General Chat

I must confess to being a naughty boy and a really bad houseowner!

At least judging by standards which have been imposed on another thread :-|

My wife and I own our property which we have lived in for nearly 20 years and yet it seems that we would make ideal Council tenants.

You see, we have not watered our front lawn for the last three years and it now looks a tad brown and very sandy. We do use it for parking my car on, for which I really should be ashamed as I have not washed or cleaned the car for at least four years (it does get washed by the garage when I take it in for infrequent services: this is a necessity to enable staff to remove enough dirt so that they can open the bonnet)

Some of our aluminium windows are suffering from corrosion, but we like the pitted effect

.I can't afford to replace them as that means that I may have to cut back on my consumption of alcohol. I have also decided to recommence smoking and will probably take up gambling. Why waste good money on bricks and mortar which will still be here long after I've gone (Early death due to drinking and smoking)


As for the net curtains in the toilet windows, they've been there for the whole twenty years (they were there when we moved in) and there's no point washing them as they would disintegrate the minute we tried to take them down.


We will sit under our front verandah, me in a singlet and my OH wearing a dressing gown and curlers srveying our rapidly expanding front wasteland through an alcoholic haze and a cloud og ciggy smoke

We wont bother recycling our empty beer bottles as they make good missiles for hurling at passing vehicles.

Our neighbours' have long ago given up trying to talk to us as the only words I know are mainly four letter ones, (also great for keeping away Mormons and Jehova Witnesses)

I know, I know: I'm a very naughty boy who should be taken out and given a public flogging!!! :-(

Can I come round some time?

Sounds like you couldn`t give a Castlemaine XXXX matey. :-D :-D :-D

It's people like you .....etc...etc.....etc. :-D :-D

We're hoping that the neighbours will buy us out and demolish the place so that the area can be restored to the condition that it enjoyed before we moved in :-D

Can I come and visit next time I pop over to Oz Allan? Sounds like home from home to me :-D

Ya dont have to worry matey supplies are on the way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtwkDGlpWJk

see its folk like you that give the impression all bluey's wear a cork hat still and sing about Matilda,you painted a very good picture why so many pomps come back to UK..

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D..... ;-)

.....I presume only the pomps come back, Kay, (they must be the 'classy' poms) the poms stay ???? :-D :-D :-D

I'd not seen that one ET

Kay, the cork hat was going to be my next trick....it would go with my corked thigh :-D

Wend, let me know when you are planning on visiting and I'll lay in some extra road-kill

I'm sure that your visitors won't mind staying in the rusty old Holden in the front yard :-D

Maggie,,

well pomps are posher........ ;-) :-D

A bit warm in Summer, Sue. They'd probably be better off camping in the Dunny at the back: at least the blowies provide some form of air movement :-D

Just be careful if you go Wend, there`s a story going round that the lamb burgers out there have 50% Roo meat in them, :-D

Nothing wrong with Roo ET: we can buy it in our local supermarket, and it is labelled as such!

Bit of a b*gger if it was lamb!! :-D

As long as the rest is 50% wallaby, Tigger, that'll be billybongo with me :-D

Wend, you can always visit with Kays Pomp; depends on the Circumstances whether you march or fly ;-)

I'll ensure that only genuine roadkill is available, although I wont be able to label it until I have identied the species. I could always call it 100% beef

Same with the horse meat over here Allan, nothing wrong with the meat, its just the misuse of labeling at fault apparently.... plus a little added paranoia I dont think that was included in the ingredients either. :-D

ET, I remember many years ago when there was another great meat substitution scandal. It would have been in the early 1980's, possibly 82 or 83 which was we emigrated to Oz from the UK.

Consignments of beef were found to be Kangaroo!

I'll do a search and see if I can find the details, but please don't go off subject: this thread is all about how my wife and I would make great council tenants if we ever decided to return to the UK :-D :-D :-D

Allan are you related to Jed Clampet's family who emigrated to the U.S. of A ? ;-)