General Chat

Our 30 year old teenage child has gone absolutely berserk over us, his parents not getting divorced, this is because we have got over the problems we had and are happy now, however said child is angry with us because WE have caused said child angst.
Well excuse me if we are happy with each other now.

I would have thought he would be pleased for you both, I am. :-)

Maybe he felt that if the problems were able to be resolved you should have kept quiet about them to him and he is now angry mainly as a 'reaction' to perhaps thinking he would have to choose which parent to 'support' and he found that thought really stressful?

Just a guess. I am glad you have resolved your issues though and I am sure your son will be also when things settle. :-)

My son is 30 and much as I still feel protective toward him, he is now an adult and has had to face lots of things with me and his own problems too.

I think your son is being selfish and immature. Not sure what you mean about him being 30 year old teenage child but if he is 30 it's time he grew up and realised he has witnessed a good life lesson. Yes you, his parents, had problems and considered separating but he should have learned that it's not necessary to give up on a relationship, and sometimes problems can be resolved and harmony restored. He should see that it's possible to overcome difficult times and work to rebuild a life together instead of ending up with two parents who are alone and unhappy.

Good luck to you, I hope your renewed happiness continues.

Lizx

My 38 year old rang me last summer to say she was getting re married, but that she wasn´t inviting me & my husband, because her father & his wife were going & she didn´t want an "atmosphere" on her day.
As her father & I have been divorced for 15 years, I hardly think that was likely.
When I protested to her about it, she put the phone down on me & hasn´t been in touch since. All I get when I phone is the answerphone.

That's sad Wisechild, what an awful thing to do, and then to put the phone down and not speak to you again - words fail me!

I feel very lucky that I am close to my son and have no problems with his father, who is many miles away and hasn't take a lot of interest in his son since he took a wife. Nasty piece of work she is, jealous of me and my lad tho what for I don't know? She and the father have their own son so not as if she has missed out and the father never contributed more than an odd pound here and there, but at least there is no conflict because of the distance and attitude.

Lizx

That´s what really bugs me.
I brought her & her sister up with minimal input from their father & my daughter lived with him & his wife for a few weeks in her late teens until the wife threw her out, whereupon she came home.
Now suddenly, they´re chocolate & I´m the Wicked Witch of the West.

I guessed you must have brought your daughter up, so for her to turn this way is doubly hurtful.

I hope she will realise what she has done and apologise to you but nothing will quite undo that hurt, will it?

Don't forget tho, chocolate melts. Witches are strong!

Lizxx

I never thought in a million years that he would behave like that (a lot more than I will say on here) he will find his stuff on the front lawn, I've told him and he needs to get it before the dustbin men do. Breaks my heart, but maybe it will be his wakeup call.

Children, no matter how old will usually blame us parents for something or other.

He knows you love him and I am sure he loves you too, but at 30 he probably needs to find a place of his own.

xx

Hope he will learn his lesson and respect you and his Dad, and when he has calmed down and embraced his independence, he will become close to you both again.

Don't let this destroy your marriage, stay united and help each other through this difficult time, and let your son know he is welcome to visit any time when he is reconciled to the fact that you are staying together.

Lizx

Good Luck to you both for giving it another try. Its your life at the end of the day, not his. I do think as we get older we see things in a different light. When the time comes to call it a day, you will know. I wish you much happiness for the future <3 <

Thank you all for your comments, I have to say now that other family say it is just between hubby and me, some think it strange but are happy for us, son is the only one that has a problem with it.

Sounds a bit like Perry, :-D :-D,

yep 30year olds can act like brats and teenagers,,,,,,give him a wide birth,,,,he will soon calm down.......onwards and upwards.

Invite him out for a drink. :-D

We think he is Kevin the teenager personified (but real age is 30) we also think he is ashamed of us because we are on a council estate although we bought our house, have lived in it for 31years, maybe he is Mrs Bucket too. He lives in a flat in a posh area of Surrey where he struggles to pay rent and live but has never wanted us to go there, mmmmm keeping up appearances, it all ads up to him being a snob me thinks.

I do hope he is not ashamed of you. You have given him life and where he is today. Without boasting my hubby a company director we own a detached house and 2 beautiful cars. All paid for. I have 4 children and 3 of them are council tenants. Money should not matter. We are a family xx

Wisechild, that is so out of order.
Zzzzz that is out of order too!!
My ex is a bit of a Lothario. One longish term girlfriend, I didn't like, neither did our daughters. I said nothing, but daughters did! The last one he had, was lovely and had a 13 year old daughter who became very close to our 10 year old grand daughter. Ex has dumped the girlfriend, but she and her daughter are staying with my daughter for a few days. I'll probably go over and see her at the weekend - she's lovely and doesn't deserve his treatment!
Both my ex and whatever girlfriend he had at the time attended both our daughters weddings, as did the sons of the c*w who split us apart.
True the c*w wasn't invited, but her sons were innocent.

Zzzz - he's 30. Why is he concerned about your relationship with anyone? I'd be tempted to tell him to 'get a life'!
We allow our children gradual freedom - so it should be for parents!!

As for his snobbery - just remind him where he came from - there must be some ag labs in your ancestry!! :-D
I loved telling my girls (we'd lived on a council estate on the edge of the New Forest for a few years and were regularly harrassed by ex travellers) that we came from (on my grandad's side) New Forest travellers. Imagine their joy when I pointed out their dad's family were possibly New Forest travellers too :-D
Ancestry - a great leveller :-D

My Dads side are all ag labs back to the 1700s and there's no airs and graces, Dad is the only one not to retire from farming, he was a builder for many years, Mums side were wealthy business people, no airs and graces there either, hubby's side working class and travellers, perhaps that is his problem, not enough posh people for him to boast about.
I will put him in his place when I see him, hubby and I is what we is and happy. Son however is not it would seem. :-(

Zzzz - he's 30 - that's his problem :-D
I think if ex and I (who get on really well separate) ever got together again the girls (29 and 32) would just roll their eyes and take the p*ss.
They've got their own lives now.
Sounds harsh, but your son is the result of his ancestry - and he shouldn't forget it.
I got a degree when I was 43. Hasn't done much good, but I know i was as intelligent before I got it as after. Still doesn't change the fact that 20 years before, I was an ag lab for 2 years - and thoroughly enjoyed it.
Grandad was a left handed dock worker. His bad spelling (especially of Wednesday) had nothing to do with his intelligence/class, more to do with his having to write with his right hand.