General Chat

Poor puss decided to go to America, but the only State to which he had access was Massivechewsets. This set back saw the demise of poor puss, but, as a believer in reincarnation, he came back as a porpoise.

Meanhile, Fanny

He has to leave his teeth in a glass because he is scared of swallowing them like the woman who swallowed a fly. but

carried on walking looking for the flying school but could

but only saw some flying pigs

and he had thoight thry could only swim

Having seen the flying pigs, Fanny pushed her imaginary friend to oneside, and cogitated. Having cogitated, she adjusted her clothes and set to work on a revolutionary plan: if pigs could fly, they could deliver themselves to the Bacon Factory. All that the factory would require was a small runway and a tractor and pile of sand just in case one of the pigs fell from the sky with engine failure.

All Fanny needed to do now was

Is it a bird or a plane ? no its babe escaping from the farmer who has a big chopper in his hand .ready to

Chop up the pig and make mince out of the little runt but then the farmer realised he wasnt holding his chopper he was holding a

chop of your head. This got Fanny thinking about other gruesome Nursery Rhymes...in fact the more she thought about it, the fewer sweet and jolly ones sprang to mind.

Still

Fanny was a lover of pork and

especially enjoyed pork chops. Now if apple orchards could also be established next to Pork Processing Premises then

Fanny could make friends with local Orchard manager there would be a match made in heaven ...

His name was

Fred Cox, and he was famous for his orange pippin, which the doctor had been treating for several years without any success.

Fred was a self made man, but he obviously hadn't read the instuctions as parts of him kept falling off. When Fred asked people for a screw, he wasn't being obscene, he was genuinely in need of one to reattach the fallen part.

Fanny though

felt sorry for Coxy (his pet name) and decided to see if she could reach the parts noone else could and so she began with

Offering him an apple from the nearest tree.

Fred recoiled (well he had just been fire from his old job) he didn't

appreciate the horse raddish sauce on his mass-produced reheated horseburger, otherwise known as Franco Food

as he went happily galloping down the street :-D

And went straight into a T**co metro

Excuse me, he whinnied

and dined in the posh staff canteen before being invited to the kitchen as a special guest

where he was treated to a saddle of horse....sorry, to a saddle of lamb.

In his thank you speach, Fred forgot where he was and thought that he was in Heidleburg. The assembled guests were not impressed when Fred addressed them as 'Idle Burgers', they thought that was reffering to their work ethics.

To redeem himself he