General Chat

Top tip - using the Genes Reunited community

Welcome to the Genes Reunited community boards!

  • The Genes Reunited community is made up of millions of people with similar interests. Discover your family history and make life long friends along the way.
  • You will find a close knit but welcoming group of keen genealogists all prepared to offer advice and help to new members.
  • And it's not all serious business. The boards are often a place to relax and be entertained by all kinds of subjects.
  • The Genes community will go out of their way to help you, so don’t be shy about asking for help.

Quick Search

Single word search

Gift subscriptions

Genes Reunited gift subscription

Do you know someone interested in discovering their family history?

You can now buy a gift subscription to Genes Reunited so they can research their family tree.

Buy gift or redeem gift

Icons

  • New posts
  • No new posts
  • Thread closed
  • Stickied, new posts
  • Stickied, no new posts

I'll risk another

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

supercrutch

supercrutch Report 4 Feb 2013 22:53

I found this really funny.........................

supercrutch

supercrutch Report 4 Feb 2013 22:53

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck..

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5kg as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10kg program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10kg as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25kg program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine."

He lost 33 kilos that week.

 Sue In Yorkshire.

Sue In Yorkshire. Report 4 Feb 2013 22:56

:-D :-D :-D LOL

Wend

Wend Report 4 Feb 2013 22:57

Just what I need Sue :-D

JustJohn

JustJohn Report 4 Feb 2013 23:01

:-D :-D :-D

Just sending it via email to a couple of people. Hope it is not copyright, Sue ;-)

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 4 Feb 2013 23:01

:-D :-D

Can't see that one going Sis........... :-(

SueMaid

SueMaid Report 4 Feb 2013 23:03

Love it :-D :-D

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 4 Feb 2013 23:03

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

Jeniwren

Jeniwren Report 5 Feb 2013 07:30

:-D :-D :-D :-D thanks Sue, xx

OneFootInTheGrave

OneFootInTheGrave Report 5 Feb 2013 07:39

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

Stephen2009

Stephen2009 Report 5 Feb 2013 07:48

It takes less muscle and effort to SMILE than it does to FROWN

That was a cracker :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

Paula+

Paula+ Report 5 Feb 2013 12:36

I have just choked on my cripsbread :-D

PricklyHolly

PricklyHolly Report 5 Feb 2013 12:41

Just going to send that on to a friend.

:-D :-D

Merlin

Merlin Report 5 Feb 2013 12:46

PMSL. :-D :-D :-D

PricklyHolly

PricklyHolly Report 5 Feb 2013 12:47

Just received this one.........

A wife ,being the romantic sort,sent her husband a text: If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!



The husband, being a normal man, replied, "I am on the toilet, what should I do?




supercrutch

supercrutch Report 5 Feb 2013 14:20

lolol PH :-D :-D