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Boring chat board tonight - here's some fun

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

eRRolSheep

eRRolSheep Report 1 Feb 2013 14:01

Are hobgoblins good at cleaning rooms?
I was thinking of getting a Dyson but would a hobgoblin be better? I know Dysons are very good at picking up dirt because of their cyclone type thingy mechanism but does a hobgoblin suck?

Merlin

Merlin Report 1 Feb 2013 14:03

Have to consult the ORACLE. about that one. :-D

Barbinsglos

Barbinsglos Report 1 Feb 2013 14:11

Its probably being googled as we speak :-D

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 1 Feb 2013 14:45

:-D :-D :-D :-D

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 1 Feb 2013 21:47

Dysons are far too heavy

Allan

Allan Report 1 Feb 2013 22:05

The Grim reaper came for me last night, but I fought him off with a vacuum cleaner: I was Dyson with Death :-D

MrDaff

MrDaff Report 1 Feb 2013 22:13

Fireman Sam has been cited for 'playing' with a Postman's cat, whilst simultaneously 'stoking Thomas', apparently.

Must be true, it was on Google....????

supercrutch

supercrutch Report 1 Feb 2013 22:44

*slaps Mr. Daff for being unkind to a famous resident of Pontypandy* ;-) Thomas needs the Fat Controller to sort out Sam.

I thought the joke was bloody funny :-D I guess you wouldn't if cyanide, straying husbands, wives or innocent chemists resonate, or you'd had a humour bypass.

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 1 Feb 2013 22:51

a humour bypass indeed :-D :-D :-D

Eeyore13

Eeyore13 Report 1 Feb 2013 22:59

New Drugs For Women

D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up
to 8 full hours.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by
rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness
by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers
and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups
swallowed before an evening out increases breast size,
decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low
IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup
trucks.

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling
road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases
resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want
to be a better person ... Can we get naked now?.."

B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.
Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of
spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember
your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on
anyone too eager to share their life stories with
total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T
When administered to a husband, provides the same
irritation level as nagging him all weekend, saving
the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

Eeyore13

Eeyore13 Report 1 Feb 2013 23:04

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida , are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers, "Yes."

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do"

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds."

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "How about Viagra?"

Pharmacist: "Of course."

Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills , Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."

supercrutch

supercrutch Report 1 Feb 2013 23:13

ROFLMAO and do you know I actually seem to be acquainted with a lady that obviously combined a couple of those drugs in post one ;-) :-D ;-) :-D

Eeyore13

Eeyore13 Report 1 Feb 2013 23:15

:-D

JustJohn

JustJohn Report 1 Feb 2013 23:22

I must laugh at almost every joke on here, even those aimed at me personally. But, sorry, I did not find the first joke at all funny. Does that make me a bad person? Obviously ;-)

And I did chuckle at both of Eeyore's posts :-D

Suspect the unfunniest joke ever on Genes will get the greatest number of posts eventually. :-S

Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose Report 1 Feb 2013 23:25

"Allan Report 1 Feb 2013 22:05
The Grim reaper came for me last night, but I fought him off with a vacuum cleaner: I was Dyson with Death "

Now THAT made me laugh

:-D

supercrutch

supercrutch Report 1 Feb 2013 23:34

That was good our Rose :-D

eRRolSheep

eRRolSheep Report 1 Feb 2013 23:49

each to his or her own - I found it hilarious whereas crude, purile and weak jokes about things like women's bodies leave me somewhat cold

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 1 Feb 2013 23:53

we know you didn't like my posting - you've told us ad nauseum so as I asked you before - shove off somewhere else and let us with a sense of humour enjoy this thread - please!!
!the best joke you came up with was your mate Archdruid Wotsit - now that was hysterical


Eeyore13

Eeyore13 Report 1 Feb 2013 23:57

Druid walks into a pub.

Landlord says, "oi, you're Bard!"

aivlyS

aivlyS Report 1 Feb 2013 23:57

It was even funnier when he posted that he was not John :-)