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The Two Cow Principle.

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Brenda from Wales

Brenda from Wales Report 26 Apr 2013 19:35



World economy explained with two cows

> SOCIALISM
>
> You have 2 cows.
>
> You give one to your neighbour.
>

>
> COMMUNISM
>
> You have 2 cows
>
> The State takes both and gives you some milk.
>
>
>
> FASCISM
>
> You have 2 cows.
>
> The State takes both and sells you some milk.
>
>
>
> BUREAUCRATISM
>
> You have 2 cows.
>
> The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk
> away.
>
>
>
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
>
> You have two cows.
>
> You sell one and buy a bull.
>
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
>
> You sell them and retire on the income.
>
>
>
> VENTURE CAPITALISM
>
> You have two cows.
>
> You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
>
> credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
> debt/equity
>
> swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back,
>
> with a tax exemption for five cows.
>
> The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
>
> Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
>
> the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
>
> The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
>
> more.
>
>
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>
> You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
>
> Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.
>
>
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>
> You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want
>
> three cows.
>
>
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.
>
> You decide to have lunch.
>
>
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION
>
> You have 5,000 cows.
>
> None of them belong to you.
>
> You charge the owners for storing them.
>
>
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>
> You have 300 people milking them.
>
> You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
>
> You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
>
>
>
> AN INDIAN CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>
> You worship them.
>
>
>
> A BRITISH CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>
> Both are mad.
>
>
>
> AN IRAQI CORPORATION
>
> Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
>
> You tell them that you have none.
>
> Nobody believes you, so they bomb you and invade your
>
> country.
>
> You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.
>
>
>
> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>
> Business seems pretty good.
>
> You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
>
>
>
> A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>
> The one on the left looks very attractive.
>
>
>
> A GREEK CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
>
> You eat both of them.
>
> The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call
> the IMF.
>
> The IMF loans you two cows.
>
> You eat both of them.
>
> The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
>
> You are out getting a haircut.
>
>
>
> AN IRISH CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows
>
> One of them's a horse!



Sharron

Sharron Report 26 Apr 2013 19:41

Right, got it now.

Porkie_Pie

Porkie_Pie Report 26 Apr 2013 19:43

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

Roy

InspectorGreenPen

InspectorGreenPen Report 26 Apr 2013 19:49

Brilliant...!

Joking aside there's a lot of truth in there too. Then there is the man married to the silly version, but best not to go there.....!

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 26 Apr 2013 19:50

brill!!!!

JustJohn

JustJohn Report 26 Apr 2013 20:27

Enjoyed all of those. a Welsh Corporation would swap the two cows for some sheep. And a Black Country Corporation for pigs - so you could get pork scratchings. :-)

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 26 Apr 2013 23:54

So true, Brenda :-D

Brenda from Wales

Brenda from Wales Report 27 Apr 2013 10:51

Giving this a nudge as I think it's good.

terryj

terryj Report 28 Apr 2013 12:43

you forgot the genes re united cows
you have 2 cows
you dont like the way 1 cow moos so you report it

you call the other cow john likes horlikes and every time it raises its head you beat it with a stick

GRMarilyn

GRMarilyn Report 28 Apr 2013 12:54

terryj...


Outrageous remark towards John....
I think you ought to delete that comment .


I don't report I would rather state on boards .. :-S

JustJohn

JustJohn Report 28 Apr 2013 12:58

Terryj :-D :-D

Quite opposite of how GRMarilyn took it, I think :-) And appreciate both your posts. And no, absolutely no need for a report ;-)

Funny post, Terry :-D

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 28 Apr 2013 13:01

THE SCOTTISH COW.

The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk.
Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply.
So, they brought the cow over from Scotland. It was absolutely wonderful,
it produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.
They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows,
so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but
whenever the bull tried to mount the cow,

the cow would move away.

No matter what approach the bull tried,

the cow would move away from the bull,

and he was never able to do the deed.
The people were very upset and decided to go to
the Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and
ask his advice.
"Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away.

If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.

When he approaches her from the front, she backs off.

If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side."

The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this
before asking,

"Did you by chance, buy this cow in Scotland?"

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned
that they had brought the cow over from Scotland.

"You are truly a wise Vet," they said.
"How did you know we got the cow from Scotland?

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye:


"My wife is from Scotland"

GRMarilyn

GRMarilyn Report 28 Apr 2013 13:02

John ?????????

SueMaid

SueMaid Report 28 Apr 2013 13:09

I'm sorry Brenda but I'm deeply offended.

> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>
> Business seems pretty good.
>
> You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate

I wouldn't close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate - only a crisp white Aussie wine would do ;-)

JustJohn

JustJohn Report 28 Apr 2013 13:09

GRMarilyn. Terry can be a bit blunt. But his heart is in right place and, despite one or two disagreements, he has never had a go at me personally. So his post amused me. But I can see why you thought he was having a go. No, just friendly banter.

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 28 Apr 2013 13:17

why do people copy n paste, items without editing the line breaks out?

JustJohn

JustJohn Report 28 Apr 2013 13:19

In Australia, they like arrows on everything. Part of their history, Bob ;-)

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 28 Apr 2013 13:20

Say no more then John, I was fergetting that asp[ect!!

SueMaid

SueMaid Report 28 Apr 2013 13:21

Oh - did I do it wrong?

JustJohn

JustJohn Report 28 Apr 2013 13:24

Not in my opinion, SueM. Hope you don't take a fence. OP had arrows as well, and she lives in North Wales (where they still admire Owain Glyndwr and his archery skills).