General Chat

:-D

ROFLMAO and do you know I actually seem to be acquainted with a lady that obviously combined a couple of those drugs in post one ;-) :-D ;-) :-D

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida , are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers, "Yes."

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do"

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds."

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "How about Viagra?"

Pharmacist: "Of course."

Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills , Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."

New Drugs For Women

D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up
to 8 full hours.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by
rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness
by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers
and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups
swallowed before an evening out increases breast size,
decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low
IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup
trucks.

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling
road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases
resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want
to be a better person ... Can we get naked now?.."

B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.
Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of
spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember
your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on
anyone too eager to share their life stories with
total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T
When administered to a husband, provides the same
irritation level as nagging him all weekend, saving
the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

a humour bypass indeed :-D :-D :-D

*slaps Mr. Daff for being unkind to a famous resident of Pontypandy* ;-) Thomas needs the Fat Controller to sort out Sam.

I thought the joke was bloody funny :-D I guess you wouldn't if cyanide, straying husbands, wives or innocent chemists resonate, or you'd had a humour bypass.

Fireman Sam has been cited for 'playing' with a Postman's cat, whilst simultaneously 'stoking Thomas', apparently.

Must be true, it was on Google....????

The Grim reaper came for me last night, but I fought him off with a vacuum cleaner: I was Dyson with Death :-D

Dysons are far too heavy

:-D :-D :-D :-D

Its probably being googled as we speak :-D

Have to consult the ORACLE. about that one. :-D

Are hobgoblins good at cleaning rooms?
I was thinking of getting a Dyson but would a hobgoblin be better? I know Dysons are very good at picking up dirt because of their cyclone type thingy mechanism but does a hobgoblin suck?

Ann and Island, one word"" Blow. :-D :-D :-D :-D ;-)

Nah Merlin think he has been sent to clean his room.

Don,t tell me he,s back from consulting the Oracle in Delphi.Oh Woe is us. :-0 :-0 :-0 :-S .com ;-)

AnnCardiff - I meant to say - I will learn a little Welsh if it will help (before you know who translates it ) :-D :-D

GP

not a Welsh speaker GP - only know one word of that lot but no doubt him wot knows everything won't be able to resist coming on here to translate

Merlin - I think I know who you mean. :-D :-D

AnnCardiff - Ddysga hychydig Cymraeg pes ewyllysia chyfnertha (oops sorry should have spoke english) ;-) ;-)

GP

No comment on that GP. but in certain parts there a "Hobgoblins". who tend to spoil things. :-D :-D :-D