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Oh Goodness! Need a rant!! SORTED :O)

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 6 Jan 2013 16:00

Sister and I have nearly had our first 'falling out' over mum's stuff.
Mum said in her will, that genealogy stuff was to come to me.
All other effects were first refusal to her children, then grandchildren, and if no-one wanted them, were to be sold and the money to be shared amongst the grandchildren.

We (sister, one brother & I) took the last 8 huge boxes out of storage yesterday.
We only managed to look through half of them. I phoned sister this afternoon, she mentioned mum's old doll's tea set - she was going to get it valued & sell it!!
Actually it was my gran's, (you can tell my sister isn't into genealogy!) and I sort of lied and said mum said it should come to me - genealogy stuff.
Actually, sister should have asked if anyone wanted it, as she obviously doesn't.
I've a sneaky feeling she thinks it's worth a bit, but that's besides the point. She actually said, if I got it I had to have it valued and find out where it came from - I can say one thing and do another once it's in my safe keeping. I don't care how much it's worth, and I know G grandad (a ship's steward) brought it back from Japan - it's got blue cranes on it..
Mum certainly wouldn't have wanted it sold.

ChrisofWessex

ChrisofWessex Report 6 Jan 2013 16:08

She might have a shock - not everything old is valuable. Have a japanese teaset circa 1963 in loft - never used it - seen them valued at £10-£20.

I also would have taken exception that she wanted it only to sell it. It's value is not monetary.

Janet

Janet Report 6 Jan 2013 16:11

? geneology ? tea-set. Can't see the connection but I can see where the fall out might be when sorting out family possessions. ......best of luck-j

eRRolSheep

eRRolSheep Report 6 Jan 2013 16:13

That's certainly a tricky one. "Genealogy stuff" is such a loose term and almost anything could be shoehorned into that cartegory. I would, however, be careful about what you say on a public message board.
Would it do any harm to have it valued? If it is worth a lot then she would probably have a valid legal point in saying it should be sold and the money go to the estate. Incidentally, blue cranes feature heavily in Japanese art, pottery etc because they are said to symbolise good health.

Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose Report 6 Jan 2013 16:15

It's probably not worth a lot, most aren't. £10 -£40 max probably. Porcelain prices are at a low anyway so tell your sister you would definitely be better off holding onto it for now :-)

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 6 Jan 2013 16:15

Hi Chris,
I personally don't think it's monetary value is much, g grandad didn't earn a fortune!!

I did take exception to her just thinking about selling it without asking the rest of us. This is why mum said I should have the genealogy stuff - sister would think there was no reason to keep ration cards, and would probably have thrown out my grandparents' love letters if I didn't already have them.
To me, it's all social history.

I've a horrible feeling, if she found out the tea set wasn't worth much, she may have given it to her 5 year old grand daughter to play with.
:-|

Muffyxx

Muffyxx Report 6 Jan 2013 16:21

All other effects were first refusal to other family members not up to be sold if valuable first and foremost. So Genealogy based or not ...selling it wasn't in the remit for her effects your mum set x

~~ Jules in Wiltshire~~

~~ Jules in Wiltshire~~ Report 6 Jan 2013 16:30

I agree with Muffy x

eRRolSheep

eRRolSheep Report 6 Jan 2013 16:30

um but she has asked you. As I say, certainly a difficult one and highly emotive.

Items like ration cards and love letters certainly have a genealogy or family history connection but it is important to ask yourself whether things have intrinsic or extrinsic value.

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 6 Jan 2013 16:31

Muffy you said what I was going to say. So you asked for it on first refusal Maggie. Sister needs to re-read the will.

Cynthia

Cynthia Report 6 Jan 2013 17:10

Why not tell your sister that it has sentimental value for you Maggie and that you would rather it wasn't sold but was lovingly cared for?

Appeal to her better nature....... :-D

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 6 Jan 2013 17:20

She should have asked before deciding to sell it.
She didn't ask me, just told me about when I happened to call her on another issue,
I asked what was in the boxes we hadn't unpacked, she mentioned a few things she intended selling, as she didn't want them, including the tea set, so I asked her to send me photo's of other stuff in case I wanted it.
Problem is, sister lives nearest to the storage unit, so when the unit was emptied it was left at her house, and she wants to clear her living room!! Brother (who gave me a lift yesterday), needed to get home.

Unfortunately, Cynthia, I confess to never having seen the tea set, but have heard a lot about it.
When Gran died, mum found it, showed it to my sister, who she was staying with, then took it back to Portugal. It was in the storage unit as mum brought a lot of stuff back last year, intending to settle in England this year.

Kay????

Kay???? Report 6 Jan 2013 17:39

Maggie,

Oh dont let it be sold,,,,,,,,,even if it results you settling on a price to go into the estate,,,,,,,,

this is a family keepsake,full of sentiment, if sold on you could not replace it.

what else is going without your knowledge that you would like kept within the family...

I feel as you do I'm afraid.

 Sue In Yorkshire.

Sue In Yorkshire. Report 6 Jan 2013 17:55

Maggie,,
My personnal opinion is that I would want to keep it as it has genealogical history..

Especially if your Grt grandad brought it back from Japan for your Gran..

You have to think of when your gran was born,,, year
and how old roughly she would have been when her father brought it back for her..

I would certainly get to your sisters and bring it home.

JustJohn

JustJohn Report 6 Jan 2013 18:32

What a terrible time for families :-( :-( And family rows.

Parents bought a newsagents shop in about 1959. Customers using to have stuff on a tally system and one woman (Mrs Knight) owed 42/- and it had not come down significantly in porevious 2 years.

A year later, Mrs Knight died. And her two daughters (both about 50yo) came into our shop from different directions and started discussing their mom's estate. The discussion rapidly became heated and, in a fairly full shop, fists were thrown and some blood flowed.

I was worried that we had lost 42/-. But mum had cannily overcharged the old lady one shilling a week for almost a year. And had apparently told the old girl the previous week "Mrs Knight, I have made a terrible mistake with your weekly bill...." The old lady looked shocked, then smiled for the first time in her life probabably. She was debt free!!!! :-D

Moral? Don't go shopping with sis, Maggie :-S Hope it all gets sorted out.

eRRolSheep

eRRolSheep Report 6 Jan 2013 18:39

Was it in America?

JoyBoroAngel

JoyBoroAngel Report 6 Jan 2013 18:44

if you want it i would ask her to get it values and pay her half the value
is it really worth falling out over :-(

Muffyxx

Muffyxx Report 6 Jan 2013 18:50

She shouldn't even need to pay half.....Maggie's mum wanted her belongings to go to family foremost...not be sold unless it was absolutely necessary if no one else wanted it....sadly these sorts of flash points DO occur after a bereavement but once sentimental items are sold there's no second chances....if she just wants the money I'm sure there will be other items no one wants at the end of the process she could raise a few bob from...not from things that meant a lot to your mum x

JoyBoroAngel

JoyBoroAngel Report 6 Jan 2013 18:52

but old peoples treasures are not to their younger families tastes
and if you keep everything their homes will look like junk yardsi

just think its the easy way out and no fall outs :-D

when i was 15 my mum died and the family stripped the house like vultures
even though we still lived in it

even my prized charm braclet my mum had bought a charm
every christmas and birthday since i was born
it was for my 21 birthday :-(

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 6 Jan 2013 18:53

I have an oriental tea and coffee services from the 1950's - geisha girl's head in the bottom of each cup - OH brought it back from Singapore where he was doing his national service - I doubt it is worth much

As for your sister, what a dreadful thing to do - still, my one and only sister cut off all relations with me six and a half years ago, over her slimey son in law - she chose him over me - and do I care? not one jot - I no longer have to listen to the unbelievable goings on in her dysfunctional family - her alcoholic husband, her slapper of a daughter, her wimp of a son and her sleazy two timing drug taking son in law - happy days

I note her daughter in law is a member of this site - I do hope she reads this :-D :-D