General Chat

"Ellen Moore" had suffered the loss of her husband in 1914 when she done it , she wasn't of sound mind at all.

sharing the find" It wasn't because grandmother-in-law is in old age. it's just because of the nature of the story as it involved a child being drowned that i didn't know whether to share the story with the family or not.
but i will as it's just part of their family history.

personally i found it quite an interesting discovery from a researching point of view, it's a ancestor of my children .

Judging by the relationship of cousin etc., I would assume that most of the older generations in your famiily would probably already know about this and just not told you about it, or more likely are of the generation when this type of crime would not have been talked about and ignored.

Best thing to do is ask your relative if they want to know the bad as well as the good. I had to ask my gt/aunts if they knew about other children in the family apart from the 6 we knew and they both knew of another baby who had died. So It most probably will not be new information. Also sounds pretty much like prolonged post natal depression, not really recognised then much.

One of my g/g/grandfathers murdered his wife - found out by accident a few years ago. It was deemed an accidental death but if you read between the lines of all the reports it is obvious what happened.

Me I found it quite interesting.

I'd agree with Annina based on our experiences with mother-in-law aged 88 and my now deceased mother b 1919.

Although both upright people in their communities, neither were shocked by so called scandals relating to their familes, even those involving relatives still living or known of when they were young.

They both went through the experience of WW2. Your OH's grandmother may be less shockable than you think!

You in fact said 1st cousin twice removed - that's quite close - a first cousin twice removed could be a shared grandparent ot brother/sister of such a grandparent - so would certainly be within possible living memory of your Grandmother-in-law

As a Grandmother myself,I wonder why everyone thinks that we need to be treated with kid gloves.

We know far more than our youngsters think,as an instance,last week my younger daughter hinted that there more positions than the missionary,for older folk with arthritis. Does she think that she invented sex?

The brother that my dad sired with his first wife was a secret all my life,until I found about him when my parents separated,and as my dad wouldnt discuss the matter it was 40 yrs before I managed to find him. He also,had no idea of my existance so we lost all those years,which wes worse for him as he was brought up as an only child of a single mother.

I think that the point that I am trying to make is fragility of mind has nothing to do with age.

By the way,all the white stuff is gone,hooray!!! :-D :-D :-D

Thank you ,
I think i'll mention the names, and see if it rings bells. if she asks about what happened/ already knew or says she always wondered about what happened there or something like that then i'll warn her it's not a nice story and let her decide whether she wants me to tell her about it or not .

I'd reel off the names to see if Grandma recognises them.
But there's every chance Grandma may not have even known her cousin twice removed!
I know the names (or more precisely nicknames) of a couple of cousins 2 x removed - my gran used to talk about them - but I have never met them.

I think along the lines of Island said and suggested, and Mr Maggo ,your G'ma may very well know this event especially as it was recorded in the press.


Family ' secrets ' supposedly hidden for years are more often than not just known by all but not spoken about...depends on families.

Take what ChrisofWessex said about someone dying 7 yrs after their relative had thought they had died...that was probably not in the press and said relative wouldn't have known , it may have disturbed the relative who was unaware to have been told then.

If you can read the details now it's likely that G'ma could have seen them at the time, unless she lived at the other end of the country.

It may disturb G'ma now talking about it ,what does your hubby think ?

Don't think i would tell Gran outright but say that found some new names and do you recognise them. Add some names that she doesn't know of with the childs name and see what she says.

I did not mean to imply that this knowledge should be omitted from the tree but rather that Grandma should not be told.

If in doubt.............leave ot out!

Print it off and give it to her,,,,,,,,family history is family history and cant be glossed over,,,,,,skeletons warts and all,make the framework on the tree,,,,,,a second cousin once removed is far enough away from a direct line that it cant be shared as no personal involvement was included.......it happens in famlies...

If you found it disturbing, think of Grandma who probably never even knew her relative.

In talking some years ago to an elderly gentleman off a branch in OH's tree - he was chatting about history he knew and said he had had an aunt who died when she was 14. I knew differently but kept quiet.

She was taken into the local asylum when she was 14 and died in there aged 21, she had epilepsy.

I would definitely keep quiet especially as a child was involved.

Hi Natasha

If a rellie was taking a keen interest in my research I would tell them but introduce the story in a tactful manner. I wouldn't tell all and sundry if they had no interest in my tree.
Are you sure your G'ma in law doesn't already know of this sad event? Maybe sound her out with the name first?

good luck :-)

I found a horrific crime , but keep wondering whether to tell the family of it..

I was researching through my husbands side. especially for his Grandma who is in amazement of what i find out about her ancestors.
Anyway .
I came across her 1st cousin 2x removed, who went insane and murdered her 3yr old daughter in a pond .i found the record and article and the detail etc was quite disturbing .

I wondered if you found out something so tragic like this would you share it, or just not . I go over to my Grandmother-in-laws and tell her all i find but feel abit weird about telling her of an insane Murder who took a child's life :-(

keep thinking it's one of those stories that can go in my file and stay there ..