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Once Upon a Time............

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Allan

Allan Report 10 Jan 2013 21:50

Poor puss decided to go to America, but the only State to which he had access was Massivechewsets. This set back saw the demise of poor puss, but, as a believer in reincarnation, he came back as a porpoise.

Meanhile, Fanny

 Sue In Yorkshire.

Sue In Yorkshire. Report 10 Jan 2013 21:53

He has to leave his teeth in a glass because he is scared of swallowing them like the woman who swallowed a fly. but

 Sue In Yorkshire.

Sue In Yorkshire. Report 10 Jan 2013 21:55

carried on walking looking for the flying school but could

Paula+

Paula+ Report 11 Jan 2013 10:59

but only saw some flying pigs

David

David Report 11 Jan 2013 12:35


and he had thoight thry could only swim

Allan

Allan Report 13 Jan 2013 22:40

Having seen the flying pigs, Fanny pushed her imaginary friend to oneside, and cogitated. Having cogitated, she adjusted her clothes and set to work on a revolutionary plan: if pigs could fly, they could deliver themselves to the Bacon Factory. All that the factory would require was a small runway and a tractor and pile of sand just in case one of the pigs fell from the sky with engine failure.

All Fanny needed to do now was

Barbra

Barbra Report 13 Jan 2013 22:50

Is it a bird or a plane ? no its babe escaping from the farmer who has a big chopper in his hand .ready to

Mersey

Mersey Report 13 Jan 2013 22:58

Chop up the pig and make mince out of the little runt but then the farmer realised he wasnt holding his chopper he was holding a

Allan

Allan Report 13 Jan 2013 23:03

chop of your head. This got Fanny thinking about other gruesome Nursery Rhymes...in fact the more she thought about it, the fewer sweet and jolly ones sprang to mind.

Still

Mersey

Mersey Report 13 Jan 2013 23:06

Fanny was a lover of pork and

Allan

Allan Report 13 Jan 2013 23:24

especially enjoyed pork chops. Now if apple orchards could also be established next to Pork Processing Premises then

Mersey

Mersey Report 13 Jan 2013 23:28

Fanny could make friends with local Orchard manager there would be a match made in heaven ...

His name was

Allan

Allan Report 13 Jan 2013 23:43

Fred Cox, and he was famous for his orange pippin, which the doctor had been treating for several years without any success.

Fred was a self made man, but he obviously hadn't read the instuctions as parts of him kept falling off. When Fred asked people for a screw, he wasn't being obscene, he was genuinely in need of one to reattach the fallen part.

Fanny though

Mersey

Mersey Report 13 Jan 2013 23:48

felt sorry for Coxy (his pet name) and decided to see if she could reach the parts noone else could and so she began with

Allan

Allan Report 13 Jan 2013 23:55

Offering him an apple from the nearest tree.

Fred recoiled (well he had just been fire from his old job) he didn't

Dermot

Dermot Report 19 Jan 2013 15:52

appreciate the horse raddish sauce on his mass-produced reheated horseburger, otherwise known as Franco Food

Paula+

Paula+ Report 19 Jan 2013 16:24

as he went happily galloping down the street :-D

Barbinsglos

Barbinsglos Report 19 Jan 2013 16:55

And went straight into a T**co metro

Excuse me, he whinnied

Dermot

Dermot Report 19 Jan 2013 20:52

and dined in the posh staff canteen before being invited to the kitchen as a special guest

Allan

Allan Report 19 Jan 2013 21:02

where he was treated to a saddle of horse....sorry, to a saddle of lamb.

In his thank you speach, Fred forgot where he was and thought that he was in Heidleburg. The assembled guests were not impressed when Fred addressed them as 'Idle Burgers', they thought that was reffering to their work ethics.

To redeem himself he