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A serious question?

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


UzziWithTears Report 7 Jan 2013 18:50

Tomorrow I will be attending a friends funeral.
Wearing black for me is not and never has been a problem, OH bought me a new scarf for Xmas and should it be chilly I would wear it not thinking.

The scarf in question is black but has skulls on it (as does my old one). I said I can´t wear it although R who´s funeral it is and W his wife would find it amusing. It´s the others that may object. OH said isn´t it strange that those who don´t really matter are those who would condemn.
I have to live amongst those who will condemn so do I or don´t I take my scarf ?

I have to say if I thought R or W would be offended I would not entertain it.

Tenerife Sun

Tenerife Sun Report 7 Jan 2013 18:57

Personally I wouldn't in case it did upset other family members. To me it wouldn't be worth the risk

Wendy x


StrayKitten Report 7 Jan 2013 18:57

i have a bit of a black sense f humour so i say wear it,

if the imedate family wont be offended then stuff the rest


JustGinnie Report 7 Jan 2013 18:58

I would wear it if I knew that your friend and his wife would not be offended by it, I don't really kow why it should offend anyone anyway. Would the people you live amongst really be that bothered by the scarf, if you think yes then would it upset you to know you had upset them.

Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose Report 7 Jan 2013 18:59

I wouldn't, not because it might offend, but because it might upset.

Without knowing the circumstances I would say that it 'may' possibly be hard for the bereaved to remember the deceased as they were, and a skull might be the image that sticks in the mind... especially if they had been ill prior to death.

I'd go without and be cold lol. ( edit: unless you can wear it round your neck but under a high collar ?, so it keeps you warm but carefully arranged so doesn't show)


GinN Report 7 Jan 2013 19:04

It might not actually upset or offend, but might draw attention: does that bother you?

Lady Cutie

Lady Cutie Report 7 Jan 2013 19:07

Uzzi , i was stuggling to put into words what Rambling Rose has said .
I agree with her :-)


AnnCardiff Report 7 Jan 2013 19:16

I wouldn't wear it - why take the risk of causing upset over a mere scarf


eRRolSheep Report 7 Jan 2013 19:18

I think you have answered your own question. If you are in doubt then do not wear it. Although it may have been looked upon as acceptable by the deceased you have to remember that a funeral is not for the dead but for the living to come to terms with their loss and something that may be seen by some, even one, as unacceptable or upsetting should therefore not be worn. The time for that is the wake and/or celebration of their life.


Mersey Report 7 Jan 2013 19:24

Personally I dont think I would X


UzziWithTears Report 7 Jan 2013 19:25

Apart from his wife there will be no other family just " transient" friends. But the scarf will stay at home


Kay???? Report 7 Jan 2013 19:34

You will stand out like a sore thumb.........even though you know their sense of humor in life,,,,,the wife may not find it funny at her husbands/partners funeral.


Ron2 Report 7 Jan 2013 20:11

NO. To wear it would show poor taste and, to my mind could well upset the deceased's family members


AnnCardiff Report 7 Jan 2013 20:15

good decision Uzzi :-) :-)


UzziWithTears Report 7 Jan 2013 20:23

Ann I know it is right but I also know R would have found it so amusing. Still the funeral isn´t about the dead but those left behind.


ChrisofWessex Report 7 Jan 2013 22:34

It could be rather upsetting for other mourners and someone may think you are 'taking the michael'. I would not.


AnninGlos Report 7 Jan 2013 22:48

Good idea not to wear it Uzzi, better to err on the side of caution.


kandj Report 7 Jan 2013 23:27

I also agree with the majority that having skulls on your scarf may well be very upsetting for others present, I personally do not think that it is worth taking a risk during such a sensitive service., best to chose a more appropriate scarf.