General Chat

Why God Created Animals ...

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?" Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."

And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but perhaps too well."

And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility.

And God was pleased.
And Adam was greatly improved.
And Dog was happy.
And the Cat didn't give a hoot one way or the other.

Oh Tigger :-D :-D :-D :

Thats why I dont keep a cat ;-)

Surely the title of the thread should be Animal Joke, not Christian Jokes. There's only one and it hasn't got a single Christian in it. :-)

C` mon Ken, it does mention Jesus`s dad , does it not?
:-D

there may be trouble ahead!!!! :-D :-D :-D ;-) ;-) ;-)

Yes but I'm not sure that he is a Christian.

EDIT: I am satisfied with the title now, shame about the missing posts.

Oooh Errrr

Gonna get myself a gin ready ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)

Hyah Ann :-D
Whoops......................

The oldest profession in the world....

A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world. The doctor remarked, 'Well, in the Bible it says that God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam. This clearly required surgery, so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world.'

The civil engineer interrupted and said, 'But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong; mine is the oldest profession in the world.'

The computer scientist leaned back in his chair, smiled and said confidently, 'Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?'

The request reviewer is obviously not a Christian. :-D :-D

And lets face the music and dance .......... la la la

ET

I find the Heading of your post offensive. After all, you wouldn't head a post 'Racist' or Sexist thread, would you? it is an invitation for those who feel inclined, to annoy others.

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.'

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.

They faxed.

They e-mailed.

They e-mailed with attachments.

They downloaded.

They did spreadsheets!

They wrote reports.

They created labels and cards.

They created charts and graphs.

They did some genealogy reports

They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with Heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off..

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: 'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!'

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work..

Satan observed this and became irate.

'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?'

God just shrugged his shoulders and said, "JESUS SAVES"

I knew it - didn't I say :-D

LOLOL Cynthia, that made me laugh :-)

Susan10146857
The joke came from a christian site so why should you be offended if people on a christian site are not .
It appears to me thats just being opinionated for the sake of it. :-D

Cynthia :-D :-D :-D

Think I needed that!!!!

A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?'

The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and that's how all mankind was made.'

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.

The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys, from which the human race evolved.'

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'

The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.

Cynthia - me too :-( :-D :-D :-D

You see ladies.
Christians like anyone else can understand humour and tell jokes. :-D

I have no doubt you are right Sue x 2 ;-)

Don't know why on earth people think I haven't got a sense of humour...... :-D