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world war 1 explained

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


terryj Report 8 Apr 2013 17:26

got this off one off the scooter forums chat section
thought it was both clever and funny

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers.
Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.

Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene.

Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?
Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper.
When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.
France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia.
Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.
Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.
Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting.

Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change. Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway.
Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.
America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.
By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered.

Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.


LilyL Report 8 Apr 2013 17:40

There was nothing either clever or funny about WW1.


terryj Report 8 Apr 2013 17:57

never said there was siad the way the person had explained the war was clever and funny

i actually get very angry watching programmes about the 1st world war


Kuros Report 8 Apr 2013 18:04

My grandfather suffered greatly for the rest of his life from injuries sustained in WW1. I am appalled and saddened that anyone sees fit to look at it in a light-hearted manner.


+++DetEcTive+++ Report 8 Apr 2013 18:33

As long as people can get the names of the 'People' in their heads, it’s a great way of explaining why it happened and the order of alliances so that later generations can understand.

Although I don’t think of WW1 as funny, the personified explanation is certainly clever.


LilyL Report 8 Apr 2013 19:02

My Grandfather was in the Ox and Bucks L.I from 1915-1919 - fortunately he survived but was shell shocked and gassed. He went away a boy and came back an old man, he and thousands of others suffered dreadfully both during and after the war from physical and mental trauma. He died in 1949 aged 56 from illness related to having been gassed. No, you will never convince me of the merits of reducing it to the lowest common denominator in order to offer an explanation.


+++DetEcTive+++ Report 8 Apr 2013 19:18

Like terryj, I also get angry about the tragedy caused to thousands of families whose enlisted or conscripted soldier menfok were slaughtered or maimed.

The Allegory isn't belittling their suffering, but trying to explain why the War occured. Generation X haven't had the experience of any major conflict which effects all of them. Likening it to a bar-room brawl helps them to learn.

WW1 to a certain extent was 'living history' as you saw the effects with your own eyes. For the current generation, it is real history as most of the great grandparents have died. When we eventually die, WW2 will be considered the same.

Although of not the same magnitude, a student couldn't get his head round the opening description of the Battle in Macbeth. By likening it to a football match with his 'favourite' team and their opponents, he 'got it'.

Its far better to reduce a world changing event to the common denominator if it helps (some) people understand *why* and *how* it happened.

We may have to agree to disagree ;-)