General Chat

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred for real.

He asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."

Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know, I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response.

The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds.

Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.

Little Johnny said, "Well... every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Good Lord, are you still in there?!"




I could go on.....and on.....but I won't bore you ;-)

On a personal note I would like an apology from the request reviewer.
And also anyone else who thought to tell me what my motives were.

It is I who is offended. :-(

Sorry ET I didn't realise you had put the thread up for the enjoyment of all. I suppose if Cynthia says it is alright then it must be so. I personally thought it was put up to annoy but obviously not eh? one of my assumptions again.

:-D :-D :-D :-D.

Please post it again Jimbob, because I didn't get a chance to be offended ;-)

Evening Cynthia,
we have spoken before and you may know I am not a Christian. it was some time ago so you probably wont remember and I cant remember what board name I was going under at that time either.lol.

You might find this one funny Cynthia...

An Obituary,

Our church was saddened to learn this week of the death of one of our most valued members, Someone Else.

Some one's passing creates a vacancy that will be difficult to fill. Else has been with us for many years and for every one of those years, Someone did far more than a normal person's share of the work. Whenever there was a job to do, a class to teach, or a meeting to attend, one name was on every one's list, "Let Someone Else do it." Whenever leadership was mentioned, this wonderful person was looked to for inspiration as well as results; "Someone Else can work with that group."

It was common knowledge that Someone Else was among the most liberal givers in our church. Whenever there was a financial need, everyone just assumed Someone Else would make up the difference.

Someone Else was a wonderful person; sometimes appearing superhuman. Were the truth known, everybody expected too much of Someone Else. Now Someone Else is gone! We wonder what we are going to do.

Someone Else left a wonderful example to follow, but who is going to follow it? Who is going to do the things Someone Else did?

When you are asked to help this year, remember -- we can't depend on Someone Else anymore.

Rose, I wouldn't have dared to put that one on, he he! :-D

It OK Susan, I can see now how it can be misconstrued. :-)

Flipping Norah, I`d better cancel my next thread, it was going to be called "Welsh Jokes".... Only kidding Ann , Only kidding.. :-D :

But on second thoughts Mmmm... :-D :-D :-D

I think it may have been the thread title that was found to be potentially inciting to those who have already professed an abhorrence to Christianity on GR.

I love Welsh jokes - carry on please!! only ones I don't like are racist jokes and those that ridicule the afflicted - anything else - bring it on :-D :-D

By popular demand.
Well ...as a personal favour to Wend, he,he.

Why God Created Animals ...

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?" Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."

And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but perhaps too well."

And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility.

And God was pleased.
And Adam was greatly improved.
And Dog was happy.
And the Cat didn't give a hoot one way or the other.

if you say so Ann.....it must be right then, mustn't it?.

and you can join me on the naughty step after I was also wrongly reported on the Cardinal thread

Ann if you think I`m going to put up a welsh jokes thread up whilst you and Sue are on the boards think again. :-)

I may be prone to silliness at times , but I aint flaming stupid. :-P
I value what little life I have left.. :-D :-D :-D

I'm harmless - can't speak for Sue though :-D

Ann, I dont think anyone would darest speak for Sue. roflmso :-D :-D

I love going in my garden Jimbobs - always 'feel' that someone is with me there. Don't have a dog or cat, but it's the place where I definitely feel at peace and that someone I can't see is beside me. Lovely OP, thankyou. Shame it was RR'd, because we all 'read' posts and are affected in different ways sometimes. What a shame :-(

I didn't see what was requested for review; I only saw the title of the thread. Will you be starting more threads in a similar vein such as Jewish jokes, Muslim jokes, Hindu jokes?

Just interested.

Hi Joy that may just turn out to be a good idea.
Trouble is it may or, could turn into us and them situation,when it should be about humour, all religions have it to some extent.
We should be able to make fun of each other without it escalating out of control.
I always wonder do the Irish or Scottish tell English jokes. I assume they may.

I believe humour is universal and rightly so.
We should be able to laugh at ourselves as well as others.

What I say is, "If you cant laugh at yourself, I`ll do it for you." :-D :-D :-D


After that little rant I had better put another joke on, not strictly religious but it does mention the Bible. :-D

One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the monkey was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's The Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?

"Well," said the monkey, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

I have a sneaky feeling that wasn't an invitation or a challenge ;-)