - Lawrence had fibrosing alveolitis which is like asbestosis - a fibrous tissue grows over the lungs stopping them from expanding until in the end they seize up altogether and it's as if the sufferer is drowning - ghastly - still, he was home until the day he died - had to go to hospital a few hours before - we were just about to do a crossword puzzle when he said "I think you'd better get someone" and by the time I got a nurse - about two minutes, he was flailing all over the bed - a shot of morphine ended things immediately - my one regret is that I cried "He's going, I can see it in his eyes" and those would have been the last words he would have heard - I so much regret that

Harry I have been through the same situatiion and can truly say I feel you pain. There are no easy, right or wrong answers, just do what your heart tells you. I hope that you can hold onto the good memories you have shared, and these will help you both to ease the pain.

Harry,

Include some laughter each day,



include lots of love,

include days that will remain a happy memory.

.



<3

Again lovely replies for which i am very grateful. Don't think any further help is needed PM wise (thanks Brenda) as of now, as it is the early stages of a downward path.

Knowing what others are going through and have suffered clears my mind somewhat.

God bless you all.

Happy days

My thoughts are with you Harry and your loved one <3

My heart goes out to all of you on here who have lost loved ones in any way.
<3

Ann.....strangely we did talk about it.he was so philosophical about it.
He was given 18 months ..it wasn't cancer,was pulmonary fibrosis eating away and netting of the lungs....when he had this prognosis I said...we will have to prove them wrong..and he had more than three years over that...a lot of this was medication,but his relaxed attitude helped...also being at home with one to one care!

The last Christmas he bought me a white gold necklace that my friend got for him and when we had a new year drink he said he wouldn't see another Christmas...of course I said don't be silly..no one knows what's in store...but we both knew.
Until the last month his spirit was good,but due to being messed about with hospitals and left outside our front door by ambulance drivers who wouldn't lift him in his wheelchair over the ledge of double glazing on our porch..he went down.
My regret is that I had to let him go into hospital a the end as I knew he wanted to be home.bur that wasn't to be.

Thinking of you Harry, and Mrs H. BC XX <3

did you find it difficult to talk about though Brenda? We never discussed it cos we just couldn't - we walked out of the hospital after getting the diagnosis and prognosis [five years] in a stupor - I thought 5 years!!! OMG, that's no time, but in the end it was less than one. I used to sit in the evening and look at him sitting on the other side of the room wondering what life was going to be like, when would it happen, how would it happen - no one would tell us. I began planning the funeral - the hymns and trying to put together an obituary for the newspaper and then the tears would start and I'd have to leave the room - people wouldn't believe me that he was dying as he looked absolutely fine - still we had 43 years of marriage and I feel we were lucky in that respect

It is hard Harry whichever one it is.
I cared for my husband for 5 years..the last 2 were horrendous.I didn't sleep properly as I was constantly on alert.We both knew he was dying ,but we laughed a lot,I only got out for 2 hours a week to shop,he was on 36 pills a day and top oxygen...sometimes I had a little weep on my own....but you know...I would do it all again if I had to...I know we made the best of what time we had.

He died 15 months ago and I have tried to make a life for myself..not easy as you have to push yourself,but I have made new friends,been to Oz on my own to stay with family had a trip to Guernsey I go to a drop in morning at Carers Outreach where I met people who understand what you go through.I do make friends there.

The person who is dying doesnt want you to mope,so it's important to stay strong.
You get your moments when you feel lonely,but life has to go on.

Hope this helps and it does help to have someone to talk to.
I have 2 friends at the moment who call me regularly to have a little rant and it does them good to unload.

Very best wishes to you...and if you want to pm me you can.

Brenda x x

God bless you, Harry Happy Days.
x

Take heart that you can at least tell each other how much you love them. Share all the happy memories, laugh at the bad times but above all talk to them and hold them.

Better this way than a loved one taken from you suddenly,

My heart goes out to you at this very sad time.

Anne just <3 <3
Totally useless but no other way of thanking you for your post.
xx